Climate Expert Demands: "Prove Us Wrong or Stand Down"
Offline Opiate of the People
6/19/2012, 10:16 pm
User avatar
People's science expert and tax-free yacht skipper John Kerry recently issued a stern challenge to climate-change holocaust deniers and other tools of Big Oil:
"PROVE US WRONG OR STAND DOWN*"
Speaking to Congress for nearly 55 minutes on the subject (which I'm sure just flew by because he is so fascinating and such a great speaker), Commander Kerry employed the time-honored principle of modern peer-reviewed people's science which states when the government and popular celebrities believe something is true, the burden of proof is on those who disagree to prove otherwise.
In addition, even though the principles of modern peer-reviewed people's science do not require it, Captain Kerry provided his own irrefutable evidence of climate change to the dozing hushed audience:
?All you need to do is look out your window. ?For the first time in memory, the Augusta National azaleas bloomed and wilted before the first golfers teed off at this year?s Masters.?
This discovery is already revolutionizing the way scientific research is conducted as scientists all over the world have already begun discarding lab equipment, notes, journals and other trappings of tired old empirical method in favor of staring out windows at plants to validate their hypotheses.
Supporters of AGW theory note President Obama himself has made over 100 fact-finding trips to golf courses attempting to validate for himself the accuracy of azalea-confirmed cliimate change. Aides expect him to report his findings shortly before basketball season begins.
Vice Admiral Kerry continued:
?Climate change is one of two or three of the most serious threats our country now faces, if not the most serious, and the silence that has enveloped a once robust debate is staggering for its irresponsibility.?
Experts such as those at the U.N. and World Wildlife Federation agree, we cannot have a serious debate about climate change as long as one side refuses to admit it exists! It is impossible to explain things to people who refuse to shut up and listen when we talk.
We in the Party are also baffled by the fools of the world who refuse to believe in modern ideas such Keynesian economics, scientific Marxism, climate change and other state-approved facts. We've explained this to them over and over and over again: these are all things that should be true, therefore they must be. It seems so obvious, like anti-poverty programs curing poverty. What could go wrong? What more do we have to do to convince them?
Admiral Kerry finally concluded his thoroughly insightful remarks:
?Frankly, those who look for any excuse to continue challenging the science have a fundamental responsibility that they have never fulfilled: Prove us wrong or stand down. ?And by the way?good luck in the effort!?
Yes, good luck, deniers... We have Al Gore, Fleet Admiral Kerry, Ed Begley, numerous hockey sticks and azaleas on our side. What do you have? The science is settled. Presidents Gore and Kerry say so.
*"Prove us wrong or stand down" is yacht-speak for "Shut Up!"
- See more at:
http://thepeoplescube.com/peoples-b...or-stand-down-t9157.html#sthash.kfd8j3la.dpuf
