If you were king of the world what rules would you change/enact?

Penguinfan

Penguinfan

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Pretty straightforward. I expect to be offered the position of king of the world sooner than later and I have a lot of good ideas that go into effect day 1.

  1. No fucking semi trucks on the road during rush hour. They are just too damn slow and fuck up traffic for everyone.
  2. No left turns for rush hour either. I'm tired of waiting for the endless line of traffic coming the other way just because you want to turn left. Piss off.
  3. If you block an intersection and the light changes thus screwing everyone trying to go the other way, bullet to the head. I know a fine might seem more appropriate, but these inconsiderate cocks just never learn.
  4. Defense attorneys who defend blatantly guilty pieces of shit and try to get them off on a technicality will now have some skin in the game. You get 1% of your clients sentence if they are found guilty. They get 10 years, you gotta do a month. Choose your clients wisely. No breaks for being assigned their public defender either. Get them to plead guilty or go down with them.
  5. No more Narcan for overdoses. You know the risk when you do heroin and I don't want to hear about it being a disease, nobody's giving cancer patients free chemotherapy, nobody's giving people with diabetes free insulin. Don't overdose would be my advice.
  6. Politicians work for free, athletes get much less, doctors get much more. Drug companies go straight to hell.
  7. Prisoners serving life sentences or on death row are used to test drugs. Stop killing innocent mice.

How about you, what new laws would you bring to the table?
 
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shawn555

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Penguinfan said:
Pretty straightforward. I expect to be offered the position of king of the world sooner than later and I have a lot of good ideas that go into effect day 1.

  1. No fucking semi trucks on the road during rush hour. They are just too damn slow and fuck up traffic for everyone.
  2. No left turns for rush hour either. I'm tired of waiting for the endless line of traffic coming the other way just because you want to turn left. Piss off.
  3. If you block an intersection and the light changes thus screwing everyone trying to go the other way, bullet to the head. I know a fine might seem more appropriate, but these inconsiderate cocks just never learn.
  4. Defense attorneys who defend blatantly guilty pieces of shit and try to get them off on a technicality will now have some skin in the game. You get 1% of your clients sentence if they are found guilty. They get 10 years, you gotta do a month. Choose your clients wisely. No breaks for being assigned their public defender either. Get them to plead guilty or go down with them.
  5. No more Narcan for overdoses. You know the risk when you do heroin and I don't want to hear about it being a disease, nobody's giving cancer patients free chemotherapy, nobody's giving people with diabetes free insulin. Don't overdose would be my advice.
  6. Politicians work for free, athletes get much less, doctors get much more. Drug companies go straight to hell.
  7. Prisoners serving life sentences or on death row are used to test drugs. Stop killing innocent mice.

How about you, what new laws would you bring to the table?
Click to expand...

Jesus Christ.

I live in an area, like everyone else, where heroin has taken a shit ton of my childhood friends. Another one passed away last night so fuck you. I will vote for a different king.
 
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shawn555

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So when someone with cancer flat lines you are not for trying to revive them?

I see no difference in giving someone narcan who is dying or trying to revive someone who is dying from cancer, car accident or any reason at all.

So now we get to pick and choose who gets to live or die, what a wonderful nation we have turned into.
 
Penguinfan

Penguinfan

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shawn555 said:
So when someone with cancer flat lines you are not for trying to revive them?

I see no difference in giving someone narcan who is dying or trying to revive someone who is dying from cancer, car accident or any reason at all.
Click to expand...

Did the person with cancer inject themselves with cancer? Did they choose cancer? I think there is a large difference.


Also, your kinda taking this thread way too serious. I don't think I'm going to be king anytime soon (certainly not without your vote).
 
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shawn555

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Penguinfan said:
Did the person with cancer inject themselves with cancer? Did they choose cancer? I think there is a large difference.


Also, your kinda taking this thread way too serious. I don't think I'm going to be king anytime soon (certainly not without your vote).
Click to expand...

Did the person always have cancer?

Most people don't always do heroin.

Why can't we try to help both people?

I have managed to not become a heroin addict but that does not mean I do not think they should be helped.

Letting someone die because they are not as strong as you are seems like a real dick move.
 
Penguinfan

Penguinfan

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Also, I'm putting an end to the NFL ProBowl. Nobody's watching that shit. In fact, each of the All-Star games goes away. I'll consider leaving the slam dunk contest, cause that's pretty cool sometimes.

NFL teams can no longer charge season ticket holders for pre-season games. GTFO with that nonsense.

No more #1 draft pick for finishing last. European soccer has it right, you finish at the bottom your ass gets relegated to the minors until you finish high enough to get back in the big league, sorry Browns fans.
 
WhatsHisNuts

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#1 Melon would get removed from fruit salad. Sorry, but I won't budge on this one boys.

#2 If you sue someone and lose, you pay the defendant's legal fees plus all other costs incurred while that person or business had to put up with defending themselves against your dumb ass.

#3 It is unlawful to manufacture and sell yoga pants in sizes larger than Medium.

#4 Drugs legalized

#5 If you commit a crime involving a gun you will be put to death by firing squad (with that gun whenever possible)

#6 Prostitution legalized

#7 Fat tax. Specifics TBD

#8 No dependent tax credits

#9 Gambling legalized

#10 Transportation providers can't overbook. Prices will go up, tough shit.

#11 Gasoline taxes will be raised in the US to pay for high speed rail system. At least $1/gallon but probably more. Fuck off in advance. It's too cheap to drive and people are too fucking fat.

#12 Ban on artificial sweeteners and high fructose corn syrup
 
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