Step son tells you to shut up?

[Betone]

I have a 12 yr old step son that after taking him and his friend with my wife to Kobe's japanese steak house out to dinner. We sit down to watch tv and I made a comment concerning the show we were watching and the kid says.......SHUT UP? I lost it, went out and drove my car for a while so I would not say something crazy to the kid. Am I wrong for being so pissed off for that comment? I just never let my kids ever tell me as an adult to Shut up:shrug:
Forensic files............I was stating whom I thought the criminal would be...........am I wrong for being this fricken pissed:shrug: My parents would have sent me to my room or stuck a sock in my fricken mouth.

 

[dunclock]

I woulda got a back hand or ass whoopin....and now as an adult I cannot say I didnt deserve any of em....think that is the problem these days...no respect for parents:shrug:

 

[The Joker]

Here's the thing......if you marry a woman and she has a 12 year old kid and she expects you to NOT be a father and NOT be involved in any form of discipline.....then that relationship between you and the kid will always be forever BULLSHIT.

If this isn't your situation and you can bring down hell on this kid-do what you think is right. I can only hope that you aren't being asked by his mother to - stay out of it "let me handle it"

I have no clue if this helps or not. Drinking bud heavy from cans and dishing out parental advice when I have no kids. I do have experience being the kid though at one time.

 

[nickmdet]

Kids now are very disrespectful. I can't tell you how hard it was as a high school coach to deal with that shit. I've seen some seriously evil shits in the E.R. too.

I would probably make it a point that he is not to speak like that, have you wife back you up and know the situation before it goes down. This way you are not just blowing up and causing a real big issue. It also may come out that he didn't realize this was bad...so you can correct him.

I don't have kids so take my advice for what it's worth. I did however always get stuck with the trouble makers as a coach and earned a lot of respect from them by addressing these situations and basically laying down the law. This way if it happened again then I could blow up and they knew I wasn't messing around.

 

[Betone]

That is the problem, his dad thinks it ok to say shut up? I would have been knocked half way across a room for telling my parents to shut up. I have been nothing but respectful to the kid for over two years:shrug:

 

[nickmdet]

See, so he knows it's ok with his dad. I would point it out to him that it is not ok with you....and in your opinion it is not right in general.

 

[Nole]

I woulda got a back hand or ass whoopin....and now as an adult I cannot say I didnt deserve any of em....think that is the problem these days...no respect for parents:shrug:

Yep! Dead on!

 

[Mjolnir]

Feel for ya. I am not a parent, so I really can't give you any real advice.
Buuuuuuuut, I have dated many single moms. I would ask the mom what she thinks is appropriate and go from there. If she thinks it's ok for him to act like that then run the other way asap. It's only gonna get worse.
I'm curious as to what her reaction was when he said that.
I grew up in the South many moons ago. I would have been corrected instantly from any number of people.
Good luck !
:0074

 

[Betone]

yes, I do not accept a child or an adult saying shut up to anyone. That is so disrepectful to anyone. He used to say that to his mom when he first moved in here. I corrected that immediately as i told him I would not tolerate him talking down to his mother. This just came back up, now his dad is consoleing him on his cell phone:shrug: How the hell do you deal with that?

 

[dunclock]

whoop his dads ass:0074

just kidding as I know this is a VERY touchy subject and prolly has something with me not marrying someone with kids....you just do not have the parental controls of your own kid...best of luck bud!

 

[dunclock]

and I have always thought that "SHUT UP" is the rudest thing that you can say...even worse than cursing someone:shrug:

 

[nickmdet]

consoling him for what? Are you cool with the dad or is he the typical prick?

 

[nickmdet]

I do think you and your wife need to be on the same page here, so if you haven't voiced your concern about this topic with her I definitely would do that asap

 

[Old School]

bite your lip and take the steps necessary to find educators who deal with this everyday..

Coming from a broken home and having to accept a step-father at ten years old is still til this day one of the tuffest adjustments I have every made in 60 +years.

Step-back..exhale..you are a smart and caring man..now be even smarter and have professionals in the area show you the way to make him a better young man and you the apple of everyone concerned..

you can thank me later..

12 going 20..

and more peer pressure and confusion in his life than you or I can even imagine ..


you can do this..

 

[Old School]

and make sure your wife is in the know and patisipating every step along the way.

 

[nickmdet]

well said old school

 

[Mjolnir]

bite your lip and take the steps necessary to find educators who deal with this everyday..

Coming from a broken home and having to accept a step-father at ten years old is still til this day one of the tuffest adjustments I have every made in 60 +years.

Step-back..exhale..you are a smart and caring man..now be even smarter and have professionals in the area show you the way to make him a better young man and you the apple of everyone concerned..

you can thank me later..

12 going 20..

and more peer pressure and confusion in his life than you or I can even imagine ..


you can do this..

Ignore what I say and respect his words...
good stuff.

 

[dunclock]

bite your lip and take the steps necessary to find educators who deal with this everyday..

Coming from a broken home and having to accept a step-father at ten years old is still til this day one of the tuffest adjustments I have every made in 60 +years.

Step-back..exhale..you are a smart and caring man..now be even smarter and have professionals in the area show you the way to make him a better young man and you the apple of everyone concerned..

you can thank me later..

12 going 20..

and more peer pressure and confusion in his life than you or I can even imagine ..


you can do this..

I agree with you OS on the part of different world now....what did we have when we grew up? There were no cell phones, no video games, less "worldly" knowledge than today.... but we learned to entertain ourselves... had respect for our parents and the ones that didnt usually ended up the ones getting into more serious trouble...guess I am too much like your name cause I am still "old school"...but best of luck Betone and hope things work better your way:0074

 

[homedog]

Tough situation if you and your wife aren't on the same page. It is hard enough when the kid is a product or you and your wife.

Good luck.

 

[gardenweasel]

i won`t even presume to try and tell you how to deal with a disrespectful step-son and a wife that isn`t much help dealing with the situation...never been in your shoes......

but i do know that a 12 year old that disrespects his father(step-father/authority figure...whatever) is something that can`t continue in YOUR house....


i wish you g.l....something tells me you`re gonna need it...