I don't know your 3rd cousin... Is he hot?
No, but he's got a great personality.
I don't know your 3rd cousin... Is he hot?
The story of the 2023 Masters
BY JAY BUSBEE
AUGUSTA, Ga. — Hello, readers. (I’d say “Hello, friends,” but that’s trademarked by someone else.) We’re coming to you live from Augusta, Ga., all week, bringing you not just the scores and leaders, but the stories you won’t see on television (or the live streaming you’ll watch during the workday Thursday and Friday). To prep you for the finest week in golf and one of the transcendent events on the sports calendar, let’s set the stage with all you need to know before the tournament begins Thursday. We start where all Masters begin …
The Georgia pines and azaleas. The beauty of Augusta National is unbelievable — as in, you cannot believe natural beauty can exist like this. Yes, it’s a finely-manicured version of reality, deep rich greens and azaleas so bright they warm your heart. That’s your starting point for Masters appreciation, its awe-inspiring natural beauty.
The pimento cheese sandwich. Spend enough time walking the steep hills of Augusta National and you’ll start to get hungry. The traditional tournament staple – pimento cheese on white bread – still costs only $1.50. It’s a welcome throwback in a time where Augusta National could charge literally 10 times that amount and sell almost the same number of sandwiches. There’s method behind the apparent menu madness, though, because Augusta National knows it’ll get your money eventually.
The souvenir merch. You can’t just go to Augusta National and take in the natural beauty and a sandwich or two. What good is a visit to one of America’s most exclusive sporting venues if you can’t gloat about it to everyone who couldn’t go? You’ll have to make a stop by the merchandise shop, and you’ll drop three figures there without even blinking. Today, we heard a tale of a man who spent in excess of $40,000 there … and nobody was surprised at that fact.
Tiger Woods’ surgically repaired leg. But what about the actual golf, you say? There’s plenty to discuss, starting with the one player everyone knows. Woods last won at Augusta in 2019, but since then he’s suffered a range of personal and physical setbacks, capped by a catastrophic 2021 car crash. He’ll never be the same player again, and it’s clear the end is near, but he’s out here competing again with a willpower equal to the entire rest of the field.
Rory McIlroy’s strut. The player who comes closest to Woods in stature happens to be the player most bedeviled by Augusta National over the last decade. McIlroy has become the voice and face of the PGA Tour in its ongoing battle against upstart LIV Golf — more on that in a moment — and it’s fueled him to some of the best golf of his career. Will that translate to a victory at Augusta? Stay tuned.
The LIV Golf players’ logo shirts. Eighteen LIV players are teeing it up this week, and many of them showed up Monday sporting the logos of their various LIV teams. The LIV breakaway poses an existential threat to the sport of golf; at its most basic, the division means the game’s best players are only reuniting four times a year at golf’s majors. Imagine Patrick Mahomes and Aaron Rodgers joining a breakaway football league and only playing the NFL teams a couple times a year and you’ll start to get a sense of how vast a divide now exists in golf. This is a sport in transition, a sport in crisis, and moments like this week are all that’s holding it together.
Scottie Scheffler’s scorecard. On a more positive note, the PGA Tour is enjoying something of a revival at the top of the rankings, led by defending champion Scottie Scheffler. In a bravura performance this time last year, Scheffler stiff-armed the entire field. If he can repeat this year, he’ll vault from a guy who had won exactly zero tournaments going into January 2022 to one of the all-time greats. And he’s a hell of a nice guy, too.
Cell phones. Augusta National may be the largest collection of non-cell-phone carrying Americans in the entire country. If you pull out your phone to text a friend or watch a TikTok video or play a little Candy Crush — heck, if you even possess your cell phone on the property — you’ll be escorted to the exit, tossed out and barred from ever returning. Sure, it’s a draconian threat, but it’s created an entire miniature world where everyone there is focused only on people in their immediate vicinity. It’s glorious.
The green jacket. Nowhere else in the country could you wear a green jacket and look not just fashionable, but powerful. The Masters of the Universe descend on Augusta National sporting their green jackets every April, and everyone from Bill Gates to Roger Goodell to Condoleeza Rice rubs emerald elbows in the shadow of the massive oak next to the brilliant white clubhouse. Every Masters winner dons a green jacket of his own on Sunday afternoon, a symbol of an honor that will follow the winner for the rest of his days. Immortality from four days’ work, how can you not love that?
We wish we could bring a little bit of the Masters to every one of you, but we couldn’t fit you all in our back seat, and the pimento cheese would spoil if we tried to mail it. So we’ll give you a full picture of everything that unfolds this week. Make up an Arnold Palmer — iced tea and lemonade, but you knew that — and join us on the ride, won’t you?
— Follow Jay Busbee on Twitter
They will play 4 rounds no matter what, right? Even if they play Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday of next week.
1X
Rory Mcllroy 2/1
1st Round Top 10 Finish
Its famous pimento cheese sandwich is only $1.50.
Maybe the Irish Curse can finally have a decent 1st round?
I wouldn't eat a pimento cheese sandwich if they were handing them out for free at the entrance.
especially if it had ketchup on it.kurby
The curse will continue because you posted a wager in the wrong forum.:nono:
If you posted in the correct forum you would have won, so nobody to blame but yourselfkurby
Correct forum for wagers........
https://www.madjacksports.com/forum/...50#post6953350
Correct forum for asian porn......
https://www.madjacksports.com/forum/...36#post6917836
There now ya know:0008
I get a bad rap for ketchup. I like ketchup, just not on a hotdog. Do you put ketchup on a bologna sandwich? Same difference and you should be slapped.
You need to concentrate more on your DraftKings lineup.
Mike Weir?
Holy shit!
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