The next morning

[Woodson]

...

I woke up without pants wearing a ski mask...



:scared



Does anyone know what happened last night?

Phenom did we meet at the tail gate?

 

[IE]

saw some huge guy sitting beside you smoking a cigarette.....???

 

[Woodson]

He wasn't that big... :shrug: smelled like peppermint...

 

[Woodson]

My buddy just texted me saying he woke up in a bathtub with a Santa hat in his pocket...

There were 6 of us.... I'm wondering how the other 4 made out... :0corn

 

[Morris]

Pictures? :0corn

 

[Woodson]

Text: You were wearing a ski mask?!?! Woke up at the foot of my bed with wife over me asking if I was ready for Church...

Asked her to pray for me...

 

[Woodson]

Buddy 3 text:

Saw you getting kicked out of bar about 1:30... How many stairs did you headbutt on your way out... at 2:15 I was getting kicked out and you were waving from inside bar... What are you a magician?

 

[Woodson]

My wife took my wedding ring and said I can have it back when I behave...


...




.....


Will this hold up in court if say I misbehave? :shrug:

 

[Woodson]

Buddy 4:

Met a '10' last night... she was ready and willing... at the last minute when leaving bar, someone came up and congratulated me on the engagement... 10 walked away..


Me: Welcome to marriage.

 

[Woodson]

New Orleans buddy in town for game:

RTR! Man, did you make it home? We're at the bar watching Saints? Are you coming? You PLANNED this!

ME: When is the last time you saw me...

Buddy: When you ran into a bar to dance...

ME: Dance?

Buddy: I can't make this shi$ up...

ME: Was I good?

Buddy: What do you think?

ME: Lunch tomorrow?

Buddy: I pick the place...

ME: We're eating at a strip club again aren't we...

Buddy: See you there! :mj07:

 

[JOSHNAUDI]

When the ordinary becomes legendary

Congrats on staying out of the pokey

 

[Woodson]

Yeah... jails are not fun... I may tell that story today in a bit...

Here's my favorite so far:

Buddy:Man, sorry about my dog eating your pack of cigarettes...

ME: I was wondering why I have a blazer pocket full of filters...

Buddy: Yeah, he's an unfiltered kind of guy.

ME: I remember getting licked on the face... That make sense...

Buddy: Hilarious! That wasn't my dog!!!!

 

[Woodson]

Buddy: So much for the playoffs! You started Deangelo Williams. Haha!

ME: Your wife is a drunk.

 

[Woodson]

Buddy 3 text:

Saw you getting kicked out of bar about 1:30... How many stairs did you headbutt on your way out... at 2:15 I was getting kicked out and you were waving from inside bar... What are you a magician?

:mj07: :mj07: :mj07:

 

[Woodson]

Buddy: PROFFESOR! lol!

ME: What did I do this time?

Awaiting response...

 

[Woodson]

Buddy: Have you ever apologized to a hook-up as you were driving her home. Assuring her the sex is better when you haven't had 6 Vegas bombs? welcome to my afternoon.

Me: Are you going to wait 3 days and hope she answers your call or just go ahead and write her off?

Buddy: Thanks for the vote of confidence... you're a true friend...

Me: it be different if you had a 11 inch cock...... ... you don't do you? ... .... ....

Me: don't answer that... at leasr you got laid... I found my jacket on my mailbox and my pants on the porch...

 

[Woodson]

at leasr you got laid... I found my jacket on my mailbox and my pants on the porch...

Nothing like coming home drunk and naked to entice the wife, lol....

 

[JOSHNAUDI]

Nothing like coming home drunk and naked to entice the wife, lol....

I like to use the line

Take one for the team

when I slide into bed

 

[Woodson]

Just bumped into my wife in the hall way... Told her thanks for the fore play. She said i smelled like a hobo...

I may be wrong but I think she's flirting with me...

 

[Woodson]

I like to use the line

Take one for the team

when I slide into bed

:mj07: