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    Like, moo

    'Twas the night before Christmas And I really think That the only thing stirring Was the straw in my drink As I studied my numbers For the next day's football By the chimney a sweat sock Hung alone on the wall
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    Merry Christmas, you bums!

    Away from the danger your kids all in bed The little lord Jesus is not in their head The star in their eyes is not Jesus today But an over-weight white guy who's probably gay
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    Drumroll, please...

    Super Bowl XXXIX. Hmmm. If alla them X's are anything like a movie rating, this game oughtta be a good one! Assuming yer into porno, I mean. In any event, I now present the Bovinian perspective on truth, justice and the big game. It's a Madjacksports.com exclusive! Like, moo. NEW ENGLAND -7 vs...
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    Also appearing at General Discussion in the "Anyone Recomend an Oline Casino" Room

    Also appearing at General Discussion in the "Anyone Recomend an Oline Casino" Room A three-hour tour, this ain't. Ya see what I'm sayin'? I wonder if you'll understand Or if you'll be concerned But I caught a hidden thought wave Lemme tell you what I learned I learned we're living in a dream...
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    We interrupt this program...

    ... so that we can bring you the following important announcement. I am Unholycow and I approve this message. Intelligence reports in and around Bovinia are now confirming that the excitement generated by the victories of three teams which are considered "sexy" by the general public will be...
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    The Big One

    NEW ENGLAND -7 vs CAROLINA 37? I've read some well thought out opinions on this anda coupla other sites, unfortunately, I seem to align more closely with the dimwits and boobs amongst ya. Albeit, the following opinion has been researched and considered from angles never pondered by dullards...
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    That's enougha that! Today I'm winning!

    It was a rough one, yesterday. Not only was I on the wrong end of two blowouts in the NFL, but my 12 Plays For Christmas suffered another loss, bringing them down to 2-2. Sheesh! And I thought Christmas was depressing! STL -10? @ DET 45 Begrudgingly, I gotta give some respect to the Rams. They...
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    Saturday Cow Pies

    Ho Ho ... oh, my achin' head. I hope everyone survived the holiday. About a half-hour ago I started to believe that I might, too. I'll tryta keep yuz posted. In the meantime, maybe somebody can assist me on another front. It's Christmas related, but a little bit weird, if you ask me. So shut...
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    Cow's Night Before Christmas

    'Twas the night before Christmas and I really think That the only thing stirring was the straw in my drink. As I studied my numbers for the next day's football, By the chimney a sweatsock hung alone on the wall. A hooker named Vixen was asleep in my bed, She'd danced in my pants until Stanley...
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    12 Plays For Christmas

    THE TWELVE PLAYS FOR CHRISTMAS On your first play for Christmas, Cow says if you want bucks, unload on the Oregon Ducks On your second play for Christmas, Cow says if you want bucks, grab some NC State and unload on the Oregon Ducks On your third play for Christmas, Cow says if you want...
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    Pies! Get your Cow Pies, here!

    I got some good news and some bad news. Then again... who don't? MIA +2? @ BUF 33? Everybody and their mother is familiar with Miami's history of taking the late-season gas pipe. Not to mention their inability to perform at their best in cold weather. Welp, I wouldn't go lookin' for no...
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    Saturday Cow Pies

    Hi fellas! Happy (hic) Holidays! Before we get to the games, here's a quick riddle for ya. (Q) Why do Mike Tyson's eyes always fill with tears when he has sex? Hey! Did I hear this right? A-Rod in Red Sox? Golly, ain't Christmas wonderful? ATL +7? @ TB 38 That spanking last week musta been a...
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    Clowns to the lefta me, jokers to the right

    ... here I am, stuck playin' middles with Loop. If yuz don't know nuthin' else, I want you should know one thing for sure. Just because I ain't been around so much as I'd like, it don't mean I ain't been doin' the work, playin' the games and thinkin' way too much about you bums. I been busy...
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    Pay Attention To Me!

    First off, let me apologize for my absence last week. While it couldn't be avoided, guilt, nevertheless, has been my constant companion because of the dead-on accuracy of my unposted week 9 pies. I would not be crackin' wise if I was to claim a certain brilliance in my handicapping of late. Of...
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    Cow Pies!

    CLE +4? @ NE 37? Fighting through a slew of injuries, the New England Patriots gained sole possession of first place in the AFC East with last week's overtime victory in Miami. They've done it with great schemes from the coaching staff and a slick buncha crafty veterans with a champion's work...
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    NFL Football... Duh.

    (sniff) (sniff) Hey Cow! What's that smell? It ain't success, Joey. The Cow Pies were an embarrassing 2-6 last week. I couldn't believe it! After looking the results over in detail, I decided that the picks weren't all that bad. Just very unlucky. Still though, the last time I checked... they...
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    Who's hungry?

    Like I always say, better late than loser. Ya see what I'm sayin'? The Cow Pies went 6-1 last week and the upgrade in booze has been delightful. I shoulda been 7-0, but the damn Pirates couldn't holda 21-point lead with four minutes to go against the Colts. Sheesh! Anyway, my YTDs are now: All...
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    Do I look fat to you?

    Hi. Howya doin'? It's been horribly humdrum of late here in Bovinia. I played nine games last week and while I may not of deserved a positive outcome from these plays, I certainly did not deserve this! 4-4-1! Are you freakin' kiddin' me? That makes 8-8-1 over the last two weeks, fellas, and I'm...
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    Pies! Get your Cow Pies here!

    Don't get me wrong, I love my country as much as the next bum, but I've had it up to here with this so-called war on terrorism! So excuse me, Dubya, if I don't tune into your next news conference. I mean, Iraq? You rack, Mr. President, and when we the people break your balls, do the right thing...
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    Week 3 Cow Pies

    KUH WHACK! How 'bout them Ducks, huh? Last week saw me go 4-2-1 overall. The winners bein' Washington, Carolina, Cincy and Minny. I can't remember the losers. The Power Pies were an unfortunate 1-2. All games 9-4-1 Power Pies 2-2 Two weeks - 69% winners. Like, moo. NYJ+6-...
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