What to Do?

[Bluemound Freak]

You know something, I have been in and out of relationships with the forementioned chick for some three years now! I do believe what you have described as a buddy fits this particular one like a glove! While she and I have "Dated" we also use each other as a means to releive stress while we are dating others too! Her last boyfriend she had was unsuspecting of her and he should have been more cautious. She would go out to dinner and a movie with him and then come spend the night with me, this went on for months!!!! I guess I really have had it made for some time and just did'nt realize it. The emotional attachment is just somehting that you get sucked into and have to train your psyche to never allow an attachment to take place with a tramp like her! But Damn She's Fine !

Well it's of to Tuscaloosa Alabama this evening for some restitution, if you know what I mean! unsupecting little college girls are going up against me and my bookie and another buddy. Seasoned Veterans i might add, Might even try a little Pride hunting on a chick pack!!!

 

[ryson]

Her last boyfriend she had was unsuspecting of her and he should have been more cautious. She would go out to dinner and a movie with him and then come spend the night with me, this went on for months!!!!

Just a question Blue, what makes you think she wasn't doing the same stuff to you?:shrug:

 

[Bluemound Freak]

Probably was but she really didn't have time to be going over to anyones house after our dates because she never left my house! For days and days:brows:

And even if she did, Now I could give two shats because from this day forward she will only be a nice little "night deposit BOX"! Worthless as tits on a boar hog in my book for any kind of serious devotion of time! So like Monk stated earlier, just a Fuhk Buddy!
But that's not all bad is it!:shrug: Best of both worlds: Sports when its available and a little tail when its off work!!!!!

 

[ryson]

But that's not all bad is it!:shrug: Best of both worlds: Sports when its available and a little tail when its off work!!!!!

Hell naw that ain't bad, I hear ya brother, hope it all works out Like the old saying goes "you can't turn a ho into a housewife":shrug:

 

[DNOMYAR_5791]

I think that it is obvious that she is trying to see if you get jealous or how much you care or if you are a psycho if she made it a point to tell you about the guy she is going to lunch with.

Random thoughts: If you throw her Pus*y up in the air and it does not eminate sunshine---who cares. She is a dime a dozen.

Get what you can out of her. Like some other guys suggested
"phuck buddy". If she wants to keep her options open, then obviously you are still an option. Dont' burn the bridge, just don't make it as accessible.

Find yourself some more friends with extra special privleges.

Stock up on the super slip jack-off lotion. You never have to talk to the hand when you are done or take it out to dinner. Schitt it will even wipe your ass for you.

Fatchicks are always an option.

Do not be seen watching Leonardo DiCaprio movies or Moulin Rouge alone in public.

Miss Cleo is not as good as she says she is...

 

[bigbagrat]

Blue and Monk:

Fellas, this is the funniest (and most informing) thread I have read in a long time. Things have really changed since I was trolling. Then, it was alcohol or drugs or both and you were set. I'm sure I'm not the only one laughing and living vicariously through you two.......

....and I 'm glad my daughter got married before she ran into either of you.................

 

[Bluemound Freak]

Backwards Ray!

Backwards Ray!

Hey there Backwards Ray, You hit a home run with that little fatchick statement! Buddy let me tell you a little something about a girl I bunked with on occasion when I lived in Colorado.

This girl was a friend of my boss' fiance', well they were roomates in college and followed each other to Colorado to find a Ski bum to nestle in with! Well I got to going down to the pub and having a drink every now and again with my boss and his old lady! About the third time I went she came in, when I say she I mean all of her! Beautiful girl from the waist up, nice big plump all the adjectives come to mind. Well I got to talking to her and making small talk over 6 or 12 drinks and she started spilling the beans and teling me about her ex boyfriend and how he mistreated her. Cha Ching, whenever you can get a girl to start talking about past relationships it's on to the break of dawn, all it takes is one little story about how that little Beeatch you used to date did you dirty and you might as well have walked into this conversation with your Jimmy already wrapped!!! So she goes on and tells me all about it and naturally I told my little story( yeah Right). The next thing I know she invites me back to her place. Now I'm getting played like a bad hand of cards. SO being the gentleman I am I drive her home. I don't know if it was because I was housed or if it was that she was hammered as well but she put one on me like there was no tommorow! I was that abused cuddler after about three hours with the likes of this tush hound! But ever since that evening I have never been one to judge a book by how thick its cover is, you know?

I think this exotic sex that usually gets hammered out by fat, well I won't say fat because she was not huge just had a big old booty, is a product of not ever being able to freely hand out that stuff! It's kind of like if you haven't hit a bet in some time and your on that downward spiral, well we all know how it feels to hit that Foru team Parlay, the same goes with fatchicks and sex. You know the old saying about a moped and fat chicks and your friends, well to hell with that! Bigger women are fun to be with, they just aint that easy on the eyes to most folks! I myself am turned away by big saddle bags but ain't lookin to buy just test drive the SUV's.

If any of you guys have been there, and don't lie you know you've done it, give a little feedback on what you think makes bigger women such good slices of pie!

 

[yyz]

What are you guys, a bunch of Maxim subscribers?

I got news for ya..........those woman tell the same stories about how they bagged your asses with bullshit lines and what not!

(You wonder why she didn't make you wear a rubber? She already has everything known to science in that "petri dish" she calls a snatch!)

"I'm gonna' need some pliers, and a set of 30 weight ball bearings (it's all ball bearing nowadays) And I'm gonna' need about 10 quarts of antifreeze, preferably Prestone. No, make that Quaker State."

 

[Bluemound Freak]

Not folowing ya on the Rubber thing and the Parts list

But as far as them, they gotta talk about things too. I hope they tell everyone about the time that they bagged me and hope there are more of them out there that are needing a good story to tell tommorow.

And that petri dish thing, that's pretty funny But as far as I'm concerned having sex with everything that walks crawls and flies is just as much a part of my life as wearing condoms and practicing safe sex! Ain't no Punnanny worth taking a trip to the doctor or even worse the Morgue:nono:

So everyone listen up I'm sure that the monkster and I are amusing You with these little stories but here is my public service announcement for the day!

If your gonna hump, cover your stump! No Matter who it is! The cutest most innocent looking little heifer out there probably has been abused more than that slutty ass looking one you wouldn't have sex with if she brought it over and paid you to do it!

This aint no laughing matter. You take your life as serious as I do, you won't be playing Russian Roulette with a thing like STD's or unwanted Pregnancies. I'm Catholic Italian and don't believe in the old A word. So just enjoy the stories and have a laugh! If you get offended all I can say is sorry bout that and press on.

 

[Felonious Monk]

Re Fat Chicks

Re Fat Chicks

You mean the kind of chick you have to roll in flour just to find the....oh nevermind.

I'm usually bound by the "code" and can not discuss this particular topic but since I'm a little older now and I'm simply reliving the good old days, then I guess I can chip in here.

Disclaimer: This story is not recommended for the faint at heart or any other softy who might be reading this. [cough]yyz[/cough]

I have to admit... I did it once. She started out actually pretty thin, but as the night went on, and I sobered up a bit, she started getting bigger. Atleast I had more beer to keep her weight down.

So anyways, I decided to take her junkyard dog style. Her ass looked like the back end of a Buick. I planned on a standard back spray coupled with a rollover from her so I could rub out the rest on and between her watermelon teets. But I notice her thighs are so fat it looks like they're getting squeezed by a vice. So I slid my hand between them and it was very tight and wet with her sweat. Hmmm. That's when I pulled out the hog and crammed it in there. It felt like virgin clam and I blew my nut in seconds. Thanks, big 'un!

By the next morning, she was gargantuan. I walked out of my room and my roommate was sitting on the couch playing video games. He just smiled at me. I went in the kitchen to get some food, and my other roommate walks in. We make eye contact and he just starts cracking up. This sets my other roommate off, and they both are laughing so hard they have tears in their eyes. At my expense, of course. All this while fat chick is still in my bed.

A word about the "code." You are only bound to silence if your buddy does it with a fat chick. And then, only if he does while falling on the grenade in the duty of a wingman. If he does it of his own accord, then feel free to bring it up as often as possible.

That's my story. Anyone else?

 

[Felonious Monk]

Getting out of sticky situations and other scenarios.....

Getting out of sticky situations and other scenarios.....

Like yyz mentioned earlier:

I got news for ya..........those woman tell the same stories about how they bagged your asses with bullshit lines and what not!

I'm not so sure why he was so quick to defend them or if he was simply offended but I really don't think anyone in here reading this believes that we completely fooled anyone. It's kind of like a game where everyone knows what's up, but you can't let them know that you know that they know what is up or the game is over. It was a lot easier and more fruitful to just play by the rules and do the dance than try the old "so hey let's go back to my place and do it". Hey, we were just drunken testosterone-laden youngsters following the rules that were in place. And thanks Jack for at least keeping the thread open- I have not laughed this hard in years.

So anyways, back to the topic at hand. When she says "are you just using me for sex?" DON'T feed her bs. Always go with, "uhhhh, yes. And some damn good sex at that". These rules need to be established as soon as possible.

This is probably for the younger or soon to be night crawlers. SMS messaging. Text messages sent over your mobile phone. The mobile phone penatration rate in the states still lags far behind Europe, but this is changing. SMS is another version of setting traps. Girls love this stuff. SMS works much better than drunken dialing. This way you don't have to talk to them if they're not interested in a shag. They simply won't respond.

Sometimes you might have fuhk buddies that live further away than others. If it is 3 a.m. and your blood alcohol level is about .27, you've got to figure a way to get down there or better yet, talk her into getting up to your pad. Now that I'm a little older and wiser, I realize it is just too dangerous to have a fuhk buddy that lives any further than a cheap cab ride, or better yet, stumbling distance, from your pad.

My favorite long-distance fuhk buddy was really cool about the setup but surprisingly territorial. She point blank told me that she did not give a rat's ass what or who I did in Austin, but when I was in San Marcos I could only be with her. Not sure what her reasoning was but I went along. I ask this distinguished panel of experts, was she still an FB, or did she become something else? Please note that no money was spent, other than on gas and long distance warning calls.

OK I think we need more contributions from everyone else. I can keep going here, but is anyone reading this?

 

[Bluemound Freak]

Just Woke in Tuscaloosa Alabama and am pretty clueless as to why the hell I did to myself what I did last night! WOW! Friends that are in Law school down here like to party more than I remeber! I think they are trying to learn how to break the Law!

I'll get back to this thread when the Fog Lifts, but yeah I'm Reading!

 

[Bama6895]

DAMN,

That really makes me mad. Shoot me an email and tell me who you went out with. I am in law school so I probably know some of the people you went out with.

I too got messed up last night. I took some cough syrup that has codene in it and that stuff knocked me for a loop. It was about time I could finally go to sleep.

Send me an email though Bluemond.

 

[Bluemound Freak]

YYZ, Finally got that joke about the ball bearings and Anti- freeze.

Woke up to the Joyous movie Fletch on TV this morning! Damn that's Funny. Gotta Get back to the tube and watch Pitt do some damage! yours truyly, Dr. John Cocktosenfree.

 

[Bluemound Freak]

Guy's I had one of those weird experiences last night that really does not fit any of the past posts but it is in itself a hybrid of these girls.

The annoying Date with a Good little girl

I got hoked up on a blind date with this little chick, and let me tell you I should of been deaf and not blind for this date! I have ran across some strange birds in my day but none quite so loud! How do you remain interested in a date when the whole time you are thinking damn will you just shut the F@@k up? I listened to every damn story in her arsenal and when I went to get a word in edgewise she would just get louder! Not shrill or squeaky just plain damn loud! After an hour or so I was thinking man i should have stayed home and got drunk by myself, rented some porn and saved 150.00 bucks that I could have put on Philly today.

You know there are those people that you can go out with and even if they are ugly, annoying, or just a damn moron, you still have that little devil on your shoulder trying to figure out a way to get a little action later. You know, hey what if I get her drunk ,what if I get drunk, but NO, she had me so rattled all I could think about was how the hell did I get into this. Very nice girl that will definately make a guy very happy one day but it won't be this guy.

I guess I like those easy, slutty beeatches that are always just a little confused on just exactly what the hell is going on. Well honey not real sure about that why don't you just get naked and walk around the bar here for a little while and that might help, Ok dear!!!!