Hondo

[carp]

Big Bart and the Mets fattened up against the Fish on Wednesday night in the Big Citi, which allowed Hondo to widen his bulbous wad to 3,789 brutons.

Thursday: Mr. Aitch will make the Brave selection by going with Foltynewicz over the Pods ? 20 units.

 

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The Braves, aka the Twins of the National League, hung on for dear life and dear old Hondo against the Padres on Thursday, which increased the earnings to 3,889 puhls.

Friday night: Mr. Aitch will do launch with the Astros ? 20 units on Mister Fister to punch out the Rangers.





 

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Hondo whiffed Friday night with Fister and the ?Stros, who were thoroughly thumped by the Rangers to reduce the earnings to 3,789 foytacks Saturday night: Mr. Aitch will give Fulmer an opportunity to get back in HondoNation?s good graces ? 20 units on the Tigers.

 

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That?s it, Fulmer is out of the stable! Hondo was forced to take action Saturday night after the Tiger twirler?s latest losing start cut the earnings to 3,689 hammakers.

Sunday: Mr. Aitch will give the Giants the menial task of defeating Lackey ? 20 units on Johnny Beisbol.

 

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Jayson Heyward blooped the Giants to death Sunday at Wrigley, which caused Hondo to suffer a third straight setback that reduced his earnings to 3,589 northrups.

Monday: Mr. Aitch expects Zoolander to be a model of excellence against the White Sox ? 20 units on the Tigers to shred Sale.

 

[carp]

Things are looking Upton for Hondo after Justin?s heroics in the 11th inning lifted the Tigers over the White Sox and boosted the earnings to 3,698 mcraes.

Tuesday night: Mr. Aitch expects to give Gee an ?A? for his performance in Minneapolis ? 20 units on the Royals.

 

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The Royals rallied for Hondo on Tuesday night, overtaking the Twinkies to give him a second straight victory that expanded the earnings to 3,798 keltners.

Wednesday: Mr. Aitch again will mambo with Carlos ? 20 units on Carrasco and the Tribe to bring down the Astros.


 

[carp]

The Tribe held off the Astros on Wednesday night, which enabled Hondo to increase his winning streak to three and his earnings to a robust 3,898 mortons.

Thursday night: Mr. Aitch will vacate the diamond district and make his first investment in the pigskin futures market ? 20 units on the Panthers to get some minor revenge on the Broncos.

 

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The Bosawx yukked it up in Toronto on Friday night, which sent Hondo laughing all the way to the bank as he made a deposit that grew his account to 3,888 hentgens.

Saturday: Mr. Aitch will switch dugouts and tap Happ to slap the Sawx ? 20 units on the Blue Jays.

 

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Hondo made it two in a row in Toronto where he rolled with the Jays on Saturday to elevate the earnings to 3,988 metcalfs.

Sunday night: Horsehide Hondo gives way to Pigskin Hondo, who will be deflated if the depleted Patriots aren?t soundly defeated in Arizona.

 

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Hondo lost another chance to crack the 4,000 barrier on Sunday night when the Cardinals were Garropolo?d by the Patriots to reduce the earnings to 3,878 horners.

Monday night: Mr. Aitch will take a stab with Foltynewicz ? 20 units on Los Bravos. Or Niners.

 

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Hondo breezed with the Braves on Monday night to lift the earnings to 3,978 bahnsens. Also, regarding the inadvertent and ambiguous mention of the 49ers in Monday?s ?selection? paragraph, FBI Director James Comey says Mr. Aitch cannot collect because there was no intent to invest.

Tuesday night: Mr. Aitch expects Sabathia to overcome the odds and beat L.A. ? 20 units on the Yankees.

 

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Hondo finally crashed through the 4,000 barrier, collecting with the Yankees on Tuesday night to raise the runaway earnings to 4,108 blanchards.

Wednesday: Mr. Aitch will stick with the Baby Bombers and invest 20 units on Pineda to outduel Kershaw.

 

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Hondo whiffed Wednesday with the Yankees, who deprived him of a big payday by losing to the Dodgers to reduce the earnings to 4,008 samples.

Thursday night: Mr. Aitch expects Gang Green to generate some cash against Rex?s offensively challenged Bills ? 20 units on Fitz and friends.

 

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The Jets bounced off the canvas Thursday night in Buffalo, sticking it to Rex and causing Hondo?s earnings to climb back up to 4,108 kemps.

Friday night: Mr. Aitch will give the well-rested Fulmer a chance to regain his stall in the Stable of Stalwarts ? 20 units on the Tigers.

 

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Fulmer failed to carry out the modest task given him by Hondo on Friday night, getting thoroughly thumped by the Tribe to trim the earnings to 4,008 bandos.

Saturday: Mr. Aitch will take a stab with the Brew Crew over Arietta ? 20 units on Davies.

 

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Hondo rolled Saturday with the Brewskis, who pounded Arietta and the Small Bears to send the runaway profits soaring to a season-high 4,248 lamonicas.

Sunday: Mr. Aitch?s will buckle up and hit the gridiron for a 20-unit play on the Raiders to deck the Dirty Birds.

 

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The Silver and Black were sorely lacking against the Falcons on Sunday, which caused Hondo?s earnings to tumble to 4,138 reuschels.

Monday night: Mr. Aitch will try to re-garner some profits by bumming a ride with the Giants in L.A. ? 20 units.

 

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The useless Giants bullpen ruined Hondo?s Monday night, pulling its customary gag job to spoil a hefty payday and reduce the earnings to 4,038 rettenmunds.

Tuesday night: Mr. Aitch will go with Gausman to pad the account ? 20 units on the Orioles to gain ground on the Sawx.

 

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Hondo absorbed another loss Tuesday night when the Orioles took a page from the Yankees book and served up a fat pitch to Big Papi that ultimately cut the earnings to 3,921.

Wednesday: Mr. Aitch expects Kennedy to give the Indians fits ? 20 units on the Royals.