First time you had sex........
- Thread starter kickserv
- Start date
it was a decent story but there are a couple of major fallacies in it so I know its made up:mj07:
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which parts :0corn
and this from someone who never would tell us their UFO story.
Hmmm.....my first time....
oh yeah....like putting an oyster in a slot machine...
:sadwave: :sadwave: :sadwave:
oh yeah....like putting an oyster in a slot machine...
:sadwave: :sadwave: :sadwave:To old to remember. Some ware between 13 & 15. We started early in the 50's. I also can't remember If it was a right hand or left. And if there even was a chick there. :shrug:
I was thirteen and a freshman in high school and she was a senior. She worked at Red's drive in on 11th st. on the South Side and was hot as hell and had a little diagonal chip in her front tooth that for some reason made her look better to me.........not that I was looking. Had a hard time finding home at first and then just went as hard as I could for about 13 seconds if that. She started school later than I did and both her parents worked and I used to stop by her house every morning. Great gal.
Also, not for nothing, but good grief Scott. That was like reading a novel about you and your childhood dog "pal" or some shit. You should have started it with, "I never thought that it would happen to me".
For the record, tailgunning another dude doesn't count as your first time having sex. More like first time..............well.............I don't know............but ewwwww............but bang that dude in the can bro. Good for you, leave the women for the heteros, and you can have all the non breeders you can convince to let you asscave them. Not my taste butt to each their own.
Hope that helps,
FDC
Also, not for nothing, but good grief Scott. That was like reading a novel about you and your childhood dog "pal" or some shit. You should have started it with, "I never thought that it would happen to me".
For the record, tailgunning another dude doesn't count as your first time having sex. More like first time..............well.............I don't know............but ewwwww............but bang that dude in the can bro. Good for you, leave the women for the heteros, and you can have all the non breeders you can convince to let you asscave them. Not my taste butt to each their own.
Hope that helps,
FDC
Late bloomer with the ladies. I was 19 years old away at college in my dorm. My dorm buddy really liked this girl and I liked her too. For some reason she liked the golfer (me) more then the hockey player which never made sense to me. My game was weak.
So I get back to the dorms after practice and have a class in an hour, a 3 hour once a week oceanography class. I tell her to come over because her dorm is connected to ours and we can hang out till class.
So we are hanging out, talking, flirting, kissing, dry humping, you know standard stuff. By the way, she's a year or so older then me, so I'm assuming she has more experience in the sexing then I do. One thing leads to another, I get tired of dry humping, well you know, I want to do more so I say..."I can skip Oceanography and stay here if you want?" She obliges, we get down to it. It lasts for like 13 seconds because a) I know nothing about nothing b) we are trying to do it on the lower level of dorm room bunk bed c) she is super tight and d) I know nothing about nothing.
I look at the clock realize I still can make my oceanography class so I tell her I really need to get to this class (classy I know, right?) and I bail. Needless to say that didn't end well.
Interesting side notes:
Ended up sleeping with another girl about three weeks later that had the same exact name first and last as this girl. Freaked me out to no end.
Tony Romo lived 3 rooms down from me at this time. He lived right by the staircase to go to the cafeteria. All I will say is dude always had Orgasmic Operas going on.
College man-whore syndrome. Never thought I was a ladies man at all but damn in college they were giving away free samples like at Costco
So I get back to the dorms after practice and have a class in an hour, a 3 hour once a week oceanography class. I tell her to come over because her dorm is connected to ours and we can hang out till class.
So we are hanging out, talking, flirting, kissing, dry humping, you know standard stuff. By the way, she's a year or so older then me, so I'm assuming she has more experience in the sexing then I do. One thing leads to another, I get tired of dry humping, well you know, I want to do more so I say..."I can skip Oceanography and stay here if you want?" She obliges, we get down to it. It lasts for like 13 seconds because a) I know nothing about nothing b) we are trying to do it on the lower level of dorm room bunk bed c) she is super tight and d) I know nothing about nothing.
I look at the clock realize I still can make my oceanography class so I tell her I really need to get to this class (classy I know, right?) and I bail. Needless to say that didn't end well.
Interesting side notes:
Ended up sleeping with another girl about three weeks later that had the same exact name first and last as this girl. Freaked me out to no end.
Tony Romo lived 3 rooms down from me at this time. He lived right by the staircase to go to the cafeteria. All I will say is dude always had Orgasmic Operas going on.
College man-whore syndrome. Never thought I was a ladies man at all but damn in college they were giving away free samples like at Costco
Hmmm.....my first time....
oh yeah....like putting an oyster in a slot machine...
I just started coughing laughing so hard:00hour
I was 16 and I had a 70 Mach I, that was bad as hell. I had girls on me like a fly's on shit. I was dating a cheerleader and she was always teasing me etc. One day after cheerleading practice I take her home and she goes into her mom and dad's bedroom and after about 20 minutes she yell's for me to come in there. I walk in and she has her skirt lifted up and her panties had been removed. She shows me the holy grail. It was freshly shaven as well. I was staring at it in amazement. I never seen one in person this close before.
I was always able to gets some finger salad with there pants on or a hand job, but never had done the deed so to say. So I was hard as chinese arithmetic when I seen the goods.
Anyway's, we lay on her parents bed sideways instead of the normal way and she begs me to do her. I get out the wallet with the condom ring embedded in it, pull out the condom and slip it on. I stick it in her and proceed to pound her into oblivian. It was so damn good I didn't want to stop. All the while I am pounding her she keeps saying don't cum in me.
So right as I am about to deliver the seed I pull it out and she pulls the condom off and let's me proceed to erupt all over her like old faithful. I didn't care where my juices went, I just loved the feeling. As we were sitting on the bed, doing the after workout cuddle we hear the overhead garage door start to open open. As we panicked to get our clothes back on and try to somewhat rearrange the bed, we forgot one very important detail that nearly changed my life forever.
So we rush out of the bedroom and head to the living room. We made it just in time before the garage door opened. Her mom says HI and asks me to help bring in some grocery's. I am sweating bullets because I just banged her daughter. So I help bring the grocery's in and sitdown to watch some t.v. with my little sex machine.
Her mom puts the grocery's away and heads to the bedroom. A few minutes later I hear a loud WTF? Not once but about 10 times. Then it dawned on me. OH SHIT is my only thought. Usaine Bolt didn't have shit on me that day. I ran like the speed of sound to the my car and left.
The next day I see my soon to be ex-sex machine. She tells me her Mom found the condom on the floor next to the bed. She also tell's me that her Mom and Dad are pissed as hell and that we will never see each other again and that they are going to take her out of school and put her in another school.
About 3 days go by and the phone rings at my mom's house and I answer it. I say hello and the woman on the other line ask if it is me. I say yes and she tells me that this is so and so's mom and that she had just purchsed a hand gun. She told me that if I ever stepped foot on her property again that she would blow my F'n balls off. Then she hangs up. I was thinking ya right. Crazy bitch!
So as the school year goes on I cannot resist this girls snatch. The next 3-4 months I proceed to sneak over to her parent's house and disassemble the neighbors fence and use it to scale the chimney to get on the roof and climb inside her window for some more action. This happens nearly everynight for the next 3-4 months.
Well like an addict I think I am never gonna get caught. One night I slip in and do the deed and proceed to fall asleep. What a mistake. Her Dad walks in the next morning to wake her up and pulls the covers off the bed and there I am buck naked as well as his daughter. Her Dad just says stay right there young man. I was frozen in place it seemed. I was trying to get my clothes on and in walks her mom. She wasn't joking either, she had a handgun pointed right at me. All she kept saying was I warned you, you lil MF'r. I am gonna blown your fuckin balls off!!!!
All hell breaks loose then. Her daughter starts screaming and then her dad walks in yelling. I am just standing there with my hands over my crotch with my eyes closed. Everyone is yelling put the gun down, don't shoot etc. Finally her dad proceeds to take the gun from his wifes hand. I nearly fainted. All I could see was my nuts being blown off. They tell me I better not move. So I don't. I was petrified!
About 5 minutes later the doorbell rings and it is the cops. I get arrested and sent to jail. I was in jail for 3 days and then released. All charges where dropped since my ex was willing to say she invited me in. The cops always teased me for breaking and entering when they walked by cell and asked if it was wirth it, since they knew I was banging the girl from the police report.
To make a long story short. The next school year they sent my ex to another school. I spoke to her about 4 times after that night and did not see her again for about 20 years. Needless to say she is a hog now. Lucky me I guess. End of story right? Not the case.
One night I was at the VFW with some friends and low and behold my ex's parents where there. They were liquored up pretty good it seemed. I had seen them and was telling my friends that we need to leave before they seen me. They all started laughing etc. What are friends for. I was sitting at the bar and all of sudden her dad taps me on the shoulder and says something like aren't you that lil son of a bitch that was fucking my daughter. Before I could turn around my buddy sitting next to me proceeds to co-cock him with a right hand and knocks him out cold. We ran out of the bar and the was the last time I ever seen them again. I have not been back to that bar ever since then either. That was 10-12 years ago.
Many of friends still bring this story up and get a good laugh. I am just thankful to still have my dick and balls.
I was always able to gets some finger salad with there pants on or a hand job, but never had done the deed so to say. So I was hard as chinese arithmetic when I seen the goods.
Anyway's, we lay on her parents bed sideways instead of the normal way and she begs me to do her. I get out the wallet with the condom ring embedded in it, pull out the condom and slip it on. I stick it in her and proceed to pound her into oblivian. It was so damn good I didn't want to stop. All the while I am pounding her she keeps saying don't cum in me.
So right as I am about to deliver the seed I pull it out and she pulls the condom off and let's me proceed to erupt all over her like old faithful. I didn't care where my juices went, I just loved the feeling. As we were sitting on the bed, doing the after workout cuddle we hear the overhead garage door start to open open. As we panicked to get our clothes back on and try to somewhat rearrange the bed, we forgot one very important detail that nearly changed my life forever.
So we rush out of the bedroom and head to the living room. We made it just in time before the garage door opened. Her mom says HI and asks me to help bring in some grocery's. I am sweating bullets because I just banged her daughter. So I help bring the grocery's in and sitdown to watch some t.v. with my little sex machine.
Her mom puts the grocery's away and heads to the bedroom. A few minutes later I hear a loud WTF? Not once but about 10 times. Then it dawned on me. OH SHIT is my only thought. Usaine Bolt didn't have shit on me that day. I ran like the speed of sound to the my car and left.
The next day I see my soon to be ex-sex machine. She tells me her Mom found the condom on the floor next to the bed. She also tell's me that her Mom and Dad are pissed as hell and that we will never see each other again and that they are going to take her out of school and put her in another school.
About 3 days go by and the phone rings at my mom's house and I answer it. I say hello and the woman on the other line ask if it is me. I say yes and she tells me that this is so and so's mom and that she had just purchsed a hand gun. She told me that if I ever stepped foot on her property again that she would blow my F'n balls off. Then she hangs up. I was thinking ya right. Crazy bitch!
So as the school year goes on I cannot resist this girls snatch. The next 3-4 months I proceed to sneak over to her parent's house and disassemble the neighbors fence and use it to scale the chimney to get on the roof and climb inside her window for some more action. This happens nearly everynight for the next 3-4 months.
Well like an addict I think I am never gonna get caught. One night I slip in and do the deed and proceed to fall asleep. What a mistake. Her Dad walks in the next morning to wake her up and pulls the covers off the bed and there I am buck naked as well as his daughter. Her Dad just says stay right there young man. I was frozen in place it seemed. I was trying to get my clothes on and in walks her mom. She wasn't joking either, she had a handgun pointed right at me. All she kept saying was I warned you, you lil MF'r. I am gonna blown your fuckin balls off!!!!
All hell breaks loose then. Her daughter starts screaming and then her dad walks in yelling. I am just standing there with my hands over my crotch with my eyes closed. Everyone is yelling put the gun down, don't shoot etc. Finally her dad proceeds to take the gun from his wifes hand. I nearly fainted. All I could see was my nuts being blown off. They tell me I better not move. So I don't. I was petrified!
About 5 minutes later the doorbell rings and it is the cops. I get arrested and sent to jail. I was in jail for 3 days and then released. All charges where dropped since my ex was willing to say she invited me in. The cops always teased me for breaking and entering when they walked by cell and asked if it was wirth it, since they knew I was banging the girl from the police report.
To make a long story short. The next school year they sent my ex to another school. I spoke to her about 4 times after that night and did not see her again for about 20 years. Needless to say she is a hog now. Lucky me I guess. End of story right? Not the case.
One night I was at the VFW with some friends and low and behold my ex's parents where there. They were liquored up pretty good it seemed. I had seen them and was telling my friends that we need to leave before they seen me. They all started laughing etc. What are friends for. I was sitting at the bar and all of sudden her dad taps me on the shoulder and says something like aren't you that lil son of a bitch that was fucking my daughter. Before I could turn around my buddy sitting next to me proceeds to co-cock him with a right hand and knocks him out cold. We ran out of the bar and the was the last time I ever seen them again. I have not been back to that bar ever since then either. That was 10-12 years ago.
Many of friends still bring this story up and get a good laugh. I am just thankful to still have my dick and balls.
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