Question for problem drinkers...

[kellyindallas]

Ok, here's the situation. My good friend/co-worker has been on a four day drinking binge. She's missed Friday, Monday and today at work. She was in treatment years ago, and she drinks every now and then but has never had an issue with it in the three years we've been friends. I believe this was triggered by her ex-boyfriend who came over and ripped the phones out and acted like a moron. I have her father calling me (all her family lives out of state) and work is getting tired of excuses. I went and brought her lunch today and checked on her. Found a huge bottle of wine she was drinking and I washed it down the drain. I then took her keys back to work with me.

This person, other than this episode, is a very strong and disciplined person. I am worried that if she doesn't show up at work tomorrow she will be fired (yes, I know alcoholism is covered under the ADA). She threatened to walk to the corner store to get wine and there's nothing i can do about that. Her dad will be calling for an update. If I report to him that she has been drinking, he will come down here and whisk her off to treatment. I do not believe she needs treatment based on one bad episode...

Any advice from those who have been there would be great. Thanks.

 

[Jake DeNiro]

She needs to admit that she has a problem and deal with it. There will always be something to trigger it....always an excuse. I used many of them in the past until I admiitted I had a problem and had to deal with it. As a friend you should do what a good friend would do....tell her the truth. This "one bad episode" can cost her the rest of her life. If she losses her job, that's another "trigger".....the excuses never end.

gl

 

[kellyindallas]

Thanks, Jake. She DOES know she has a problem, that's why she doesn't normally drink. I'm trying to sober her up so she can regain her senses and nothing seems to be working so far. I don't know what else I can do, I can't be there 24/7. If she's determined, she'll walk to get it. The thing is, the moment she sobers up she'll be totally horrified at her behavior. I'm just trying to get her back to that point....

 

[3 Seconds]

Thanks, Jake. She DOES know she has a problem, that's why she doesn't normally drink. I'm trying to sober her up so she can regain her senses and nothing seems to be working so far. I don't know what else I can do, I can't be there 24/7. If she's determined, she'll walk to get it. The thing is, the moment she sobers up she'll be totally horrified at her behavior. I'm just trying to get her back to that point....

Is she hot?

 

[Jake DeNiro]

Thanks, Jake. She DOES know she has a problem, that's why she doesn't normally drink. I'm trying to sober her up so she can regain her senses and nothing seems to be working so far. I don't know what else I can do, I can't be there 24/7. If she's determined, she'll walk to get it. The thing is, the moment she sobers up she'll be totally horrified at her behavior. I'm just trying to get her back to that point....

I was in the same postion as yourself kelly. The guy I was concerned about didn't show up for work, wasn't answering his phone etc. I called Dial-A-Bottle and asked them when was the last time they had delivered to him. They told me, I left him a message saying that if he didn't call me back I was calling the police....I called to tell him I was on my way over only to have a female police officer answer the phone. She had told me "that he wasn't doing to good" I asked if he was dead and she responded with "yes". That was after me telling her how long and how much I tried helping him. Someone had called the super because of the smell and he in turn called the police. I had him on the straight for awhile then "trigger" set in and he was done.....sad. However, seeing the life he was living he's better off now. I want to thank you for your effort and concern and wish you and her the best.

 

[kosar]

Is she hot?

Had to chuckle at that one. Actually, i'd be lying if I said I wasn't wondering the same thing. Some problems *can* be solved with wild, crazy, drunken sex. Just the way it goes and the way it is.

Good luck Kelly.

 

[3 Seconds]

Had to chuckle at that one. Actually, i'd be lying if I wasn't wondering the same thing. Some problems *can* be solved with wild, crazy, drunken sex. Just the way it goes and the way it is.

Good luck Kelly.

Yep...& I have been meaning to get back to Dallas for a while now...so if my services are needed just let me know Kelly.

 

[kellyindallas]

You guys are terrible. More important than her hotness (which, yes, she actually is) is that she is a wonderful, smart, incredible lady. She just met someone wonderful and they completely hit it off. That's what the ex went berserk over. And, no, she isn't the type with drama. This is very out of character for her, that's why if I can just get her back to her senses we'll be ok. If she doesn't stop tonight my male co-worker is going to go there with me in the morning. I've never been around anything like this, now I kind of see how awful it is for those who have this problem. When i took her bottle away and poured it down the drain, she tried to catch me and ended up smacking her face into the wall, cutting her eyelid and giving herself a black eye. I'm hoping when i get there tonight she will be sound asleep...

 

[bear]

KellyinDallas,
Has she ever been in treatment?
Ever been a participating member of AA?
Any friends in AA?
Covered under ADA....but...I believe the individual must notify HR, in advance ...of a disability..???

Sounds like ...Your friend NEEDS HELP!
A visit by police, or a trip to the hospital might just be embarrassing enough or enough of a jolt for temporary sobriety....but she sounds like she is out there again as bad as ever and things may NOT improve on their own

bear

 

[kellyindallas]

Yes, she was in treatment about 7 or 8 years ago. I know she has had a couple drinks here or there, but like I said, she is very disciplined. I have no idea why this time she cannot stop. She used to go to AA but doesn't like the "victim mentality" there. She believes everyone is different and some people are later able to drink in moderation. She'll be the first one to say (once she's sober) she deserved everything that happened to her while in this state. She is an excellent employee and they will be lenient with her, but this cannot go on much longer...

Jake -sorry to hear about your buddy - that is terrible.

 

[hawkeye]

I would suggest help of some kind--treatment that is best for her--this could set her back to the old drinking days

 

[Dr. Fade]

I think we need a picture to really give sound advice on this one......

 

[buddy]

I would try to get her professional care ASAP before she harms herself or someone else.

 

[kellyindallas]

Ok, thanks for the responses. I'm out to go visit her. Hopefully, she is asleep in her bed...

I'll update tomorrow.

 

[The Sponge]

Yes, she was in treatment about 7 or 8 years ago. I know she has had a couple drinks here or there, but like I said, she is very disciplined. I have no idea why this time she cannot stop. She used to go to AA but doesn't like the "victim mentality" there. She believes everyone is different and some people are later able to drink in moderation. She'll be the first one to say (once she's sober) she deserved everything that happened to her while in this state. She is an excellent employee and they will be lenient with her, but this cannot go on much longer...

Jake -sorry to hear about your buddy - that is terrible.

I hate to say this but don't turn into an enabler. She has to hit rock bottom and that is the bottom line. I went thru this whole scenario with a boss of mine and it is not fun. Lying for him, sticking him in a closet on the job, acting like im the boss it was just awful. Just getting up in the morning and seeing him loaded at 7 a.m was a wonderful start of the day. She is better off losing her job. Maybe it will wake her up. I finally ratted him out to save his life. Not to the company but to an acquaintance. I would tell her father its your only choice. Let him try to wake her up because your life is about to get miserable. She will probably thank you down the road but get ready for a pissed off friend.

 

[3 Seconds]

I think we need a picture to really give sound advice on this one......

:iagree:

 

[The Sponge]

Yep...& I have been meaning to get back to Dallas for a while now...so if my services are needed just let me know Kelly.

i thought you were married you sneaky prick.:nono: I knew it was you who wanted to bang that bartender.

 

[kellyindallas]

Trust me, just even these last few days have been very difficult. Tomorrow is her last chance. If she doesn't make it to work, that's it. Her father will be called, and he'll come down and pick up the pieces. The problem is, you can't talk rationally to someone in her position. I will not enable her, I'm not that type. Don't have the patience for it and I know in her stable mind she wouldn't want me to. She has not answered, so I'm off to see what the deal is. She was livid when I left that I wouldn't go get her another "small" bottle. I'm just sad, I never thought she'd truly get to this point. Her life is wonderful - she's beatiful, smart, has a wonderful family - there's just no reason for it...anyway, thanks all who responded.

 

[bear]

Kelly,
'Victim Mentality" from what I know of AA ...the opposite is the norm..taking responsibility and making amends are part of the idea.

Some can be disciplined but your friend is NOT one of them and a few drinks now and again leads to where she is now.

I agree to let her dad know...and that she needs professional help ASAP before things get REALLY NASTY

bear

 

[The Sponge]

Trust me, just even these last few days have been very difficult. Tomorrow is her last chance. If she doesn't make it to work, that's it. Her father will be called, and he'll come down and pick up the pieces. The problem is, you can't talk rationally to someone in her position. I will not enable her, I'm not that type. Don't have the patience for it and I know in her stable mind she wouldn't want me to. She has not answered, so I'm off to see what the deal is. She was livid when I left that I wouldn't go get her another "small" bottle. I'm just sad, I never thought she'd truly get to this point. Her life is wonderful - she's beatiful, smart, has a wonderful family - there's just no reason for it...anyway, thanks all who responded.

Good luck kiddo cause you are gonna need it.