SIGN UP - 4th Annual Golf Outing July 23rd at Horseshoe
- Thread starter MadJack
- Start date
Dear Golfing Buddies,
Many of you may not realize that I've been very busy over the last several years, putting my thoughts and ideas together to create a book on golf techniques. I believe my new book on GOLF gives the reader valuable playing tips and insider information I've gained through my years of lessons, struggle and experiment. I am very proud of the results, and to assist with marketing, I am asking friends and family to help me out. I hope you find it a useful tool to help you enjoy your game much more while you enjoy the great outdoors. Order your copy now, only $9.99.
Here's a quick overview of what it covers:
Table of Contents:
Chapter 1 - How to Properly Line Up Your Fourth Putt.
Chapter 2 - How to Hit a Nike from the Rough, when you Hit a Titleist from the Tee.
Chapter 3 - How to Avoid the Water When You Lie 8 in a Bunker.
Chapter 4 - How to Get More Distance off the Shank.
Chapter 5 - When to Give the Course Marshall the Finger.
Chapter 6 - Using Your Shadow on the Greens to Maximize Earnings.
Chapter 7 - When to Implement Handicap "Management".
Chapter 8 - Proper Excuses for Drinking Beer Before 9:00 AM.
Chapter 9 - How to Rationalize a 6-Hour Round.
Chapter 10 - When Does a Divot Become Classified as Sod.
Chapter 11 - How to Find That Ball That Everyone Else Saw Go in the Water.
Chapter 12 ? How to Contain Yourself when Your Spouse Doesn't Care that You Birdied the 5th Hole.
Chapter 13 - Using Curse Words Creatively to Control Ball Flight.
Chapter 14 - When to Let a Foursome Play through Your Twosome.
Chapter 15 - How to Relax When You Are Hitting Five Off the Tee.
Chapter 16 - When to Suggest Major Swing Corrections to Your Opponents.
Chapter 17 - God and the Meaning of the Birdie-to-Bogey-Three-Putt.
Chapter 18 - When to Re-grip Your Ball Retriever.
Chapter 19 - Throwing Your Clubs: An Effective Stress-Reduction Technique.
Chapter 20 ? Why You Can?t Purchase a Better Golf Game?
Chapter 21 - Why Male Golfers Will Pay $6 a Beer From the Cart Girl and Give Her a $4 Tip, but will balk at $4 a Beer at the 19th Hole and then Stiff the Bartender.
Many of you may not realize that I've been very busy over the last several years, putting my thoughts and ideas together to create a book on golf techniques. I believe my new book on GOLF gives the reader valuable playing tips and insider information I've gained through my years of lessons, struggle and experiment. I am very proud of the results, and to assist with marketing, I am asking friends and family to help me out. I hope you find it a useful tool to help you enjoy your game much more while you enjoy the great outdoors. Order your copy now, only $9.99.
Here's a quick overview of what it covers:
Table of Contents:
Chapter 1 - How to Properly Line Up Your Fourth Putt.
Chapter 2 - How to Hit a Nike from the Rough, when you Hit a Titleist from the Tee.
Chapter 3 - How to Avoid the Water When You Lie 8 in a Bunker.
Chapter 4 - How to Get More Distance off the Shank.
Chapter 5 - When to Give the Course Marshall the Finger.
Chapter 6 - Using Your Shadow on the Greens to Maximize Earnings.
Chapter 7 - When to Implement Handicap "Management".
Chapter 8 - Proper Excuses for Drinking Beer Before 9:00 AM.
Chapter 9 - How to Rationalize a 6-Hour Round.
Chapter 10 - When Does a Divot Become Classified as Sod.
Chapter 11 - How to Find That Ball That Everyone Else Saw Go in the Water.
Chapter 12 ? How to Contain Yourself when Your Spouse Doesn't Care that You Birdied the 5th Hole.
Chapter 13 - Using Curse Words Creatively to Control Ball Flight.
Chapter 14 - When to Let a Foursome Play through Your Twosome.
Chapter 15 - How to Relax When You Are Hitting Five Off the Tee.
Chapter 16 - When to Suggest Major Swing Corrections to Your Opponents.
Chapter 17 - God and the Meaning of the Birdie-to-Bogey-Three-Putt.
Chapter 18 - When to Re-grip Your Ball Retriever.
Chapter 19 - Throwing Your Clubs: An Effective Stress-Reduction Technique.
Chapter 20 ? Why You Can?t Purchase a Better Golf Game?
Chapter 21 - Why Male Golfers Will Pay $6 a Beer From the Cart Girl and Give Her a $4 Tip, but will balk at $4 a Beer at the 19th Hole and then Stiff the Bartender.
A friend of mine sent it to me. My favorite is "How to hit a Nike from the rough when you hit a Titleist from the tee." :toast:
Some of those remind me of this turd:
I golfed with a buddy this morning, and he is one of those guys who is ultra competitive. If he thinks you are even golfers, he will want 3 a side. If he is four shots better per nine, he will demand to play straight up. In short. He has to be ahead of you out of the box.
After that, he loves to do the head games. Cough/fart in your address of the ball. Stand with the shadow in your line. All that chicken shit stuff. Today, we played a straight up Nasau, and I was shocked that he didn't ask for strokes! (Well, we didn't start until after the first hole, and I was up two shots, and he demanded we toss that hole out, so........I guess he DID have me! :mj07: )
Anyway, this is taking way too long, as you will agree, to make my fucking pont.
I beat him on the front nine, and we are tied on the back when he "pressed" the match with four holes to go. He then hits his drive OB on the next hole, re-tees, and just as I figure he's about to swing, I say: "Just relax, and don't even think about the fact that you are hitting three on this next shot......"
The fucker looks at me and says, "You motherfucker!", and takes longer than usual to whack one about 15 yards down the tee box!
:00hour
Game over.
We have a 6:30 tee time tomorrow, and he said he's not showing up.
:shrug:
I golfed with a buddy this morning, and he is one of those guys who is ultra competitive. If he thinks you are even golfers, he will want 3 a side. If he is four shots better per nine, he will demand to play straight up. In short. He has to be ahead of you out of the box.
After that, he loves to do the head games. Cough/fart in your address of the ball. Stand with the shadow in your line. All that chicken shit stuff. Today, we played a straight up Nasau, and I was shocked that he didn't ask for strokes! (Well, we didn't start until after the first hole, and I was up two shots, and he demanded we toss that hole out, so........I guess he DID have me! :mj07: )
Anyway, this is taking way too long, as you will agree, to make my fucking pont.
I beat him on the front nine, and we are tied on the back when he "pressed" the match with four holes to go. He then hits his drive OB on the next hole, re-tees, and just as I figure he's about to swing, I say: "Just relax, and don't even think about the fact that you are hitting three on this next shot......"
The fucker looks at me and says, "You motherfucker!", and takes longer than usual to whack one about 15 yards down the tee box!
:00hour
Game over.
We have a 6:30 tee time tomorrow, and he said he's not showing up.
:shrug:
Nick, I signed up Tommy and Amanda for a room just now.
Pretty sure my wife will be coming along so I'll have double occupancy. Just 1 round of golf for Tommy and I. No golf for the wives.
nole
Pretty sure my wife will be coming along so I'll have double occupancy. Just 1 round of golf for Tommy and I. No golf for the wives.
nole
I was checking on rates for our weekend for some friends that might come along. $275.00 per night. No golf, no breakfasts and no free $20.00!
We get $203.00 per person based on double occupancy! :00hour
You da man Nick!!!
nole
We get $203.00 per person based on double occupancy! :00hour
You da man Nick!!!
nole
Maybe we got such a great rate because I promised the corporate contact that I was bringing a whale with me who drank Crown at the $10,000 a hand Black Jack table named Nole :shrug:
