Smitty's French Open

Smitty

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guaranteed to be one of the top 3 french open threads or your money back!

time for some fun on the clay. just entered my first tennis contest. $20 entry... 3 players... winner take all ($54). big bucks.

don't like much early with the ladies, but let's start with...

siegemund/shnaider/tauson (+141) 2 units

on the men's side...

zz/moreno de alboran +1.5 sets (+128) 2 units
zz/moreno de alboran +1.5 sets/pedro martinez (+196) 1 unit
moreno de alboran +1.5 sets/pedro martinez (+110) 2 units
MDA (+150) 2 units

ok, it's well past my bedtime so i'm getting a little silly. but let's do this....

zz/mda/pedro/tabilo/altmaier (+846) 1 unit

and, because i can't stop....

zz/siegemund (+131) 3 units
 

kickserv

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guaranteed to be one of the top 3 french open threads or your money back!

I Dont Know Stephen King GIF by Paramount+
 

Smitty

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You just bankrupted DraftKings.
probably.

maybe you can explain this. it says i currently have no live contests.

1716734729954.png

same thing when i click on "history." any idea what happened? maybe the contest didn't fill (3 people!) so it was canceled?

kinda weird, because when i first looked at our pga championship contest, the same thing happened, but i went out and came back in and it was there. no such luck this time.
 

kickserv

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maybe the contest didn't fill (3 people!) so it was canceled?

Yep, you didn't get three people, and it was cancelled, so the money would have been put back in your account.

Thanks for not bankrupting DraftKings, good to see they are still up and running.
 

kickserv

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Things did not go so well for Smitty on Day 1 of French Open, but thankfully Zhizhen Zhang won, so all is not lost in the world, there is still some joy to be had.

☀️
 

Smitty

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i'm off to a perfect start!!

0-7 (-13)

just noticed that shnaider lost. wow. glad i wasn't still alive in that parlay.

koepfer (+350) 1 unit
koepfer +1.5 sets (+155) 2 units
koepfer +2.5 sets/TSW (+155) 4 units

burel (+120) 4 units
pera in straight sets/tormo (+111) 2 units
 

kickserv

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Well things went a tiny tiny bit better for Smitty on Day 2.....he won something....things are looking up :smilies2
 

Smitty

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Well things went a tiny tiny bit better for Smitty on Day 2.....he won something....things are looking up :smilies2
what did i hit? pretty sure i kept my perfect record intact. this is getting ridiculous. i think i'm gonna have to withdraw from the french open.

0-12 (-26 units)
 

kickserv

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Zhizhen Zhang gets destroyed in the Round of 32's......Smitty is devastated😢
 

Smitty

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Zhizhen Zhang gets destroyed in the Round of 32's......Smitty is devastated😢
nah, he told me ahead of time he was taking a dive. seriously, how else would the greatest clay court player in history lose to some greek scrub who is only in the tournament because he's banging paula badosa?
 

kickserv

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nah, he told me ahead of time he was taking a dive. seriously, how else would the greatest clay court player in history lose to some greek scrub who is only in the tournament because he's banging paula badosa?

Badosa is fine and all, but just thought I'd point out that some Madjackers have Supermodel wives, so no need to travel over to France to bang hot chicks.

pointspread fred has a SuperModel wife and loves me more then you love Zhang:D



and

 

Smitty

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my goodness, so much drama. i'm suddenly very concerned for your testicles.

catch and release cooking GIF by Laff
 
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Smitty

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ok, fuck it.

gille/vliegen (-125) 125 units. that's right, if they lose, i'm gonna have to rejoin the workforce. retirement's over.

this match is scheduled to start in roughly 9 hours. i am currently at Dirty Dick (hey, i didn't name it) in Paris with rohan bopanna. we are doing massive amounts of cocaine with 6 parisian hookers. or, as they call them, prostituées. almost classy.

anyway, rohan is balls deep in adeline and amelie right now, while the crowd is chanting some shit in french. i don't think we're going anywhere any time soon.
 
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