I have a ton of pillows of all sizes on our couch. I rarely sit on the couch without using one or more at a time
That's because you're a woman. The only reason you have those pillows is for your comfort. If you live in a home with throw pillows on your couch, and you're a man, the main reason you have them is because of a woman. The only reason a woman wants throw pillows on her couch, is to deter the man from sitting on the fucking thing. Period. A man won't disturb couch pillows, because he has to put then back in the exact situation they were in prior to sitting. If he doesn't get it exactly right, that sumbitch will pay. Here's how it works.
A man and a woman move in together, after a year or so, maybe more maybe less, the woman decides new furniture is in order. The man acquiesces and spends a full day shopping for furniture that he didn't need and throw cushions that will prevent that lazy fucker from sitting on the mother fucker he didn't want in the first place. You find one with lots of pillows that he could not care less about but you don't care what he likes because it's not about comfort. It's about control. The cushions are there so when you come home from your part time gig and the pillows are out of order, you can hit him with the girl book page one standard of, "so what... you laid on the fucking couch all day while I fucking worked, and you expect me to blow you because it's your birthday?" Didn't matter that the lights are still on or the rent is paid, what's important to the woman is that the fat bastard didn't fucking vacuum and you get to use sex as a weapon. That's why women have cushions on their couches.
