Madjacks' America

[Anders]

Anyone who's read Nolan's excerpts of his Stu Ungar book today will know that's going to be a huge success.

Hopefully Madjacks can get two contributors on the "Best Sellers" list one day, through a future book project of mine (carrying the title from the topic heading).

Not sure exactly when, but it's always been my intention to get to North America to explore your weird and wonderful continent. As a kid in NZ, I spent my teenage years immersed in (among other things

) American literature. As I read Steinbeck, Dos Passos, Kerouac, Scott Fitzgerald and later Carver, Wolff, Oates etc, I dreamed of travelling the vast expanses, meeting people, seeing things, trying to capture the sense of magic and mystery that they held for a stranger.

And now I believe I've got a host of characters that no publisher could turn down to write about. Would you want to buy a novel that features Visionary, Gatorbait, djv, 1837, AzRusty, BahamaMama, Fletcher, dawgball, KC Wolf et al...?

So if any of you find, sometime in the near/not too distant future, a lean, laidback Kiwi turn up on your doorstep with a battered notepad and a rental car, are you keen on opening up with your life history and views on everything from childhood, religion, friendship, schooling, taxes, death, sex and whatever else I may try and pry from you?

Hell, might even do some gambling too. Have already lined up a potential "Sal Paradise" companion. Now all I need is a really good line from someone that I can use to break the news to my wife and kids

 

[AzRusty]

You might try...... "See ya later"!

If you ever come to Phoenix we can show you The White Tank Mountains out near where we live on the five acres. Camelback Mtn. close in to downtown, South Mountain...we'll definitely go there during the daytime 'cause that's very close to our version of the "ghetto" altho it's mostly Mexicans (rather than blacks) with guns..

There's of course some really HUGE cacti.. Saguaros 15-20 ft tall and various other ones.. none of which you want to stroll into during the night. One particular nasty one is the jumping cholla which will "nail" you through your jeans. Then the arms break off so you have to figure out SOME way to remove them without getting the dang stickers all in your hands.

Believe it or not it is perfectly legal to drive or walk in public with a firearm strapped to your leg. You are only forbidden from carrying a firearm into a place of business if it is clearly posted at the entrance that you cannot do so. I treat patients all the time.. housewives, construction guys, you name it who park their pistols on a chair while I examine and treat them. I chit you not!

My dad over in Scottsdale has a bobcat that regularly jumps his fence and drinks out of the pool. WE often see coyotes and wild pigs (javalenas). You would also be quite surprised to see the number of New Yorkers we have who were on the way to Niagara Falls, took a wrong turn, and wound up in Phoenix... NEVER to return to Buffalo, Albany or NYC. (I think it's the snow that they miss the most back home).

I have a couple of pictures I want to send you. Need your email... do you still have mine?

Later

AzRusty

 

[redsfann]

By reading those authors you have mentioned here-- among others-- you are miles ahead of the average American in understanding our culture and history.
Sal Paradise, huh? Never heard of him..........

Oh, and bring Keri and the kids along. Jaci will entertain 'em during the year or so we will be "on the road"......

.....and I want to be Lazlo to your HST anyway......

[This message has been edited by redsfann (edited 06-06-2001).]

 

[dawgball]

I can put you and your family up in Atlanta or Biloxi, MS (nice gambling boats). Just let me know when you want to do this, and I will get the rooms set up. I will let you know that the rooms in Biloxi will be on a much higher scale.

Always looking for a wayward traveller. Hope to see you soon.

------------------
Sic 'em
dawgball

 

[Anders]

Rusty - got yer first e-mail no worries; LOL

I wanna go see the Mexicans with guns at nite! Believe me, when I get there, I'm going the whole hog, the whole nine yards, the full monty, no f&*$*#g about pal ....

no point in writing some namby-pamby travelogue from the safety of a cushioned seat on a Greyhound ... me and Redsfann gonna get down and dirty

And we're bringing our pistols!!

Bobcats I'm keen on too; not sure about the wild pigs - dated a few during my varsity days tho ...

dawgball - your generosity is overwhelming. Don't get too organised, I reckon I'll take at least 18 months to get my A into G but believe me I'll get there someday and when I do it's brilliant to know I'll be welcome.

redsfann - pictured you more as Oscar Acosta or maybe even Ralph Steadman

Only problem is if I bring Keri, Niall and Merryn that I fear them and Jaci would be well gone when we got back to Davenport; taken by some sugar daddy with more $$, charm and fake tans than we could muster ...
And hell, who'd want to hang around for two deadbeats like us

Gotta get some of those things Fletch is on at the moment for the long ride too

 

[redsfann]

I can see Oscar Acosta, but not Ralph Stedman. HST picked on 'ol Ralph way too much and he never seemed to be having much fun......

 

[djv]

For my little part of the world. Well we will just go down and sit in one of the 50 bars and watch and learn. Being a college town can have it's highs. Oh ya I have the Mississippi up here to. Way before its all dirty and goes by Redsfann. Not saying im sending him any presents down the river.

 

[SixFive]

Cheers, Anders, and GL on your project.

------------------
It's far better to be LUCKY than good.

 

[scrubbo]

You need to take Anders to a Packers game, djv. Thats what middle america is all about.
No Shrimps on the barbie only Brats. (Is Shrimp on the Barbie only for Australia? If so, we all need a Nz catch phrase from Anders.

 

[djv]

Good idea Badgers and Packers. Tell you what you go to a badger game. You don't have fun. Its your own fault. Dam you can have agood time.

 

[DOGS THAT BARK]

Anders How far is Hamilton from Levin?

 

[redsfann]

djv--

If you can't have fun at Camp Randall, you ain't got a pulse!! Of course, try not to fly the colors of the other team if they pull off a win-- like I did the year I was there for the Iowa-Wisconsin game.....Man, the cheeseheads were pissed!!

 

[Anders]

Packers, most definitely, can't leave without a Lambeau Leap..

Shrimp on the Barbie is definitely an Aussie phrase - in NZ our version of a BBQ is a) must be cooked by male hands with beer in ample supply and little outdoor telly showing sport, b) basically just sausages (although sometimes if you know a guy who knows his way around a kitchen then u may be lucky enough that he brings marinated steak), c) all sausages must be burnt, dropped on the grass, placed in bread and butter and covered with tomato sauce, d) it will taste like crap but you'll have had so many beers by now that you won't notice

DTB - Levin is, at a guess, a 5-hr drive from Hamilton. Haven't driven that way since I moved here 3 years ago. But spent many happy childhood days in the wee town of Levin - which, have to say, doesn't have a lot going for it - as my Grandad and Grandma used to live there. Guessing you're thinking of another NZ capping legend

who lives there; Turtle? I remember someone mentioning him to me a while back when I first joined but I've never got in touch with him..

 

[djv]

Anders, did you like that erectus you get to see at Az place. Now there is a story you can write.

 

[Anders]

djv - man, that was funny

 

[DOGS THAT BARK]

You are correct Anders. Actually got a couple from there,Turtle and Gav, that Six-Five introduced me to last year.Have yet to meet anyone from NZ I didn't like

 

[AussieVamp2]

Anders,

The shrimp thing was invented by advertisers to make Americans spend money. It worked it seems.

As you say, real barbies have beer, sausages, and preferably beer on sausages, and chops, steak, rissoles, etc., if you wanna get fancy.

 

[AussieVamp2]

methinks you are romanticising the USA a tad through said fiction, too

I have lived there for several years

 

[kcwolf]

MR Anders,

Don't forget about me. I'll take time off to show you around anytime. I might even devulge some of my secrets about my gambling life.

See ya my kiwi freind!

kcwolf

 

[JT]

In my town Anders there is a America's Cup syndicate practicing so perhaps you can do a little spying for your Kiwi defenders!