Man Laws
- Thread starter Wise and Wiser
- Start date
2 guys on a motorcycle :nono: :nono: and if its an emergency u hold the back of your seat not the other dudes waist :mj07: :nono:
LetsMakeMoney said:
Very true.
That made me think of dudes on scooters. Have you seen this? Grown men riding around on a turquoise scooter.
Gay, that's all I can say.
You cannot BANG:
1. You friends sister
2. Your friends ex girl friend
3. Your friends Mother
4. For some of you... YOUR FRIEND...
1. You friends sister
2. Your friends ex girl friend
3. Your friends Mother
4. For some of you... YOUR FRIEND...
LMM,
I couldn't agree more. Man Law!
Hokie,
I disagree with #3 on your list. If she's hot, why not? It's not like your friend is ever going to know. There are a lot of MILF out there! Otherwise, Man Law!
I couldn't agree more. Man Law!
Hokie,
I disagree with #3 on your list. If she's hot, why not? It's not like your friend is ever going to know. There are a lot of MILF out there! Otherwise, Man Law!
Hokie Fan said:
:mj07: :mj07: i've done these 3 when i was a little younger :shrug: :SIB
PS: not the same friend by the way cause that would have be focked up :mj07:
Man Law: Bar Rules
Men are not allowed to drink Zima, Purple Haze, Woodchuck Cider, Hardcore cider, or any other "fruity beer". Men drink beer.
Coronas gets lime, Hoegarden gets a lemon, and Bule Moon Belgin White gets an Orange....otherwise men may not ask for an additional fruit for a beer that does not come with fruit. For example: Men may not ask for a Miller Lite and a lime. :nono:
Men are not allowed to drink any frozen drink unless they are can see the ocean from the barstool.
Real men NEVER EVER order a cosmopolitan.
If you are a man that smokes, you may never "bum" a Virgina Slim. You should either buy a new pack, or do without. :SIB
Men do not drink Riesling. If you must drink a white wine, then there are plenty of Pinos, Chards, and other varietals that are light and refreshing. Rieslings are for women.
If 2 or more friend go out, men do not ask for "split checks" instead one of you should pay and your buddy will pay at the next place, or you should round up and throw some cash in to pay for the bill.
Men are not allowed to drink Zima, Purple Haze, Woodchuck Cider, Hardcore cider, or any other "fruity beer". Men drink beer.
Coronas gets lime, Hoegarden gets a lemon, and Bule Moon Belgin White gets an Orange....otherwise men may not ask for an additional fruit for a beer that does not come with fruit. For example: Men may not ask for a Miller Lite and a lime. :nono:
Men are not allowed to drink any frozen drink unless they are can see the ocean from the barstool.
Real men NEVER EVER order a cosmopolitan.
If you are a man that smokes, you may never "bum" a Virgina Slim. You should either buy a new pack, or do without. :SIB
Men do not drink Riesling. If you must drink a white wine, then there are plenty of Pinos, Chards, and other varietals that are light and refreshing. Rieslings are for women.
If 2 or more friend go out, men do not ask for "split checks" instead one of you should pay and your buddy will pay at the next place, or you should round up and throw some cash in to pay for the bill.
[Lawn Rule]
Never let your neighbor witness your wife mowing your lawn. If your backyard is enclosed by a wooden fence, then okay...let her have a little fun with your big boys' toy.
Never let your neighbor witness your wife mowing your lawn. If your backyard is enclosed by a wooden fence, then okay...let her have a little fun with your big boys' toy.
Blazer, I nearly pissed my pants reading your Bar Rules! I agree with everything you said.
CryBoy, I love the Lawn Rule!
CryBoy, I love the Lawn Rule!
Mans Law: Restroom etiquette
A man should always leave an empty urinal between him and the next guy.
Just like in school, a man should keep his eyes on "his paper only"
I was pondering the above rules about convertables and I agree that a man should not drive a convertable unless it is a MBZ or Mustang. Any man driving a Miata or VW, brings his manhood into immediate question.
Also, no man should go to a "baby shower", even if it's for "couples"...
A man should always leave an empty urinal between him and the next guy.
Just like in school, a man should keep his eyes on "his paper only"
I was pondering the above rules about convertables and I agree that a man should not drive a convertable unless it is a MBZ or Mustang. Any man driving a Miata or VW, brings his manhood into immediate question.
Also, no man should go to a "baby shower", even if it's for "couples"...
ScreaminPain said:
:mj07:
:mj07:
:mj07:
Man Law: DO NOT let your wife talk you into getting 2 rat looking dogs, and if she does somehow because you have put yourself between a rock and a hard place, perhaps by screwing up, DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES let her talk you into naming them Kiki and Koko, but if for whatever reason, maybe you banged her sister or something terrible, DO NOT EVER, EVER, EVER, then follow up by posting pictures of said dogs (rats) on an internet message board for gambling(Kneifl ) :SIB
Man Law: If you get in a tiff (argument :shrug: ) or whatever with a buddy of yours, DO NOT go posting how you are fighting with a friend on an internet message board for gambling. (Kneifl ):SIB
If you even CONSIDER either of these, you are 100% GAY....
not that there is anything wrong with that
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Agent,
I knew you would have something good. Can't disagree with anything you said, especially the rats' names.
Man Law!
I knew you would have something good. Can't disagree with anything you said, especially the rats' names.
Man Law!
1. Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his fellow partygoers.
2. Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
3. It is ok for a man to cry under the following circumstances:
a) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse
b) After wrecking your boss' Ferrari
c) When your date is using her teeth
4. Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.
5. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever, unless you actually marry her.
6. The minimum amount of time you have to wait for a guy who's running late is 5 minutes. Maximum waiting time is 6 minutes
7. Bitching about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden. Gripe at will if the temperature is unsuitable.
8. No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. (In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional.)
9. When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may always ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.
10 You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend.
11. It is permissible to quaff a fruity chick drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless supermodel... and it's free.
12. Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.
13. If a man's zipper is down, that's his problem --- you didn't see nothin'.
14. Women who claim the "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to pick a buffalo wing clean.
15. You must offer heartfelt and public condolences over the death of a girlfriend's cat, even if it was you who secretly set it on fire and threw it into a ceiling fan.
16. If you complement a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.
17. Phrases that may not be uttered to another man while lifting weights:
a) Yeah, Baby, Push it!
b) C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
c) Another set and we can hit the showers!
d) Nice Ass, are you a Sagittarius?
18. Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.
19. Never allow a conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone, hang up if necessary.
20. When a buddy is trying to hook up, you may sabotage him only in a manner that gives you no chance of hooking up either.
2. Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
3. It is ok for a man to cry under the following circumstances:
a) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse
b) After wrecking your boss' Ferrari
c) When your date is using her teeth
4. Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.
5. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever, unless you actually marry her.
6. The minimum amount of time you have to wait for a guy who's running late is 5 minutes. Maximum waiting time is 6 minutes
7. Bitching about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden. Gripe at will if the temperature is unsuitable.
8. No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. (In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional.)
9. When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may always ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.
10 You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend.
11. It is permissible to quaff a fruity chick drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless supermodel... and it's free.
12. Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.
13. If a man's zipper is down, that's his problem --- you didn't see nothin'.
14. Women who claim the "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to pick a buffalo wing clean.
15. You must offer heartfelt and public condolences over the death of a girlfriend's cat, even if it was you who secretly set it on fire and threw it into a ceiling fan.
16. If you complement a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.
17. Phrases that may not be uttered to another man while lifting weights:
a) Yeah, Baby, Push it!
b) C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
c) Another set and we can hit the showers!
d) Nice Ass, are you a Sagittarius?
18. Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.
19. Never allow a conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone, hang up if necessary.
20. When a buddy is trying to hook up, you may sabotage him only in a manner that gives you no chance of hooking up either.
If you're still yelling, "You da man!" at a tee box, stop already!
Agent, can I get a man law on that?
Agent, can I get a man law on that?
