I am a BAD American

[cisco]

A friend sent me this. I thought it was pretty good.

I Am Your Worst Nightmare. I am a Bad American.
I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some mid-level governmental functionary with a bad comb-overwho wants to give it away to crack addicts squirting out babies.
I'm not in touch with my feelings and I like it that way, dammit!
I believe no one ever died because of something Ozzy Osbourne, Ice-Tea or Marilyn Mason sang.
I think owning a gun doesn't make you a killer.
I believe it's called the Boy Scouts for a reason.
I don't think being a minority makes you noble or victimized.
I believe that, if you're selling me a Big Mac, you'd better do it in English.
I don't use the excuse "it's for the children" as a shield for opinions or actions.
I think fireworks should be legal on the 4th of July.
I think that being a student doesn't give you any more enlightenment than working at Blockbuster. In fact, if your parents are footing the bill to put your pansy ass through 4-8 years of college, you haven't begun to be enlightened.
I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God.
My heros are John Wayne, the Simpsons and whoever canceled Dr.Quinn, Medicine Woman.
I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor.
I know wrestling is fake and I don't waste my time arguing about it.
I think global warming is a big lie. Where are all the experts now, when I am freezing my ass through a long winter?
I've never owned a slave, or was a slave.
I didn't wander forty years in the desert after getting chased out of Egypt.
I haven't burned any witches or been persecuted by the Turks and neither have you, so shut the =%$! up already.
I want to know which church it is exactly where The Reverand Jessie Jackson preaches, and, where does he get his money, and why is he always part of the problem and not the solution.
I think the cops have every right to shoot you're sorry ass if you're running from them.
I also think they have the right to pull your sorry ass over if you're breaking the law, regardless of what color you are.
I think if you're too stupid to know how a ballot works,I don't want you deciding who should be running the most poweerful nation in the world for the next four years.
I hate those bastards standing standing in the intersections trying too sell me crap or to guilt me into making donations to thier cause.These people should be targets.
If you're in the passing lane, and not passing, your license should be revoked, and you should be forced to ride the bus until you promise to never delay the rest of us again.
I think tatoos and piercing are fine if you want them, but please don't pretend that they are a political statement.
I think Dr.Seuss was a genius.
I'm neither angry or disenfranchised, no matter how desperately the mainstream media would like the world to believe otherwise.
I believe if she has her lips on your willie, it is sex, for both of you. This even applies when you are the President of the United States.
If that makes me a Bad American, then yes, I'm a Bad American.

 

[ctownguy]

I think that just about covers it

 

[surfman101]

Give credit where credit is due, George Carlin wrote that piece. An article I read stated that they where more than just a stage routine, he actually believes in teh entire piece. As a matter of fact, I guess I do too. Color me another George Carlin Bad American!

 

[cisco]

This is the way it was sent to me.
"George Carlin didn't write this, and the author states in George Carlin's style. I find it radical in some respects, and pragmatic in others. The first ammendment is wonderful".

If George Carlin wrote it, then God bless him.

[This message has been edited by cisco (edited 08-18-2001).]

 

[djv]

Were all bad. At least compared to the first ones here. Look at some the chit cites we built and the beautiful land we destroyed. Hell we ant done yet. Our Kids might make it through what we leave-em. Our Grand kids are in deep shit.

 

[billboy]

Here is the original version :


Yes, I Guess I am A BAD American.
I like big cars, big boats, big houses, and naturally - big tits.

I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some mid-level governmental functionary with a bad comb-over who wants to give it away to crack addicts squirting out babies. I don't care about appearing compassionate.

I think playing with toy guns doesn't make you a killer.

I believe it's called the Boy Scouts for a reason.

I think I'm doing better than the homeless.

I don't think being a minority makes you noble or victimized.

I have the right not to be tolerant of others because they are different, weird or piss me off.

I know what SEX is and there are not varying degrees of it. Hell, just ask my wife.

I don't celebrate Kwanzaa. But if you want to that's fine; just don't feel like everyone else should have to.

I believe that if you are selling me a Dairy queen shake, pack of cigarettes, or hotel room you do it in English.

As of matter of fact, if you are an American citizen you should speak English. My father and grandfather shouldn't have to die in vain so you can leave the countries you were born in to come disrespect ours.

I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry ass if you're running from them after they tell you to stop. If you can't understand the word freeze or stop in English, See the previous line.

If I received a blow job from one of my subordinate employees in my office, it wouldn't be a private matter or my personal business. I would have been FIRED immediately.

I know how to count votes and I feel much safer letting a machine with no political affiliation recount when needed.

I know what the definition of lying is.

I don't think just because you were not born in this country, you qualify for any special loan programs, gov't sponsored bank loans, etc., so you can you can open a hotel, c-store, trinket shop, or any damn thing else.

I thought the Taco Bell dog was funny.

I want them to bring back safe and sane fireworks.

I believe no one ever died because of something Ozzy Osbourne, Ice-T or Marilyn Manson sang, but that doesn't mean I want to listen to that crap from someone else's car when I'm stopped at a red light.But I respect your right to.

I think that being a student doesn't give you any more enlightenment than working at Blockbuster or Jack In The Box.

I don't want to eat or drink anything with the words light, Lite, or fat-free on the package.

I did not go to some foreign country and risk my life in vain and defend our constitution so that decades later you can tell me it's a living document ever changing and is open to interpretation.

I don't hate the rich.

I don't pity the poor.

I know wrestling is fake.

I've never owned or was a slave, and a large percentage or our forefathers weren't wealthy enough to own one either.

I think you can respect and admire women while mentally undressing them.

I believe a self-righteous liberal with a cause is more dangerous than a Hell's Angel with an attitude.

I want to know which church is it exactly where the "Rev." Jesse Jackson preaches; and besides what exactly is his job function.

I don't care where Ellen puts her tongue.

I own a gun, you can own a gun, and any red blooded American should be allowed to own a gun, but if you use it in a crime then you will serve the time. A rubber band and a paper clip is a dangerous weapon in the hands of someone with malicious intent.

I worry about dying before I get even.

I didn't take the initiative in inventing the Internet.

I think Bill Gates has every right to keep every penny he made and continue to make more. If it pisses you off, invent the next operating system that's better and put your name on the building. Ask your buddy that invented the Internet to help you.

I don't believe in hate crime legislation. Even suggesting it pisses me off. You're telling me that someone who is a minority, gay, disabled, another nationality, or otherwise different from the mainstream of this country has more value as a human being that I do as a white male. Hell, if someone kills anyone, I'd say that it's a hate crime.

I like the convenience of buying oranges from a sidewalk vendor or while I'm waiting at a stop-light, and I'm pretty sure the Latin midget selling them to me is glad she no longer lives in a refrigerator box in East LA or is sleeping in the streets of her home country.

We don't need more laws! Let's enforce the ones we already have.

I think turkey bacon, turkey beef, turkey fake anything sucks.

I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it takes a parent with the balls to stand up to the kid and spank his butt and say "NO".

I think tattoos and piercing are fine if you want them, but please don't pretend they are a political statement.

I'll admit that the only movie that ever made me cry was Ole Yeller.

I didn't realize Dr. Seuss was a genius until I had a kid.

I will not be frowned upon or be looked down upon or be made to keep silent because I have these beliefs and opinions.

I thought this country allowed me that right I will not conform or compromise just to keep from hurting somebody's feelings.

I'm neither angry nor disenfranchised, no matter how desperately the mainstream media would like the world to believe otherwise.

Yes, I guess by their definition, I'm a bad American.
http://www.freerepublic.com/forum/a3b21fbab4b27.htm

 

[Duncan]

Well chaps, let me say the following:

I am not an American. I came, from England, to live here 10 years ago for the great opportunities, great life and great people. I love it here and I would never live anywhere else.

It seems pretty obvious to me that the founding fathers wrote the constitution to protect the average citizen against people just like you - threats both internal and external. You know the kind of person I'm talking about: male, white, redneck middle-aged failures casting around for people to blame at having such disappointing lives. Must be the blacks, or maybe those on welfare, or could it be too many immigrants ruining this great nation??

None of the above, gentlemen. The Republic remains strong, its institutions continue to protect and guide the nation forward, and despite the many problems we face, we will continue to be able to marginalize the bizarre right-wing militia supremacist types. These kind of people attempt to build themselves up by bringing others down, and they have failed continually throughout history, and will continue to do so.

Your pathetic ravings are the perfect testimony to your impotence.

 

[Duncan]

Oh yes, and you really, genuinely are bad Americans.

 

[ctownguy]

Hey Duncan get your head outta your ass and smell what America is all about.

You are definitely one of those extreme left wing pinkos who has come here from England and feeds off the taxpayers of this great country like the rest of your liberal kind.

Typical of your kind to read a piece like this and immediately jump to redneck white males etc, right out of the extreme left wing handbook.

 

[Duncan]

ctown:

I'm a freedom loving, tax-paying white guy who loves the US and always defends her when in Europe.

There is no more "extreme left-wing". They all went away a long time ago, their time passed, they were wrong, they are now with the dinosaurs.

Now, seriously, how many people posting on this thread do you think are:

Right-wing, white, male, redneck, middle-aged, frustrated failures.

See, some stereotypes are valid!!

 

[bear]

Duncan,
I'll confess to being white,male and middle aged......frustrated? NO....failure? HARDLY (by any measure), redneck? NOT...........but I've been here a little more than 10 years and I remember better days in this country. While we continue to benefit from our technological advancements we suffer from a shrinking middle class and a growing polarization between the haves and the have nots. Nuclear families are going the way of the dinosaur and collective morality,values and ethics seem in an irreversable tailspin.
Some of us just value things the way they used to be.
I sure don't agree with 100% of the "Bad American" statements but many are "Right ON" IMHO.... I could add a few about CEOs who layoff thousands to protect shareprice (and their option packages) but then You would think me left of center. Or the use of foreign slaves, to produce our goods at the expense of the American factory worker. Good God ..then I'd be a protectionist.. Reparations...bullshit! does that make me a bigot or racist?
Nah, ......Bad American....SOME good points
bear

 

[ctownguy]

Well said bear.

It's awfully funny that Duncan can't find anymore extreme left wingers, but only has to look at this forum for the right wing ..... typical liberal doublespeak, I'll tell you Duncan where the extreme left wing is now, it's leading the Senate and the elite media, you can see and hear them everyday, espousing the same liberal morality that Clinton had in his 8 years of corruption in the Whitehouse, but knowing your type, you probably condoned that behavior because we had a good economy.

Once again take your redneck white male bigotry and stick it.

 

[billboy]

Originally posted by Duncan:
male, white, redneck middle-aged failures casting around for people to blame at having such disappointing lives...

...we will continue to be able to marginalize the bizarre right-wing militia supremacist types.

...Your pathetic ravings are the perfect testimony to your impotence.

Congratulations, 16 posts and you've already ripped all that off. Your tolerance of viewpoints different then your own is quite staggering.

It's called humor. Perhaps you've never heard of it? Do you really believe that people take every word written in that essay seriously?

Do you believe every person who thinks Cheech and Chong movies are funny, are also drug addicts?

In other words, "Lighten up, Francis." <stripes>

What makes America great, is our ability to tolerate dissenting viewpoints. No where else in the world do Catholics and Protestants, Jews and Arabs, Atheists and Religious people get along so well together.


I do not know how you were raised, but in this country we usually don't start off debates or conversations with, "You pathetic, impotent, redneck middle-aged failure..."

It's a shame, Every time one of you leftwingers says something interesting or worthy of debate - you also have to pollute it with name calling and personal attacks.

What hope is there for reasonable discussion when you start your posts with this kind of flame baiting?




[This message has been edited by billboy (edited 08-20-2001).]

 

[billboy]

Originally posted by surfman101:
Give credit where credit is due, George Carlin wrote that piece. An article I read stated that they where more than just a stage routine, he actually believes in teh entire piece. As a matter of fact, I guess I do too. Color me another George Carlin Bad American!

This link is actually a note from the essay's author
http://www.freerepublic.com/forum/a3b21fbab4b27.htm

 

[Duncan]

Of course, one of the other great things about this country is that we can engage in this kind of navel-gazing.

Billboy, you may understand that Carlin was being ironic, the posters here did not.

Clinton comments were very interesting. I completely agree with you on them, just wanted to check in with you and make sure you felt the same way about Gingrich's personal behaviour, the ethical and moral bankruptcy of Tom Delay, Trent Lott and Orrin Hatch.

The political system is broken. Both parties are totally corrupt, the systems they have created is totally corrupt, and they personally benefit from practices that are not only illegal, but morally and ethically questionable.

We are, as a nation, so rich, fat and complacent, we think all this won't hurt us. I hope we are right!!

We got Clinton because the system gave us Clinton. We are all too disengaged from the political process, and that's what they want!! They don't want us looking too closely at them, because they know what we may find.

 

[JSMOOTH]

Three things to never "argue"...

1. Politics
2. Religion
3. Michigan Football

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Hail to the Victors!!

 

[Duncan]

What about sex??

 

[SixFive]

I agreed with many of the items in the original post though not all of them such as the various heros, liking Dr. Seuss, legalizing fireworks, and a few other things. Duncan, calling me a redneck surely doesn't bother me at all. I'll tell you that I am one, and I'm proud of that Southern heritage. I'd much rather be a redneck than a liberal Pommie wuss! Duncan, do u even know what a redneck is or how the term originated? Probably not. I also do not consider myself a frustrated failure, and I am 20 years short of being middle aged. I also do not blame anyone for any shortcomings that I may have. I am a God fearing individual, and I feel that I have been very blessed. Maybe NPR has a spot for an aspiring liberal writer like yourself

LMAO at the guy who called you a pinko. I haven't heard that word in years.

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It's far better to be LUCKY than good.

 

[Duncan]

SixFive:

I thought 'Pommies' were Aussies, I thought the English were 'limeys'. I could be wrong of course.

So enlighten me, how did the word 'redneck' originate?? Maybe I misused it.

 

[SixFive]

I first heard the word Pommie from one of my Kiwi buddies. Aussies and Kiwis use the word Pommie as a desparaging (sp?) remark towards folks from the "mother country".

My understanding on the term redneck is this. Farmers and working class people in the South worked outside and often times got sunburns. Aristocrats and otherwise wealthy people who did not have to go outside and work did not get sunburns. Being pale in complexion was in. Anyway, the rich people would ridicule and make fun of the workers by noting their sunburns or red necks. Therefore, the origination of the word.

Websters now has 2 definitions:


red?neck (rdnk)
n. Offensive Slang
Used as a disparaging term for a member of the white rural laboring class, especially in the southern United States.

A white person regarded as having a provincial, conservative, often bigoted attitude.

"Rednecks" are not all backward bigots. I think there are different kinds of rednecks out there, good and bad. Good luck, and u certainly are entitled to your views.

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It's far better to be LUCKY than good.