OK guys... I NEED your advice

[BahamaMama]

Tim, looks like a lot of the replies here are missing the fact that this was in the PAST. Now it's your decision time..... so long as you think it was a one time thing, and there isn't anyone else in her "present" .... can you forgive if you find out the truth? if you know that you'd stick it out anyway, you're better off never knowing for sure (just give her the benefit of the doubt, and NEVER take the word of coworkers for your assumption)

unfortunately, once a cheater, always a cheater is pretty much a rule of thumb it may/will turn into someone other than Brad, and THAT you should keep your eyes open for.

do you have any idea of what time frame length (and which year) you are talking about them possibly having something going? that would also make a difference in what advice i'd throw your way.

Good Luck,

~Annie


and if you want to ask me about any specifics that i w/c/sh ould'nt post....mail me at the addy in my profile.

 

[fatdaddycool]

njsf,
Generally I would reply with some hilariously funny anecdote however, this is not the time.

First of all I am truly sorry for the pain you are currently going through and for the pain you are going to go through. I will have a good thought for you and your children tonight.

That being said, generally, if you have the feeling and have been hearing rumours for years I would hazard to guess that it is true. If it were me I would certainly consider it to be true. If there is some changes in your two lifestyles it is definitely true. IF you sex life has fallen off because she is tired alot. If she seems generally disinterested in your life and welfare, short tempered or moody or what ever, those are all signs. However, my advice to you is this........I would confront her with your issue regardless of how little the proof is especially since the fag deleted the quiz. I would simply state that "You have heard the rumours for some time, you have dealt with it for as long as you can, and at this point in your life you feel that it would be best for her to find another place to stay for a while until you can sort these feelings out and clear your head. IF she reacts violently or angrily, and tells you what an idiot you are, she is cheating. STAND BY YOUR GUNS when asking her to leave as soon as possible. If she reacts with surprise and offers to go to any length to fix it, that is a good sign but only that you will be able to reconcile not that she is not cheating. At this point you have to think of the children, she may try to get them involved at which point leaves absolutely no doubt that she is cheating as a guilty person will always try to deflect anger in order to avoid guilt.

I am sorry that this is not good news but you can certainly try to work things out but let me assure you that you need not hire anyone. No grown woman goes on the internet and develops my space web pages, talks secretly on that page, has co-workers stating that she is cheating, especially alot of them, if she isn't cheating.

Please believe me when I tell you that things will get better and that all is not lost. You must, however, understand that when you ask her to leave she will react, and that reaction will be all the proof you need. Trust me, been there done that. Also, a one night stand is one thing, a developed relationship you will not be able to live with no matter how hard you try.

I wish you nothing but happiness and good fortune in the future and if you wish you can get my email from jack and will be happy to help in any way I can.

trust me when I tell you that I know what I am saying, although harsh, it is the only way you will be able to keep your sanity.

 

[S-Love]

njsf,
Generally I would reply with some hilariously funny anecdote however, this is not the time.

First of all I am truly sorry for the pain you are currently going through and for the pain you are going to go through. I will have a good thought for you and your children tonight.

That being said, generally, if you have the feeling and have been hearing rumours for years I would hazard to guess that it is true. If it were me I would certainly consider it to be true. If there is some changes in your two lifestyles it is definitely true. IF you sex life has fallen off because she is tired alot. If she seems generally disinterested in your life and welfare, short tempered or moody or what ever, those are all signs. However, my advice to you is this........I would confront her with your issue regardless of how little the proof is especially since the fag deleted the quiz. I would simply state that "You have heard the rumours for some time, you have dealt with it for as long as you can, and at this point in your life you feel that it would be best for her to find another place to stay for a while until you can sort these feelings out and clear your head. IF she reacts violently or angrily, and tells you what an idiot you are, she is cheating. STAND BY YOUR GUNS when asking her to leave as soon as possible. If she reacts with surprise and offers to go to any length to fix it, that is a good sign but only that you will be able to reconcile not that she is not cheating. At this point you have to think of the children, she may try to get them involved at which point leaves absolutely no doubt that she is cheating as a guilty person will always try to deflect anger in order to avoid guilt.

I am sorry that this is not good news but you can certainly try to work things out but let me assure you that you need not hire anyone. No grown woman goes on the internet and develops my space web pages, talks secretly on that page, has co-workers stating that she is cheating, especially alot of them, if she isn't cheating.

Please believe me when I tell you that things will get better and that all is not lost. You must, however, understand that when you ask her to leave she will react, and that reaction will be all the proof you need. Trust me, been there done that. Also, a one night stand is one thing, a developed relationship you will not be able to live with no matter how hard you try.

I wish you nothing but happiness and good fortune in the future and if you wish you can get my email from jack and will be happy to help in any way I can.

trust me when I tell you that I know what I am saying, although harsh, it is the only way you will be able to keep your sanity.

you've got to be shitting me


:mj07: :mj07: :mj07:

 

[Palmetto Pimp]

6521+6521

 

[S-Love]

Jack- what is up with your members getting drunk and coming to this board for sympathy?

or is it just a Pennsylvania thing?

 

[fatdaddycool]

you've got to be shitting me


:mj07: :mj07: :mj07:

A very well thought out and intelligent post, I am quite sure that nsjf will be very happy with your contribution to his mood right now. Good job S-Love, I hope your boyfriend never leaves you, it will be back to the produce department and rubbing old peaches on your chin to get the feeling of him being with you back. If you haven't noticed peabrain I have stayed away from your posts and would like to keep it that way so here is the deal. Try for one minute to be an adult, and think about someone other than yourself for one minute.

 

[S-Love]

A very well thought out and intelligent post, I am quite sure that nsjf will be very happy with your contribution to his mood right now. Good job S-Love, I hope your boyfriend never leaves you, it will be back to the produce department and rubbing old peaches on your chin to get the feeling of him being with you back. If you haven't noticed peabrain I have stayed away from your posts and would like to keep it that way so here is the deal. Try for one minute to be an adult, and think about someone other than yourself for one minute.

My contribution is as follows-

Grow a set of balls and confront the situation- don't get on the Internet and look for advice and/or sympathy from a bunch of degenerates. These bleeding hearts will only make you feel worse.

 

[JOSHNAUDI]

been sitting here 5 minutes watching a blinking cursor.

i think before giving advice (or taking any) you need to decide on what your plan of action will be to:

If she is cheating, I'm going to...

Or if any variables apply, ie. if it was only one time, alcohol, etc.

On the other side you need to have a pretty good idea of her response, relating to your relationship, if you confront her and she's not cheating. I think it would be personally devistating to you if the mother of your children left you over a trust issue.

The hardest question you have to answer is, Did I give her a reason to cheat? My inlaws got divorced 2 years ago when my mother-in-law cheated on my F-I-L. She was working the graveyard shift at the post office from 7p-7a. He retired and went fishing everyday from 7a-7p. To this day he will not admit that he had any wrong doing in the relationship and must consider the defintion of abandonment as this is what happens when you walk away from a urinal. There is no excuse for cheating but you have to honestly answer if there was anything I did or didn't do that would lead to cheating

I would also take a deep breath and answer the question, what do I want out of this situation. If you are unhappy in your relationship and have thought that the grass might be greener on the other side this would obviously have an affect on your suspisions. If on the other hand you would walk in front of a moving freight train to show your love, you may want to tread lightly in your fact collecting. In either of the 2 cases you are feeling angry and should try your best to act in as reasonable of a manner as possible.

When it comes to confrontation time I would wait until a weekend and have the children out of the house (grandparents maybe) This will be as much as, if not more, of a traumatic experience for your children and you must have a plan for dealing with them. I do not envy the conversation that you will have to have with them.

Finally and very seriously you need to have proof of WMD's before you invade your relationship. I gamble on sports and cards but have never gambled on my relationship. For me, if all I had was rumors and cloak and dagger email messages, I would need something more concrete...Like a call inviting me to be on the Jerry Springer show.

I'm going to post without reading or editing and hope that something made sense above. Regardless of how it reads, I hope that this works out the best way possible for you and your family.

 

[fatdaddycool]

My contribution is as follows-

Grow a set of balls and confront the situation- don't get on the Internet and look for advice and/or sympathy from a bunch of degenerates. These bleeding hearts will only make you feel worse.

Seems to be similar to the advice I gave him with only a few differences, like I wasn't so callous and shitty, nor was I trying to draw an argument while reveling in someone elses pain. You know S-Love, I like to try to be as funny and witty as the next guy but not at the price of another mans neck who never did a damn thing to me. That kind of crap is all you ever do. It's cold, heartless, childish, and totally uncalled for but it seems it is all you know, and I truly feel sorry for you at times. You are probably a very lonely person, but hey no worries.........................you have to deal with it not me. I just have to deal with you polluting threads, not the embarassment of living your life.

 

[BahamaMama]

been sitting here 5 minutes watching a blinking cursor.

i think before giving advice (or taking any) you need to decide on what your plan of action will be to:

If she is cheating, I'm going to...

Josh .... sounds as if we are in total agreement on this point.

All boils down to one VERY important rule in life:


"If you don't want to know the answer, don't ask the f'ing question!!!!"


Very solid advice from you all the way thru your response..... nice of you to watch the cursor and think it out

 

[ajoytoy]

15. Do you think I'm attractive?
--->not my type

just my .02...if she was honest there, then she might not have cheated...gl on what you decide to do...i would take a couple of steps back and think it through...find more information before confronting here and accusing her of cheating

 

[nhl8810]

S-Love

S-Love

If you have nothing positive to contribute then SHUT THE FAWK UP and dont come back in the thread you FAWKING PIECE OF SHIT...

 

[saint]

Hey man sorry you have to deal with this. As others have said to me if there have been rumors of her cheating with the boss, and other guys as well, it can't just be a coincidence. Reading the responses to the quiz in light of what you told us of the background would lead me to believe she is cheating.

I agree with those who said to wait and gather strong evidence. She's denied it in the past and will deny it again, and it will just eat you up. If you can spare the $ I would hire a PI, but if not some others have offered some good advice. Maybe you could confront the boss and tell him you know about the affair and see his reaction? Maybe not cause if i were you i'd kill him.

Either way things will always get better, keep your head up!

 

[Blazer]

Over drinks, have a "friend of your and Brad" (one that you used to work with) tell him your wife has an STD. Then have that friend measure his response.

 

[beantownjim]

THATS IT BOYS I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE. LISTEN YOU F-CKING PUSSY YOU MARRIED A TRAMP COULDNT YOU SEE THIS WHEN YOU MET HER YOU F-CKING LOSER.YOU WERE PROBABLY SO DESPERATE FOR A WOMEN THAT YOU ACCEPTED ANY SLUT THAT CAME ALONG.NOW YOU ARE STUCK WITH HER YOU MORON SO DO WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO GO TO THE BAR AND FIND A GOOD SLUT YOURSELF AND ENJOY IT.DONT WORRY ABOUT YOUR WIFE ANYMORE SHE IS IN BRADS GOOD HANDS SO KID JUST HAVE SOME FUN OF YOUR OWN.YOU ARE PROBABLY A LOSER SO I SUGGEST YOU DONT GO TO THE BAR JUST GO OUT TO ANY STAREET CORNER AND GET YOURSELF A GOOD OLF FASHIONED HOOKER AND LET US KNOW HOW IT FELT.NOW GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF YOU USELESS COWARD.

JACK I USUALLY CHARGE FOR MY ADVICE BUT I WAVE THE FEE IN THIS CASE THIS LUNATIC NEEDS A GOOD F-CK.

 

[beantownjim]

SORRY BOYS MY EMMOTIONS GOT TO ME I NEVER USE THIS KIND OF LANGUAGE ESPECIALLY ABOUT WOMEN. BUT I CANT STAND TO SEE A GROWN MAN CRY LIKE A WIMP.

 

[fatdaddycool]

SORRY BOYS MY EMMOTIONS GOT TO ME I NEVER USE THIS KIND OF LANGUAGE ESPECIALLY ABOUT WOMEN. BUT I CANT STAND TO SEE A GROWN MAN CRY LIKE A WIMP.

Your heartfelt apology is an inspiration to us all, idiot.

 

[dogface]

Things I noticed in the questionaire:

4. Would you keep a secret from me if you thought it was in my best interest?
--->not if I was drinking

There you go, ge her drinking and sentimental.. and then ask the questions. Start by talking about the rumors, and move in for the info. (Personally I would have to know.... would kill me not knowing!) Then I would make an educated decision on what my next move is based on teh facts, and the children.


Secondly, seems your wife talks to this person online, and via e-mail. Just a bit of PI work for yourself and I would do it. If they talk via e-mail or messenger I would indeed be firing something off to the friend under the guise of your wife, fishing for info that was shared. Maybe even saying you had a few drinks and wanted to see how much he remembered about there Brad discussions, cuz you were both talking about the old rumors...

Or finding an online quesionaire similiar to the one she answered, screw wiht the questions slightly and submit it to him and keep a lookout for the reply etc....

Sample question: What is the darkest secret you remember about me?

Of course that is slid into a list of questions like the one you showed, it would be considerd just another question.


GL, and my apologies bro if something like that becomes a truth. Having a child, etc., I couldn't fathom having an affair! (Sure I can look, but no way in hell anything is worth losing my family for!)
A good friend of mind has a great saying about cheating pertaining to himself:

I can't, cuz no woman could afford me. They would have to pay for my lost retirement acct, the house, the child support, the new mortgage for my house, etc....


TSI

 

[Ronnie]

If you have nothing positive to contribute then SHUT THE FAWK UP and dont come back in the thread you FAWKING PIECE OF SHIT...

:mj07: :mj07: :mj07: :mj07:

 

[Ronnie]

njsf, I don't know you from Adam. I consider most of the people on this board as friends. I'm a realist and I speak my mind and tell shit how it is. Not saying shes cheating on you now, but I think she has definitely messed around with douchebag Brad. Similar situation happened to me when I was engaged to this bitch about 7 years ago. Her so called workout partner (Scott) was just a good friend etc... Turned out, she was banging this roid head for about two years before I found out the truth. Needless to say, we broke up and I moved on. Bottom line, your marrried so confront the situation now. Its obviously bothering you to no end. Take care your business and good luck in whatever you decide to do. Let me know if you need to talk more about it.