Have you ever Shit your pants

[fatdaddycool]

I was performing oral acrobatics on a girl when I was 20 in the backseat of my 76 Bonneville when the cheesy beef I had an hour earlier decided it wanted to move on without any further delay. Luckily we were in a Seventh Day Adventist parking lot on a Sunday night so I grabbed her Shaun Cassidy poster to use as a splatter shield and just ran behind the car and kind of hung on to the back bumper with one hand and fired away. Used my t-shirt to clean up, was an Eagles shirt that she gave me anyway so I was perfectly happy to ass crash it.
Threw the shirt in the donation box and jumped back into the backseat to finish the job. Well miss priss had already called it and was dressed in the front seat saying something about "take me home you nasty fucker" or something like that. Whatever. I just said, "you have gas money or any weed or anything"?
Little whiny bitch broke my damn door handle.

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[Nole]

It was retaliation for a guy that put raw shrimp in the trunk of my car. We were having a party in the woods, I dropped a bomb on the hood of his car.........:facepalm:

This is embarrassing..... I was driving on a long stretch of road with no stores etc. It was just farms and fields. There was a cemetary back off the road so I pulled in, grabbed one of my kids zip lock barf bags I keep for them for emergencies, and crawled the back of my car and let one go. Disposed of it and drove on.....

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EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

 

[RichD]

Yes quite a few times over the years , all unexpected sharts . Usually from lots of drugs or drink from the night before .

Shit happens ?


But one that i will never forget wasn`t in the pants. It was in the bed.

Me and my wife at the time, went out and partied it up, lots of drink and coke. So we get home and do the dirty for a bit and fall asleep. Pretty normal.

Then about 8 AM after a few hours of rest .I let one rip ..Oh man it was a shart !

It woke me up, and i new something was wrong. So i get out of bed a see a perfect pile of loose stool .I mean it was piled high on the bed, just like Richard Dryfess would have built it with mashed potatoes.

I was stunned , but the wife was stone cold out, so i had some time . Thankfully we had a califoronia king bed and she wouldnt be rolling into it anytime soon

So i clean my tush.

Then went to the kitchen and grabbed a spatula , went back to the room and pulled the sheet tight and scouped that pile clean off the sheet ! I couldn`t believe how clean it came off. threw that sucker in the toliet and went back to bed.

No harm no foul