How does your wife/girlfriend feel about your gambling?

[chump]

and would you quit if she wanted you to???

Very tough topic for me right now. My wife is VERY much against this and then some. She has been wanting me to quit and she was very pissed after finding a western union receipt in my car yesterday. I screwed up and forgot to throw it away and now I'm paying the price. Big argument last night and this morning. She doesn't understand how I feel about this, she's just totally against it.

I am a very small time bettor (100-200 a game) and I enjoy doing this and if I were to take a break or quit, I want it to be on my terms, not because of her. She's not perfect either. I just want to be able to gamble if I want to. I don't bet everyday and I don't go overboard. I have been doing pretty good since December, but it would be nice to have her approval, instead of sneaking around behind her back to do it.

I'm sure some of you guys have/had gone thru this before.

Tell me what you all think and your experiences with this. I can't be the only one with this problem.

 

[BahamaMama]

i don't have one

 

[MadJack]

i have a lot of experience in this area. they will never understand and you HAVE to keep it to yourself. don't tell them ANYTHING about it. nothing!

trust me. they don't need to know and what they don't know won't hurt them, unless, of course........you're art schlister or something.

 

[DNOMYAR_5791]

My soon to be ex only liked my gambling when I was winning. She never complained after we got married that I used my winnings to furnish our home, pay off her car, fly her out to San Diego, 3 fuhking diamond rings and supplement our life style. Of course during my losing streaks I was a "compulsive" gambler. She also does not like the fact that I have to watch Saturday football or an occasional weekday game instead of fuhking MTV or the E channel. I would have kept it secret if I could but gambling has been a part of my life for over half of my life. It would be too hard for me to hide. I tried to be as open as I could with her over it. Part of our breakup could be attributed to gambling but the problem for us is much deeper.

Chump: Was the western union for receiving or sending money? If it is the green receipt I could see her anger. If it was the yellow sheet she should not be trippin'

 

[TheShrimp]

I'm not trying to be a shrink here. All of this is just my opinion.

Key question here: Why doesn't she like your gambling? Is it because it cuts into your finances, because you're ornery when you're doing it, or because she finds it morally reprehensible. If its one of the first two, you should probably look into quitting. If its the third, then you should try explaining your enjoyment from it to her.

You say if you want to quit its going to be on your terms, not because of her. You know, marriage isn't a competition. If she asks you to quit doing something that bothers her and you quit, she doesn't WIN. If that's how your marriage is, there's probably worse problems than your gambling, and all of your tussling over gambling is just the symptom, not the cause.

Here's a few reasons my wife doesn't mind my gambling:

First of all, my bankroll is completely constructed from the ground up (mainly from playing poker) so I've *never* tapped into OUR finances.

Second of all, if you're playing 100-200 a game, lets say you're 5 games below .500 at the end of a month. I don't know your finances, but that's a mortage payment / rent check for much of the general population. Its not a good idea to be gambling with money you *need* for things. If your roll is big enough to handle those swings, fine. If you need to tap into finances to replenish it, then you're probably gamlbing too much per game.

Third of all, if she 'found' a western union stub and got pissed, that means she didnt' know you were gambling. i.e. you're being dishonest with her. I don't think that's a good sign. My wife doesn't care what my bets are, but she knows I always have action on something. She doesn't LIKE my betting, but that doesn't mean I keep it from her.

My wife's major problem with it is that I watch too much on TV and that I'm always flipping the dial to get scores.

And yes, if it got to the point where she was asking me to stop, I probably would. You're talking about respecting your wife's desires versus betting on a friggin ball game. Come on.

But here's the thing: two of my favorite things are drinking and gambling. She doesn't like me doing either of them, but if either got to the point where my wife was asking me to quit, its probably because I should.

TheShrimp

 

[fatdaddycool]

The answer to your question is the same for all questions involving the wife.


Don't say a frickin thing, and if she asks...LIE!.......Me, what, honey, of couse not ........still love ya honey!!!!!1

easy as pie

 

[JSMOOTH]

My wife and I use the "Don't ask/ Don't tell policy". She knows I gamble but she has no idea of the $ that passes through my hands every week.

Funny story though..... Just this past season FB season, I was trying to cash my SB winnings. I had 5, five hundred dollar postal money orders.(2500.00) Well, since my wife works at the local bank, I went to the same bank in another town. Those motherf*ckers wouldn't cash them cause "they didn't know me!" Eventually, I went into my wife's bank...walked to the window farthest from her and asked for all 100 dollar bills. Just my luck, I went to a girl who had just started working there and she didn't know how to cash postal money orders. Who do you think she asked how to do it? You guessed it....my wife. haha

Anyways, when my wife got home, she says..."I think we need a new stove". I said "I don't have any money." She looked at me with an evil smile and said...."Bullsh*t".

 

[MadJack]

My wife and I use the "Don't ask/ Don't tell policy". She knows I gamble but she has no idea of the $ that passes through my hands every week.

same exact thing here. NO DETAILS.

i quit playing poker because she didn't like the late nights out. i quit the multiple vegas trips each year because i got stung about 10 years ago. but as far as the sports betting goes, i'll just use the above policy. we get along just fine like this

 

[chump]

Thanks for the feedback.

No, I am not different towards when I'm gambling at all. I don't even act different towards when i'm watching a game losing or winning.

She is just totally against it, morally, i guess. I've tried to explain stuff to her and she just doesn't get it and never will.

I am using money on the side and winnings to deposit and withdraw.

The western union slip was a send money yesterday. I sent out and of course, she wasn't around this morning when i got a check that was more than the western union deposit from Fed Ex.

I understand that about marriage, but if it doesn't affect her at all, then whats the big deal?

I like jack's response, but i don't this to cause a divorce. I just want to do what i've been doing without a big problem.

 

[Lightning]

My soon to be ex only liked my gambling when I was winning. She never complained after we got married that I used my winnings to furnish our home, pay off her car, fly her out to San Diego, 3 fuhking diamond rings and supplement our life style. Of course during my losing streaks I was a "compulsive" gambler.

My ex-wife was exactly the same way. She also disliked the amount of time I put into it. My current g/f doesn't like it either but much more for the time aspect of it. She thinks I spend way too much time on the computer analyzing games and reading Madjacks. However, half the the time I am on here, she thinks I am cybering or internet flirting which is NOT the case. I spend the majority of my time on here at Madjacks, playing fantasy sports and downloading music. I would guess many of us are in the same boat.

GL.

 

[ryson]

Believe or not my wife does not care. I am sure there would be issues if my burn rate exceeded our income, but that is not the case and will never be.

 

[ryson]

However, half the the time I am on here, she thinks I am cybering or internet flirting which is NOT the case. I spend the majority of my time on here at Madjacks, playing fantasy sports and downloading music. I would guess many of us are in the same boat.

GL.

Lightning,

I guess if you don't work in the industry that is the case, for me there has been many times when my wife comes into my office (I work mainly from home) and says "what are you doing", I let her look and then she says "oh ok". Computers are the tools of my trade and she knew that when we got together, so it's really not a big deal in our house. Now I am sure she would have issues if I was pleasuring myself and looking @ porn, but half the time when she comes in I am working on stuff that really makes no sense to her so she says "I am glad you understand that BS" and just leaves. I do have an idea for you folks who don't work in the industry, take a snapshot of some sort of generic image and just have it minimized, when the wife/SO walks up, click on it and just say I am looking @ the market or something to that effect.

 

[PETE]

I'm 26 and been gambling since I was 13 or 14. when I met my wife I told her that I don't drink or smoke or do drugs but I do :director: GAMBLE, I told her that we can get together but this is my life. she dosn't care if I gamble as long as we have money. and the kids are taken care of,they are. but when she's mad at me for something then I have a problem or I'm a loser. but she is so happy when we go shopping and she gets what ever she wants. that's women for ya. it's all good. madjack is right, don't say to much.I don't.

 

[Bluemound Freak]

My hand is happy when it is full of money and mad when there is not any in it! If you know what I mean

 

[Sports Junkie]

Could not agree with you more, ryson. Sounds very familiar. I was up front with my wife from the start and gambling has been to her benefit on occasion. She says, "hell, you watch so much sports, you might as well make a little $$ off of it." If it is too much time on the PC she tells me and I stop. Occasionally I flip to a game or ESPNEWS and she'll ask, "did you bet on that one?" or, "who do we like in this game?" but that is about all it comes up at my house.

 

[chump]

I'm very jealous of you guys who have no problems with the wife over this shit.

Very jealous

My wife goes to bed early most nights so I can be on the computer without a hassle during those times.

The problem also is that I like to bet halftimes and if I bet full games all the time, I could do it from work or walking the dog, etc

I can't ever see her asking who I like in a game or anything positive like that.

 

[benchwarmer]

My wife has no problem with my gambling, got two payouts last week for over a grand , took my wife to dinner and all is good. I am a small time gambler compared to most here. Since I don't use the food or rent money my wife has no problem with it.

 

[AR182]

Gambling is part of the reason that I am married to wife#2.I tried to keep #1 in the dark but she became suspicious when she asked me if I gamble & told her no.Big mistake,she did not trust me on anything.I couldn't even take a dump in peace.Learned my lesson & negotiated with #2.I can spend time handicapping football only but not let it interfere with our social life.So now in basketball season I usually coattail the games from different people on the net.Bet a few games & get scores when the games end.I think the key is not becoming a prisoner of gambling.Not getting scores every 5 min.,or excusing yourself from dinner or at a party just to get scores.Also as someone previously stated don't use the house money to bet.

 

[bohawk]

Jack-Man is right. Don`t tell them much. They`re "happy" to share in the "winnings", but not "happy" about the times you lose. So keep the"action" down. Most importent ,don`t bet what you can`t afford to lose. You`re not going to make your fortune gambling. Keep it a hobby you can afford. Hovever, saying that,once it awhile slide her a "Dead President" or two saying you won a little. But don`t get in money problems over gambling. Also, use money orders to send money . They`re cheaper & more descreet than Western Union. GL

 

[Bama6895]

She is not too bad with it. She knows that I am a small time gambler so I do not lose the farm. She loves it when I win but if I lose she screws with me about it.

If she wanted me to quit then I would. The only time she does mind is when I would drive in and have to get onto the internet to do some research. She did not like it when it took time away from her. So know I get everything done before I go to see her.

When we get married and I gamble too much to affect our income then I will quit. That is when she would have a problem.