PRENUP ADVICE

[backcracker]

Had meeting with attorney already and he drew up rough draft and want to try to present the prenup to future exwife number three but need to be eased in don't want her to get to defensive and only want to be protected as the wedding is in august and need to not give away any more of what i dont have but enough about that advise on how to present it would be helpful :com:

 

[Clem D]

number 3? why bother what could be left?

My second wife hasn't been born yet

 

[taoist]

My second wife hasn't been born yet

LMAO!!! I always love that line....



...as for advice, I only have a little.... Don't wait until the week of the wedding.... Otherwise, if things go bad, she will say that she was coerced into signing it under duress.... At least present it a month or two in advance. As far as how to approach the subject, I haven't the slightest idea, but let me know how it turns out.... There's no need in both of us making the same mistake. :scared :com:

Best of luck....

 

[mode the lode]

DONT GET MARRIED, NO PRENUP ADVICE NEEDED

 

[bryanz]

if she is a future ex, why marry ? How old are you and how much are you trying to protect ?

 

[Clem D]

if she is a future ex, why marry ?

they are all future ex's

 

[DOGS THAT BARK]

There are 2 things that are as certain as the sun coming up.
The spouse with no assets will be saying "wheres the love" if presented with pre-nup prop and spouse with assets will say the same in event of divorce and NO pre-nup.
If shes uses the ole" why would you marry me if you thought we'd get dv'd" ask her why would it be a concern to you if you thought same?
Was married for 1st time-be two years in April--and no question about yes or no--of course not sure she knew what she was signing
Bottom line --an ounce of prevention is worth pound of cure.
If they won't go for it--you best be asking yourself why?

 

[The Boys]

You might need a postnup...........

You might need a postnup...........

For richer or poorer ... or according to the postnuptial agreement
By Jay MacDonald ? Bankrate.com

A prenuptial agreement between Hollywood's rich and famous often makes headlines, but it has a less glamorous cousin, the postnup. And average Americans are increasingly turning to this post-wedding paperwork to salvage shaky marriages.

What is a postnup? As its name implies, it's any written agreement entered into between spouses after they say "I do." Like the prenup, the primary purpose of a postnuptial agreement is to stipulate ownership and division of financial assets in the event a couple divorces.

A couple might seek a postnup for several reasons:

They didn't define their financial relationship in a prenup.


They want to amend their prenup.


One party's financial circumstances have changed, perhaps through inheritance, promotion, stock options or sale of a business.


Financial insecurity is undermining the marriage.


They want to provide for dependents from prior marriages.


They want to specify the division of their assets rather than leave it up to the divorce laws of their state.

 

[taoist]

...while I agree in theory that a "postnup" is an optional solution, good luck trying to get her to sign that "after" you are married.... If I had the choice, I would go with the prenup and see DOGS THAT BARK's answer herein above.... :iagree:



p.s. Another rim shot for ClemD.... LMAO!!!

 

[MadJack]

will a postnup hold up in court? what are the chances of it not holding up?

 

[MadJack]

to answer the original question; what's so hard about having it signed? i didn't but wish i did (just in case) but what's so hard about agreeing to keep what you bring into the marriage and split what you accumulate during the marriage? unless you want more than 50% should you split, which i don't think is fair on either side. you should split what you aquire during the marriage and nothing else.

 

[taoist]

will a postnup hold up in court? what are the chances of it not holding up?

...depends on several things.... what state (laws are different), what judge (judge's are only human) and how far along in the marriage before you executed it, but it is a legal contract and should be legally binding...barring fraud, duress, etc. then again, we (attorneys) can usually find something to argue about.

 

[taoist]

to answer the original question; what's so hard about having it signed? i didn't but wish i did (just in case) but what's so hard about agreeing to keep what you bring into the marriage and split what you accumulate during the marriage? unless you want more than 50% should you split, which i don't think is fair on either side. you should split what you aquire during the marriage and nothing else.

...although I profess no legal knowledge of other state's laws regarding division of marital property, this is generally the case (at least here)...with or without a prenup/postnup; however, you have several other factors that come into play that a prenup/postnup can rectify.... comingling of separate property into marital property would be just one of those potential sandtraps....

 

[saint]

And we wonder what's wrong with the sarcrament of marriage these days? Maybe it's just my age showing but I guess I feel a pre-nup is not always necessary. Of course I know it's nice to have because one never knows what will happen down the line. My fiance would never sign one. We are getting married in June. She's been with me for almost 6 years before I even though of entering the field I will be going into. She just refuses because to her she only plans on getting married once and will stick it through. Both of us are from families with parents happily married for over 30 years so maybe that's why.

Don't misunderstand me, I've definitely thought about it and we've discussed it but there won't be one in my case.

 

[Blazer]

am I the only one hearing "She give me money" in the background?

I ain't saying she's a golddigger.....

If you ain't no punk say "we want prenup"

Sorry, I really have nothing constructive to add, but I am no less interested. Please keep us updated on how you bring it up.

 

[backcracker]

ok more info married 1st time young one year stupid. second time long 9 years great two kids joint custody, amicable divorce no prenup. now new relationship been going out for 5 years she is late twenties, young, hot calif 10 and great physical relationship, lets me do my own thing when i want with boy nite etc.( i dont realy need much more as i have my career, kids and poker) to keep me interested and stimulated as far as mental. Myself more succesful with high income many properties and such so i feel it is only fair that what i came in with should be mine in the end if (hopefully wont happen) there is a divorce. Her line I cant believe you could be planning our divorce before we even get married. I just state that I need to protect my kids. One thing for sure for me she dont sign I dont walk the plank. And to quote Clem they are all future exes.

 

[BahamaMama]

I have no problem wiht prenups with "IFS" involved with the wording of all of it...

examples: (and i'll use the man as the example of the one with the money, although it could work either direction)

say that a prenup says the wife gets nothing that the husband had prior to the marriage in the prenup... this should be IF he is faithful and non abusive until the end!!

IF she cheats on him and is the one that wants the marriage to end. she shouldn't get anything!

but say the wife has been nothing but faithful and caring, and always a good wife, and the hubby's future wife is just being born..... screw that, there should be an *IF* to cover the not so wealthy party in this case. he decides he wants out for the reason of some young thing, he should have to pay for it dearly!!

i don't know if a standard prenup is normally set with conditions, but it should be. and anyone with widely varied assets or incomes should have one.... (marrying a golddigger for example) but as long as the marriage is for love, the person WANTING out should have to pay. if it's solely irreconciliable differences (no cheating or abuse) then what you brought in, you take out.

 

[amich1]

you HAVE to do it to protect your assets. My adivce for presenting it is that it is all a/b tone & attitude.... something along the lines of "you'll be living high on the hog so long as you don't **** me over". (w/ a tad more tact). The other thing you could do, to soften the blow, is to include something for her if you are the one to screw up in a specific way (like adultery). Your atty may advise against it, but it is a serious way to soften the blow. That way it is presented in a way that shows you don't intend to do anything & you are only protecting yourself from an estrogen blowout down the road!

 

[taoist]

In your situation, I would say that you're just being smart.... If it were a young couple that were on the same footing, then maybe not so much.... But I'd feel the same way if I were you at this point.... You want to marry me and don't plan on leaving and trying to take what I've worked hard for up to this point, then why is a problem for you to sign???

 

[fatdaddycool]

I have a prenup for my future ex wife too and I will certainly ask her to sign it, very short and sweet.

"By signing this document you agree to never ask me to marry you or ever ask me to ask you to marry me, and if said marriage is discussed........please leave".

Signed,
Future girlfriend.