Deputy Barney Fife - A Legend Has Passed.
In Memoriam - In his own words . . .
"Boy, I tell you, if I ever came home with anything less than As, I just didn't dare come home . . . I did that once. Remember? The teacher made such a fuss about it that all the kids hated me . . . Well, it's a fact. I didn't want 'em thinking I was some kind of a snob or an egghead or something, so I buckled down and got bad marks."
"We the people . . . We the people . . . We the people of . . ."
"That's a mark of us Fifes. Nothing goes to fat. It all goes to muscle."
"Gun-drawing practice, ten minutes every day. If I ever have to use this baby, I want to teach it to come to papa in a hurry."
"Well, I guess to sum it up, you could say, there's three reasons why there's so little crime in Mayberry. There's Andy, and there's me, and [patting gun] baby makes three."
"Now here at the Rock we have two rules. Memorize them until you can say them in your sleep. Rule number one: obey all rules. Rule number two: no writing on the walls."
"Well, today's eight-year-olds are tomorrow's teenagers. I say this calls for action and now. Nip it in the bud. First sign of youngsters going wrong, you've got to nip it in the bud."
"Boys, when that steel door slams shut, that's the end of the happy days. No more fishin', no more ball playin', no more peanut butter sandwiches."
"Yeah, I believe that's what I'll do. Go home... have a nap... and then over to Thelma Lou's for TV."
"Barney, beloved, the tears on my pillow bespeak the pain that is in my heart." At the reunion: "Oh, come off it Ramona."
"I did my part in helping to whip the dreaded Hun."
"Gomer, get down there with them spiders and start workin'!"
"What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a man take off a dress before?"
"I did not start it, he started it!"
"I don't want to talk about it."
""He's a nut."
"Oh, you're real funny. You ought to get a cane and a cigar and work a carnival."
"You're a riot, you know that. Why don't you go some place and have it."
"You ought to go on the radio and be an all-night disc jockey. I could turn you off."
"'The quality of mercy is not strained. It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven.' You're not talking to a jerk, you know."
"You just listen to your Pa, son, and you'll never go wrong."
"Swept into the dustbin of history - Exit, Barney Fife."
"You beat everything, you know that?" ~ Andy
In Memoriam - In his own words . . .
"Boy, I tell you, if I ever came home with anything less than As, I just didn't dare come home . . . I did that once. Remember? The teacher made such a fuss about it that all the kids hated me . . . Well, it's a fact. I didn't want 'em thinking I was some kind of a snob or an egghead or something, so I buckled down and got bad marks."
"We the people . . . We the people . . . We the people of . . ."
"That's a mark of us Fifes. Nothing goes to fat. It all goes to muscle."
"Gun-drawing practice, ten minutes every day. If I ever have to use this baby, I want to teach it to come to papa in a hurry."
"Well, I guess to sum it up, you could say, there's three reasons why there's so little crime in Mayberry. There's Andy, and there's me, and [patting gun] baby makes three."
"Now here at the Rock we have two rules. Memorize them until you can say them in your sleep. Rule number one: obey all rules. Rule number two: no writing on the walls."
"Well, today's eight-year-olds are tomorrow's teenagers. I say this calls for action and now. Nip it in the bud. First sign of youngsters going wrong, you've got to nip it in the bud."
"Boys, when that steel door slams shut, that's the end of the happy days. No more fishin', no more ball playin', no more peanut butter sandwiches."
"Yeah, I believe that's what I'll do. Go home... have a nap... and then over to Thelma Lou's for TV."
"Barney, beloved, the tears on my pillow bespeak the pain that is in my heart." At the reunion: "Oh, come off it Ramona."
"I did my part in helping to whip the dreaded Hun."
"Gomer, get down there with them spiders and start workin'!"
"What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a man take off a dress before?"
"I did not start it, he started it!"
"I don't want to talk about it."
""He's a nut."
"Oh, you're real funny. You ought to get a cane and a cigar and work a carnival."
"You're a riot, you know that. Why don't you go some place and have it."
"You ought to go on the radio and be an all-night disc jockey. I could turn you off."
"'The quality of mercy is not strained. It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven.' You're not talking to a jerk, you know."
"You just listen to your Pa, son, and you'll never go wrong."
"Swept into the dustbin of history - Exit, Barney Fife."
"You beat everything, you know that?" ~ Andy
