Thank you, Jeremy. I'm a hell of a vacuumer, though. :toast:
Jaxx, thank you for showing it to your wife. I really hope she enjoys it.
My first novel
- Thread starter ga_ben
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Thank you, Jeremy. I'm a hell of a vacuumer, though. :toast:
Jaxx, thank you for showing it to your wife. I really hope she enjoys it.
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When I think of the genre that your writing would fit into, I think of authors like Grisham, Dan Brown, David Baldacci - these are some of my favorite crime, thriller, mystery writers. I don't read many of these books, but my recollection is that most, if not all, of them are written in third person. I think for this style having a "level" playing field is almost better, because frankly, we don't really care that much about the inner workings of one character. Usually, it is more the interactions of all characters that creates suspense. I didn't really feel that much closer to Caleb than I did to any other character, and I think that is just the essence of an action novel. There may be a "hero", and we should feel that he is awesome, but this can be conveyed just as well, if not better sometimes, through third person. I feel like the point of view switching works better for novels where you are really trying to delve into the psychology and feelings of characters.
By the "narrative time switches", I was just referring to the past vs present tense, in the use of "said" vs "says" and there were a couple other phrases where the present tense was used.
There were a few typos, but I would not say an overabundance. I noticed right around ten throughout the whole book, I would say.
Hmmm... I have a really weird dry sense of humor. If you have ever read any David Sedaris books, his humor is my style. I was actually a little bit surprised that you didn't employ your sense of humor a bit more, because I often laugh at the things you post on facebook. I would have liked to see that personality come through a little bit more. But, at the same time, I think it is just difficult to incorporate humor into an action book. I'm sure it can be done, but just not sure the two mesh that well. While I'm readying a thriller, I want to be kept on edge. Humor almost interrupts the flow of suspense.
I think your personal humor is very witty and "off-key" (if that makes sense), but I felt the humor in the book was a little more "standard". I think a lot of it was just context, and like I said, it seems difficult to incorporate humor into an action novel. I think you could probably write a comedic novel that would be hilarious.
Hope that helps, and doesn't come off too tough. Again, I haven't written anything in years, so it is just my most humble opinion. You should be proud of your work.
Best
Have you ever considered becoming an author consultant? Or writing your own novel? With the explosion in self-publishing, your insight would be invaluable to budding authors.
I've never read a single thing by David Sedaris, never even heard of him, until now. I just skimmed the "Look Inside" section of Let's Explore Diabetes with Owls(what a title) and he sounds like he's right up my alley. To be honest, since I started trying to write, I haven't read much at all.
Have you read Confederacy of Dunces? I thought I would really enjoy it, but I didn't find it funny at all. People rave about how funny it is. :shrug:
I'm not sure I can transition my kind of humor to paper, but you make a good point about how it can interrupt the flow. Something to work on, because I try to find the humor in everything. To me, Nelson Demille does a really good job in the thriller genre of infusing humor into the storyline. Tom Clancy, not so much.
Okay, I see I've rambled. Your insight has been very beneficial, Jess, and not harsh at all. Thank you!
I've never read a single thing by David Sedaris, never even heard of him, until now. I just skimmed the "Look Inside" section of Let's Explore Diabetes with Owls(what a title) and he sounds like he's right up my alley. To be honest, since I started trying to write, I haven't read much at all.
Have you read Confederacy of Dunces? I thought I would really enjoy it, but I didn't find it funny at all. People rave about how funny it is. :shrug:
I'm not sure I can transition my kind of humor to paper, but you make a good point about how it can interrupt the flow. Something to work on, because I try to find the humor in everything. To me, Nelson Demille does a really good job in the thriller genre of infusing humor into the storyline. Tom Clancy, not so much.
Okay, I see I've rambled. Your insight has been very beneficial, Jess, and not harsh at all. Thank you!
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Well, yes I would love nothing better than to do something that involved writing or editing or reviewing literature, but... I have no "experience" and my degree is unrelated. That pretty much leaves me with only a chance to write, and someday, I will. That was always my dream as a child, and I have some books that I wrote in elementary school still to remind me of that.
Sedaris is hilarious - he is a lot like Seinfeld, in that he points out day-to-day happenings in life, that when you really stop to consider them are very funny. I have read Confederacy of Dunces, and I also did not find it as funny as many people thought. Just not my type of humor, really.
One final thing I was thinking about this morning, is that I wouldn't be afraid put a little more unpredictability into your book. I think of the best thrillers I have read, and in many of them, things happen that you wouldn't really have thought would occur - like in the Camel Club series, a main character dies. In the Dragon Tattoo series, all kinds of horrible stuff happens to the main characters. When you throw in some bad stuff that happens to main characters during the action sequences, I think it puts the reader more on edge, because all of a sudden it is like we can't really trust the author anymore. "Man, this character that we loved from the beginning just got gang raped by gorillas, who knows what the author is going to do at the end - no one is off limits". And, it makes the characters feel a bit more human, if bad things can happen to everyone. While reading, I felt a little that everything was going to turn out cheery in the end of your book - the guy would get the girl, solve the crime, the good guys would triumph and the bad would fall. Now this certainly can happen, but throwing in some more bumps along the way might keep the reader guessing more if it is actually going to turn out OK. This angle can certainly be overdone as well, like in Ludlum books where the protagonist gets shot like 50 times and just walks away, but I'm sure you get my point.
I remember in one of my HS English classes we were reading Poe, and my teacher wrote on the board "Fascination with Horror", and explained how people have a need to explore pain and suffering through reading so that we can fulfill some part of us that is almost evil in a way, our dark side. Maybe it makes us feel better about our own day-to-day mundane existence, but whatever it is, I definitely agree. I think in thrillers this fascination can be used to a huge advantage, especially when it involves the characters that we like the best.
Cheers
Sedaris is hilarious - he is a lot like Seinfeld, in that he points out day-to-day happenings in life, that when you really stop to consider them are very funny. I have read Confederacy of Dunces, and I also did not find it as funny as many people thought. Just not my type of humor, really.
One final thing I was thinking about this morning, is that I wouldn't be afraid put a little more unpredictability into your book. I think of the best thrillers I have read, and in many of them, things happen that you wouldn't really have thought would occur - like in the Camel Club series, a main character dies. In the Dragon Tattoo series, all kinds of horrible stuff happens to the main characters. When you throw in some bad stuff that happens to main characters during the action sequences, I think it puts the reader more on edge, because all of a sudden it is like we can't really trust the author anymore. "Man, this character that we loved from the beginning just got gang raped by gorillas, who knows what the author is going to do at the end - no one is off limits". And, it makes the characters feel a bit more human, if bad things can happen to everyone. While reading, I felt a little that everything was going to turn out cheery in the end of your book - the guy would get the girl, solve the crime, the good guys would triumph and the bad would fall. Now this certainly can happen, but throwing in some more bumps along the way might keep the reader guessing more if it is actually going to turn out OK. This angle can certainly be overdone as well, like in Ludlum books where the protagonist gets shot like 50 times and just walks away, but I'm sure you get my point.
I remember in one of my HS English classes we were reading Poe, and my teacher wrote on the board "Fascination with Horror", and explained how people have a need to explore pain and suffering through reading so that we can fulfill some part of us that is almost evil in a way, our dark side. Maybe it makes us feel better about our own day-to-day mundane existence, but whatever it is, I definitely agree. I think in thrillers this fascination can be used to a huge advantage, especially when it involves the characters that we like the best.
Cheers
I had an alternate ending that I wrote, but scrapped, because it was such a downer, so I totally get your point. I definitely don't want to be vanilla. The new book does a better job at putting the main character through the wringer, but unfortunately I've written it in much the same style as Break It, in regards to point of view. That's why I'm appreciative of your ideas on POV. From now on it's third person limited.
It's interesting that you reference Poe. My wife and I were hooked on "The Following" starring Kevin Bacon. Have you watched it at all? I'll spare you the details, but Poe is featured quite a bit in the storyline and the "fascination in horror" that you mentioned is a recurring theme.
I could so totally see you as an editor or the author of a fantastic book. I think you can see that too. BTW, will the guest editorial in HuffPost lead to more guest editorials?
It's interesting that you reference Poe. My wife and I were hooked on "The Following" starring Kevin Bacon. Have you watched it at all? I'll spare you the details, but Poe is featured quite a bit in the storyline and the "fascination in horror" that you mentioned is a recurring theme.
I could so totally see you as an editor or the author of a fantastic book. I think you can see that too. BTW, will the guest editorial in HuffPost lead to more guest editorials?
Angela just finished the book and loved it today while we were on the boat. I came back to the dock and she seriously had tears in her eyes and was visibly upset at what happened to one of your characters near the end. Something about her eye and liver. Anyhow, just thought you'd like to know. I f you want to talk with her, Jack has my cell phone. She reads a couple books a week and LOVED it!!
Congratulations!!!
:0069
Congratulations!!!
:0069
I'm an avid reader but not much of a critic. If I like something, I like it. I don't necessarily know quite why. I know that I have to care about the characters and they have to be real to me.
I, sincerely, hope to be able to visit these characters again. I'm sold.
I, sincerely, hope to be able to visit these characters again. I'm sold.
- Mar 2, 2006
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Don't watch much TV, unless it involves sports, so have not seen The Following. Not sure if the Huffington Post will lead to more editorials, but perhaps! I am going to start my own blog on the NBA soon, as well.
Looks like other people have really enjoyed the book - more opinions are better than one, great job!
Cheers
Hey Ben, any chance of you getting it at Barnes&Noble? Tried to download it with my Nook app but its not available. If not, no big deal. I'll just order it from Amazon. Congrats on your first book and I look forward to reading it. :toast:
Thanks for the feedback everyone. Chuck, I'm so glad Angela liked it. Look forward to meeting and talking to you both at Tunica.
Marsha- Thank you!
Ronnie- right now it's only on Amazon. I'd like to move it to different platforms after my three month KDP run ends in late May.
Redsfann- Hope you like it.
:toast:
Marsha- Thank you!
Ronnie- right now it's only on Amazon. I'd like to move it to different platforms after my three month KDP run ends in late May.
Redsfann- Hope you like it.
:toast:
Didn't forget about u Ben, next up in the que.....I don't quit books....some I read in 2 days, worse ones I read in 2 weeks. Stuck on a baldacci one (2nd will Robbie, enjoyed the first), really struggling to turn a page on this one.
Props on your success
Props on your success
Finished it last night after two nights of reading. Enjoyed it and couldn't put it down!
Fell asleep the 1st night or I probably would have read until the end.
Well done, Ben!
Characters were very believable and I could clearly see each of them in my mind while reading the story.
Thought the 1st half of the book was stronger than the last, but only because of how much closure it took to tie up the loose ends of the story and it just seemed a bit brief on some of it, but without limiting some things, your book would have been another 50 pages easily. Hope that makes sense...:shrug:
Will get on Amazon and give it a favorable review as well.
Hope to read more books from you in the future, and again, congratulations on your 1st, and thoroughly enjoyable, novel.....:toast:
Fell asleep the 1st night or I probably would have read until the end.
Well done, Ben!
Characters were very believable and I could clearly see each of them in my mind while reading the story.
Thought the 1st half of the book was stronger than the last, but only because of how much closure it took to tie up the loose ends of the story and it just seemed a bit brief on some of it, but without limiting some things, your book would have been another 50 pages easily. Hope that makes sense...:shrug:
Will get on Amazon and give it a favorable review as well.
Hope to read more books from you in the future, and again, congratulations on your 1st, and thoroughly enjoyable, novel.....:toast:
If anyone would like my copy of Ben's book--or Joker's book for that matter--and promise to return it to me when you are finished reading it--get my email from the mods and I'll send one or both copies out to you.....:0008
Redsfann,
So glad you liked the book and thank you for letting me know what worked and what didn't. I will definitely work on more detail when tying up loose ends. I think after nine months of writing, I started getting lazy, plus as I mentioned in an earlier post I wrote an alternate ending that I tossed. Late nights in front of a computer add up after awhile.
Thanks again for the feedback! I've got a new book coming out either next week or the first week in June. Trying to get it done before vacation, but it's not looking likely.
:toast:
So glad you liked the book and thank you for letting me know what worked and what didn't. I will definitely work on more detail when tying up loose ends. I think after nine months of writing, I started getting lazy, plus as I mentioned in an earlier post I wrote an alternate ending that I tossed. Late nights in front of a computer add up after awhile.
Thanks again for the feedback! I've got a new book coming out either next week or the first week in June. Trying to get it done before vacation, but it's not looking likely.
:toast:
How in the hell do you release a book, and then have another coming out soon?
This shit takes me months!!!!!!!!
By the way, I love the cover of your next book!:0074
Nick,
I had the outline of it done back in December and started writing it in early January. Kids are in school so that frees up a lot of time. Carpool, late at night, whenever I can. The downside is I've added about 15 pounds of goo to my already gooey frame.
Summer's coming so the writing will grind to a crawl at the end of May.
It takes you months because you have a process and you know what the hell you're doing. Look forward to meeting you in Tunica and I promise I'll try not to bend your ear too much.
:toast:
I had the outline of it done back in December and started writing it in early January. Kids are in school so that frees up a lot of time. Carpool, late at night, whenever I can. The downside is I've added about 15 pounds of goo to my already gooey frame.
Summer's coming so the writing will grind to a crawl at the end of May.
It takes you months because you have a process and you know what the hell you're doing. Look forward to meeting you in Tunica and I promise I'll try not to bend your ear too much.
:toast: