OK guys... I NEED your advice

[bubbas1]

I would say hold off a little bit on confronting her. Talk to the people that you heard the rumors thru in the 1st place and see if you can get some more info from them. They may have the info/proof you need or there is a good chance they know some who has.

Then get the keystroke logger that was mentioned earlier. When you get it ask on the board and Im sure someone will be able to tell you where/how to hide it so it is hard for someone else to find.

Last piece of advice is to NOT drink right now. Your emotions are running real high right now and alcohol will not help. The only thing it can do is hurt. Until you make a final decision on what to do you need to be firing on all cylinders. There will be plenty of time after its all over to indulge. ( Been thru a divorce before and I know this last part oh to well. Should have taken my own advice)

Good luck to you and I hope it all works out for you one way or the other.

 

[stwoody]

That "Cheaters" show is pretty good. They pay for your case if they use it on the air. Of course you might not want that type of publicity, but it would burn her if this is true. Best thing I can recommend in these cases is go with your instinct. Its usually right in the first place. Good Luck!

 

[SKEETER1]

The question should be

The question should be

Let's say she is cheating........so let's pose the question....Why is she cheating? What isn't she getting out of the relationship she needs? Can I move past it if she is cheating due to the children?
If you can't....then it is time to move on yourself.

 

[kar soo]

now you must be feeling down and out, but if you found out the definate proof that she cheat, then the feeling will turn into hatred and anger.

if you can remain calm, do find out whether she is cheating, and if it is confrim, please remain CALM.

This plan will take slightly more than a year to work out.
Buy insurance policy under her name, after 12mth bring her oversea for a holiday, then make arrangement with a hitman.

 

[RAYMOND]

say to her that you heard brad has hiv , and see how she react

 

[beantownjim]

HEY BLOCKHEAD I THINK THAT WAS THE SMARTEST THING YOU HAVE SAID SINCE YOU HAVE BEEN IN THIS FORUM.THATS GOOD ADVICE.

ANYBODY WHO DOESNT THINK THERE IS RACISM IN THIS COUNTRY IF YOUR WIFE WAS SLEEPING WITH KEVIN GARNETT,BEN WALLACE,LEBRON JAMES,OR (BRAD) WHO WOULD YOU WELCOME WITH OPEN ARMS

 

[ryson]

call cheaters: http://www.cheaters.com/

 

[MadJack]

i hope you didn't do anything last night.

1- you need evidence
2- record calls (radio shack has a recorder)
3- key logger (do a google)

monitor phone and internet, gather evidence, then confront her.

don't let her know you suspect anything.

you will find out 2 things.

a) she didn't cheat. that would be great and she never got wrongly accused of anything.
b) she did cheat. then you make a plan from there.

don't do anything until you know for sure.

 

[neverteaseit]

well i hate to say it but the best way to check especially the descreet way is with a key logger. you can access email accounts etc. it may seem wrong to do but its better know than to look like a fool IMO.

 

[Palmetto Pimp]

6++936+

 

[Palmetto Pimp]

8+925+

 

[Sportsaholic]

Also... since I logged into her email acct should I email Brad and say something along the lines of-- Im sorry Brad but somehow Tim found out what happened between us---I hope he doesnt tell your wife---how do youw ant to handle it?

Then it would just be a matter of me getting the response from brad before she does..

OR i can send it to him then change her password so I would be the only one able to check it

HMMMMMMMMMMMMM


gotta run

Only problem with this idea is he would most likely call her to talk it over rather than in a e-mail............sorry to hear this shit.

 

[RAYMOND]

HEY BLOCKHEAD I THINK THAT WAS THE SMARTEST THING YOU HAVE SAID SINCE YOU HAVE BEEN IN THIS FORUM.THATS GOOD ADVICE.

ANYBODY WHO DOESNT THINK THERE IS RACISM IN THIS COUNTRY IF YOUR WIFE WAS SLEEPING WITH KEVIN GARNETT,BEN WALLACE,LEBRON JAMES,OR (BRAD) WHO WOULD YOU WELCOME WITH OPEN ARMS

:yup :yup :yup

 

[Schouest]

ANAL....



Nail her in the can :mj21: :mj21: ...and if she is found guilty...they she can hit the road...but not without war wounds !!!

 

[Agent 0659]

Whatever you do, make sure you are sober when you do it. If you find out she did cheat, you will be in bad enough shape already and alcohol will only hurt the situation. Cant you just go find the gay guy and push him around a little? You might be able to get him to spill. I wouldnt go trying to find out for sure until you decide what you will do if she is guilty. You need to turn this around and get the upper hand on the situation or it is really going to fuk you up! Dont go barging into an argument and let your emotion take over where you will either A-Tip her off that you almost found out, and the info might never be able to be found or B-what if she didnt do it? You will really be in the doghouse then. Use your head and you will find out what you need, in the meantime start planning what you will do when you find out for sure she did it. Get some money put aside, somewhere to stay maybe? contact an attorney and talk to them in confidence. Good luck man, hope it turns out for the best!

 

[beantownjim]

O.K. KID THIS IS THE LAST PIECE OF ADVICE I WILL GIVE YOU AND BELIEVE ME PAL YOU BETTER LISTEN UP.I REMEMBER A GUY WE KNEW AT THE IRISH SOCIAL CLUB AND HOW HIS WIFE F-CKED HIM OVER SHE MADE THE FIRST MOVE YOU SEE KID WHOEVER MAKES THE FIRST LEGAL MOVE WINS IN THESE CASES ANYWAY THIS GUY STOOD BACK AND HIS WIFE FILED FOR DIVORCE CLAIMING HE WAS A BAD FATHER AND HIT HIS KIDS AND WATCHED PORNO ALLDAY IN OTHER WORDS SHE PAINTED HIM OUT TO BE A MONSTER.THEY WENT TO COURT AND SINCE SHE MADE THE FIRST MOVE THEY BELIEVED HER STORIES HE REALLY GOT SCREWED IN COURT LOST EVERYTHING EVEN HIS VISITATION RIGHTS WITHOUT ANOTHER FAMILY MEMBER NEARBY AT ALL TIMES IN OTHER WORDS HE WAS TREATED LIKE A CHILD MOLESTER.SO IF YOU REALLY BELIEVE YOUR WIFE IS CHEATING YOU BETTER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE OTHERWISE YOU ARE F-CKED IN COURT KID BELIEVE ME I KNOW HOW IT WORKS.

THE COURTS ALWAYS BELIEVE THE PERSON WHO MAKES THE FIRST MOVE SO NJSF DONT WAIT FOR YOUR WIFE TO MAKE THE FIRST MOVE YOU BETTER DO IT OR YOU WILL PAY FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.

 

[fatdaddycool]

Once you believe her to be cheating or even being highly suspicious of her actions, you won't just suddenly forget about it. It will always be in the back of your mind. JOSHNAUDI made some very good points also. Just don't believe you will ever be at peace unless you know.

 

[MadJack]

very helpful site here:

www.marriagebuilders.com

you might want to start in this forum because these people are in the same boat. you won't get the BS like BTJ and s-love over there:
http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/postlist.php?Cat=0&Board=UBB29

 

[bear]

njsf25g

Raising kids is a tough enough job without confusing the issue with alcohol problems, infidelity,fighting etc. I believe, if you still value your wife and your relationship, that it would be wise to confront her with your suspicions,assure her that you continue to value a meaningful relationship and open channels of communication, see your local priest, minister or a marriage counselor and begin the process of building back the trust that you once had and healing your marriage. Don't play games.......Be honest..forthright and be civil and 'in control" JMHO

bear

 

[kosar]

Tim,

I'm sorry to hear this.

Tons of good advice in this thread from FDC and others.

I agree with Agent that you should only address this when you're sober.

Joshnaudi makes sense.

And as idiotic as BeantownJim is on this and every other topic, he does make ONE good point. If you are the one to initiate the divorce(with proof of her cheating), you somewhat help your odds in a situation where women get custody like 90% of the time.

Good luck, man. Hopefully it isn't true.