Step son tells you to shut up?

[LetsMakeMoney]

take him for a ride and hav a talk with him. Explain to him thats not cool and if it keeps up,it's just going to be a unhealthy relationship between the both of you from here on out. I was in a similar situation with my step kids,tried to be a good father figure but the teenagers just didn't wanna follow the rules.....Had a talk with my wife and told her i give them a week to shape up,they didn't and are staying with their aunts now opcorn2 Gotta put ur foot down at some point or it's only going to get worse

 

[the addict]

worked with children past 5 years .

i have seen/heard some of the most disrespectful things in my life while working in homes of families who request/are required too have services.

last week cops showed up cause father and son were beating the shit out of eachother while i was there. had to seperate them numerous times and couldnt get them to seperate rooms.

not much i can say really cause it honestly is different with every specific case. From reading posts on here, you seem like a good level headed person. Honestly, the first thing you should do is make sure you and your wife are on the same page. Tht is the most important thing to maintaining a healthy and functional household IMO. From my experiences, any particular kid will react and handle things absolutley different from the next. Just do your best to try and find a solution that works for your family.

could be something as simple as house meetings allowing everyone to share their thoughts and opinions on things. Expressing your thoughts as opposed too keeping them locked inside benefits everyone in the household IMO.

I work for a agency who works with children in the home, community, and in school.

Some things our agency offers are:

Mobile Therapy work with children (thats what I do)

TSS work with children (wrap around)

Groups with children who share similar situations.

Community events for children who lack social skills


I dont know the extremes of your step-son to even know if any of those options would be appropriate. Does he constantly disrespect adults like he did with you?

Are social skills something he lacks with all age groups?

Does he struglle expressing his feelings in ways that are acceptable to most people?

I am not sure about other states, but like old school said above, there are some great options out there that allow professionals a opportunity to work with children and try too help them learn acceptable social skills and behaviors.

I have worked with a lot of children who really benefited from services. I have also worked with children who absolutley could care less and are just wasting a lot of time and money.

If the situation calls for it, and your stepson has outbursts like he did in the example above, I would say see what options are out there man. If it isnt as severe as what im thinking, then try to find a good healthy solution amongst your family.

GL too ya man hope you figure something out sooner then later. Earlier you can work with a child on stuff the better.


Keep us posted:toast:

 

[the addict]

and btw, sweet pics from championship game man. glad ya got too see your squad get it done live!!!:toast:

 

[THE KOD]

Shut up:shrug:
Forensic files............I was stating whom I thought the criminal would be...........am I wrong for being this fricken pissed:shrug:

......................................................................

Betone

good advise for the most part on handling this
12 year old but they are missing the point.

What was the reason he said Shut Up.

You were sitting down to watch a show maybe his favorite who knows.

It comes on and before the shit even starts you are outing who you think the criminal is. You were taking away the suspense of the show.

Uh hate to tell you but if I had been sitting there I would have told you to stfu.

Some ppl just spoil good family TV time.

So it is appropriate for you to go to him and say this.

Listen son I am sorry I got so pissed off about watching the show the other night. I should not have outed the criminal when others were trying to enjoy the show , and me being the know it all I can be.

I wont do that again and you promise not to tell me to shut up anymore.

Parent and son hug.

When she hears how you solved this, wife summons you for a early bedtime.

It seems simple enough.

 

[gardenweasel]

......................................................................

Betone

good advise for the most part on handling this
12 year old but they are missing the point.

What was the reason he said Shut Up.

You were sitting down to watch a show maybe his favorite who knows.

It comes on and before the shit even starts you are outing who you think the criminal is. You were taking away the suspense of the show.

Uh hate to tell you but if I had been sitting there I would have told you to stfu.

Some ppl just spoil good family TV time.

So it is appropriate for you to go to him and say this.

Listen son I am sorry I got so pissed off about watching the show the other night. I should not have outed the criminal when others were trying to enjoy the show , and me being the know it all I can be.

I wont do that again and you promise not to tell me to shut up anymore.

Parent and son hug.

When she hears how you solved this, wife summons you for a early bedtime.

It seems simple enough.

i can`t think of a reason why a 12 year old child would tell his adult parent to "shut up"....maybe sometimes kids need parents...and not another "buddy"...

 

[Sportsaholic]

i can`t think of a reason why a 12 year old child would tell his adult parent to "shut up"....maybe sometimes kids need parents...and not another "buddy"...

It would only happen once on "Our House" :0003

 

[Lemonwedger]

Well your wife should have got up and pounded him into the ground since its "her" kid. That disrespectful fuck wouldn't last two seconds in my house.:00hour

No Seriously.... It's tough since it's not your kid. But in that situation your wife should let you discipline him because if you don't he'll keep WALKING all over YOU.....

 

[ppabart]

What was the tone of this "shut up?" Kids sometimes say shut up in a slang kinda way...not really meaning SHUT UP as in shut your fucking mouth. Was it said like...."shut up" meaning...."get the fuck outta here?" Not saying that makes it any better....but I'm just trying to understand the tone.

 

[Betone]

I told him not to tell me to shut up and he repeated it several times. He and I went for a walk this morning and I asked him why he said Shut up? He said that he heard my wife and I talking and could not hear the program?
I told him that I respect him and that he is a good kid, and that I demand respect from him for his mother and I as Mom and Step dad. He apologized and I gave the kid a hug.
I also explained that there is always a better way to get your point across, like...........Hey guys, I can not hear? or please, I can not hear ....ect..
All is Good.......:0008

My kids are older and out of the home, I will continue to bite my lip, yet......Respect seems to be a lost factor in child hood development these days..... Thanks to all for your imput:toast:

 

[CryBoy]

He and I went for a walk this morning

Now that wasn't so bad.

 

[Woodson]

edit.

 

[Woodson]

I told him not to tell me to shut up and he repeated it several times. He and I went for a walk this morning and I asked him why he said Shut up? He said that he heard my wife and I talking and could not hear the program?
I told him that I respect him and that he is a good kid, and that I demand respect from him for his mother and I as Mom and Step dad. He apologized and I gave the kid a hug.
I also explained that there is always a better way to get your point across, like...........Hey guys, I can not hear? or please, I can not hear ....ect..
All is Good.......:0008

My kids are older and out of the home, I will continue to bite my lip, yet......Respect seems to be a lost factor in child hood development these days..... Thanks to all for your imput:toast:

 

[The Sponge]

u need to get urself a bottle of Ritalin. That is how they handle kids nowadays. My Ritalin was my fathers foot in my ass. that seem to work just fine for my dad and kept me drug free.

 

[Old School]

u need to get urself a bottle of Ritalin. That is how they handle kids nowadays. My Ritalin was my fathers foot in my ass. that seem to work just fine for my dad and kept me drug free.

you just can't do that anymore w/out opening yourself up for legal action from authority..

have watched my neighboors go thru this for the last 15 years ..

physical action will just lead to the youth of today seeking their recourse..

They have web sites and group meetings throughtout their cliches on how to get their way and use the police to see that the get it..

These children now have mass communication that far excedes anything ever before.

Parents today MUST work from a mutual respect point of view from birth..

The days of watching mommy and daddy doing the right thing and the child following in line are GONE..

You must command respect from the very beginning via communication and action.

The days of the back-hand for disrespecting mom at the dinner table are buried under a pile of letigation and law changes to make a parents life the absolutes pits..

The cross section of young people in public schools now is bigger than even..

The bulling and strong-arm by older kids is at an all time high in these public schhols.This leads to reactions at home and in the social circles..

I don't know how many of you live only blocks from the Jr. and Senior High Schools in your neigborhood but I do..

I see these children almost everyday over the last 15 years..The behavior and outright rudeness from a large portion of the children is startling..and every year the conversations one can hear on the street corners is more alarming..10 years olds talking like drunkening trash ..

Stop look and listen...

 

[Woodson]

you just can't do that anymore w/out opening yourself up for legal action from authority..

have watched my neighboors go thru this for the last 15 years ..

physical action will just lead to the youth of today seeking their recourse..

They have web sites and group meetings throughtout their cliches on how to get their way and use the police to see that the get it..

These children now have mass communication that far excedes anything ever before.

Parents today MUST work from a mutual respect point of view from birth..

The days of watching mommy and daddy doing the right thing and the child following in line are GONE..

You must command respect from the very beginning via communication and action.

The days of the back-hand for disrespecting mom at the dinner table are buried under a pile of letigation and law changes to make a parents life the absolutes pits..

The cross section of young people in public schools now is bigger than even..

The bulling and strong-arm by older kids is at an all time high in these public schhols.This leads to reactions at home and in the social circles..

I don't know how many of you live only blocks from the Jr. and Senior High Schools in your neigborhood but I do..

I see these children almost everyday over the last 15 years..The behavior and outright rudeness from a large portion of the children is startling..and every year the conversations one can hear on the street corners is more alarming..10 years olds talking like drunkening trash ..

Stop look and listen...

Completely disagree with most of what you say in this thread.

 

[Chadman]

I told him not to tell me to shut up and he repeated it several times. He and I went for a walk this morning and I asked him why he said Shut up? He said that he heard my wife and I talking and could not hear the program?
I told him that I respect him and that he is a good kid, and that I demand respect from him for his mother and I as Mom and Step dad. He apologized and I gave the kid a hug.
I also explained that there is always a better way to get your point across, like...........Hey guys, I can not hear? or please, I can not hear ....ect..
All is Good.......:0008

My kids are older and out of the home, I will continue to bite my lip, yet......Respect seems to be a lost factor in child hood development these days..... Thanks to all for your imput:toast:

This is terrific. I have been a part of several step-children scenarios personally, and still am. Looks like you came through this wonderfully, and happy for you - and the kid. These moments bond you now and in the future, and I'm sure he has much more respect for you now. And, probably you for him. You both deserve respect, IMO. Now you have something solid to build on - and expect - from each other. It's great that you care and took the time to gain perspective. He's a lucky stepson. :0074

 

[zig]

It sounds like you handled this very nicely. It's not always an easy thing to do. :0074

 

[Sportsaholic]

It sounds like you handled this very nicely. It's not always an easy thing to do. :0074

:0074 Now the kid knows where he stands & will know to watch his step & respect :0008

 

[Betone]

Thanks Guys, I try and understand that the kid has two different standards from his father's home and our home. It takes almost a week to reprogram his thoughts once he visits the other home. I do not say negative things about his other home and what his dad allows. I bite my lip as it would be counter productive and cause a big problem. Instead, I taught him to play golf, which he loves to do.... Try and do positive things to off set the negatives as his dad does very little with him. Old School is on point.............. is a different world parenting today as it used to be. Is a heck of a lot more challenging, God bless the 30 yr olds out there whom have just started:0074

 

[gardenweasel]

glad it worked out for you.....well done...:toast: