I'm all screwed up right now!
- Thread starter bleedingpurple
- Start date
well today will be a week sober for her. she has imposed herself a self lock down at her mother's house. She has told me she is never using again.. will she? Well that's the million dollar question. she has spent the week with withdrawals and ong periods of sleep. me and her mom have taking turns watching the kid and me educating mom not to harp on her long sleep periods as her brain and body are trying to heal. She looks much better today than she did a week ago and she knows it. She asked me when are the withdrawals going to stop? I try to give her a manageable time frame but truthfully I don't know other than what I have read and it depends on the person and how much she has used. Her drug friends have been trying to contact her and she texts them to tell them to leave her alone but those fuckers will try and suck her back in. I want her to change her number and get a new phone but with other social media and the proximity of where they live it probably won't help anyway. This is such an easy drug to get your hands on. It's up to her to quit and to turn it down. she is starting to talk more about her future in the positive and not as bleak as she once described.. a couple weeks ago she said she was a worthless C. I know a week of sobriety is just a thimble in an upward climb but it's a start with her long term goal of getting therapy but getting through the first phase of getting through withdrawal is where it starts then move onto the second phase. I try to keep optimistic and encouraging and fear the worst.. I honestly don't know what I would do if she uses again? will I run? will I encourage her to start the process over again? Hopefully it won't come to that.
well if she does start again I will encourage inpatient treatment as her mom has a center all lined up through insurance. she wants to do it her way this time. have my doubts
- Mar 19, 2006
- 38,211
- 375
- 83
- 74
nothing wrong with that, if she can do it herself it will be good for her self esteem. just be there to encourage and support, but realize she may have a lapse or two. good luck bp. it takes a special person to administer 'tough love' in situations like this.
I don't have much to offer other than the fact that you're a good person for doing what you are doing.
I've watched a fair amount of the show intervention and until people with addictions hit rock bottom they usually repeat. I hope she stays sober but if she doesn't, consider your role in enabling- completely cutting ties may be the necessary thing for her to bottom out, as scary as it is. It's usually the first part of the intervention process- family and friends standing ground and not enabling. She's lucky she's got you in her life.
I've watched a fair amount of the show intervention and until people with addictions hit rock bottom they usually repeat. I hope she stays sober but if she doesn't, consider your role in enabling- completely cutting ties may be the necessary thing for her to bottom out, as scary as it is. It's usually the first part of the intervention process- family and friends standing ground and not enabling. She's lucky she's got you in her life.
Saint mentioned it and sometimes it's very hard to see but you very well could be enabling her. I would also try to watch closely to see if you can figure out what her trigger is or "who" her trigger is. We've gone thru a 18 year battle with my sister. 2 years ago next week we as a family(for the first time since my dad and mom divorced 22 years ago) came together at a rehab facility in Florida. It was the toughest week of my life but one of the things we(except for my mom) realized was that my mother was my sisters trigger. For as much as they love each other and are good friends my mother just has a tendency to say and do things that puts my sister in a bad place mentally. For the first 15 years of her addiction my brother in law was her enabler. He's an executive who makes a ton of money but travels a lot so she always had money and no worries. He was so scared of losing her that he babied her in ways that made it worse. She finally hit rock bottom, was arrested and lost him and everything else. It took a while but she's clean now.
BP, I'll say a prayer for her and you. I don't think there are many things that are can break you more than someone you love being an addict. Meth makes it even more rough because it does a number on peoples mind and bodies. Good luck and stay strong.
BP, I'll say a prayer for her and you. I don't think there are many things that are can break you more than someone you love being an addict. Meth makes it even more rough because it does a number on peoples mind and bodies. Good luck and stay strong.
Addiction is ugly my friend. Unfortunately the only way Ice ever heard of beating it is one day one hour at a time. It sounds as though she's on the right track with the right people helping. I think you're doing great and this is great news.
Sent from my SM-G928P using Tapatalk
Sent from my SM-G928P using Tapatalk
I've thought of this as well as me being the enabler. I did give tough love and every time I leave she comes back to try and quit. her trigger may very well be her mom.. she has always said that her son and me are what she is fighting for but lately She's been talking about doing it for herself which I have read is the most important aspect. she has even looked up treatment centers on line but yeah there is only so.much I can take and she knows that I'm at my last straw. Will see what happens and if this current Avenue doesn't lead to success it will be me wishing her the best but always supporting her sobriety.
You are an amazing human being BP. Never met you in person, but it's obvious to me and a lot of us here. Good Luck with this man. Thoughts and good vibes your way.
I hope thing turn out for the better for you,I went thru the same situation 20 year ago.Meth head will steal from you or family member and Lie to your face.I have to buy my personal belonging and jewelry back from pawnshop,after that i loss hope in human-been or helping another Meth head.Good guy getting screw all the time ,just be careful.
good luck
good luck
you're a good guy bp, sometimes there are no easy answers but it seems you're on the right track. I've never known anyone on meth so I won't even begin to offer advice. I'll just leave you with good thoughts and prayers to all involved...
well the good thing here is I won't give her money. I'll buy food, she ate good past week. as for stealing.. if she uses again I'm sure it will lead to that as she lost her job but I don't have valuables like jewelry. her mom has been locking shit up
- Mar 19, 2006
- 38,211
- 375
- 83
- 74
just got back to this and since I'm waiting my time to dwindle at work I can give an update. the answer is no she's not. I knew it was a long shot but she is now saying she is in control and can quit when she wants. she has no job living at home. leaves her kids with her mother and sneaks out and uses and stays awake during the day and crashes for about 2 days. I've stopped all contact, had to block her on FB and such. I guess I was at my last straw and will support any attempts at sobriety. she is frustrated and depressed thay she couldn't do it on her own that's when she is sober. when she is high that's when she says she's in control. feel sorry for her mom, she feels trapped cause if she kicks her out then she is worried about where the grandson will go and mother says grandson is top priority. don't know how she will hit bottom being able to stay at mom's and then sneak out. Oh well it takes a lot to push me to this point. Hopefully there will be a day when mom tells me she had enough and kicks it but that may take a long long time
- Mar 19, 2006
- 38,211
- 375
- 83
- 74
BP...you have tried to help someone get their life back...
Tuff to help the unwilling ..
Continue to move forward yourself ...
Tuff to help the unwilling ..
Continue to move forward yourself ...
I agree with old school, you tried, and she wanted none of it. Still doing it her way. It also affected you and was causing you so much stress obviously, but I truly believe you were enabling her in a small way. Very happy you have distanced yourself and cut contact. As you said in the beginning, you are 43 and she is 25. You will find someone, just stay away from the age range you just tried. Get someone established career wise that you are not a father figure to, and can respect. It will make you better in the long run. It was a noble gesture for trying, but you have to move on as you are. Good luck.
BP, we have a law in Kentucky called Casey's Law. I was checking to see if your state had similar, but I could only find a reference to similar laws in 27 states. Maybe you could explore that for her? I think about your situation often. I really hope she starts to do better, but I don't have a lot of hope. Best wishes to you.
Casey's law allows for a parent, sibling, child, spouse, or even concerned friend or significant other to present the case to the county attorney and then to the judge that their loved one needs treatment. It starts the treatment without some major law breaking offense or harm to children happening first. Just an idea for you to explore in your state.
Casey's law allows for a parent, sibling, child, spouse, or even concerned friend or significant other to present the case to the county attorney and then to the judge that their loved one needs treatment. It starts the treatment without some major law breaking offense or harm to children happening first. Just an idea for you to explore in your state.
