I hate life.

[bleedingpurple]

What's the problem?

It doesn't matter whether it's a male or female. People say things they cannot take back, and it can alter relationships forever.

Do you disagree?

I don't disagree with that part of the post. I just don't think a man would of made the post is all. It does start out as a little bit scolding and most guys wouldn't advise him to reflect on what he did wrong at this point. I have no advice to give because I think MJ, Woodson, and few others did a really good job..

 

[kellyindallas]

I don't disagree with that part of the post. I just don't think a man would of made the post is all. It does start out as a little bit scolding and most guys wouldn't advise him to reflect on what he did wrong at this point. I have no advice to give because I think MJ, Woodson, and few others did a really good job..

That's my point. You guys assume it's "scolding", when it was anything but. It was agreeing with him from my own personal experiences.

But, b/c I'm a female it was automatically assumed otherwise.

There is no excuse for cheating, EVER. Only weak-minded immoral people do it. If you don't want to be with someone, man up or woman up and get out of the relationship.

 

[MadJack]

Where did I say that? In fact, if YOU READ the posts, I said that was wrong.

What's really funny is you guys' preconceptions based on gender. My comments are based on MY OWN experience in saying those things to someone I was involved with. I learned from that experience, I was wrong, and I learned what saying things that you can't take back can do to someone and the relationship...

So much for typical male assumptions...

i'm not going to go back and read the whole thread, or just your posts, for that matter.

the post i replied to sounded like you condoned her behavior because of "words" that were spoken.

that's all.

you will NEVER convince me that his wife was justified to fuck around on him, period.

she broke the partnership in a serious manner and should be on the street or with her new beau and quit messing with 3 second's mind, by even being there. SHE should have thought this crap out (and she did). SHE knew what the consequenses were, PLAIN AND FUCKING SIMPLE!

 

[kellyindallas]

i'm not going to go back and read the whole thread, or just your posts, for that matter.

the post i replied to sounded like you condoned her behavior because of "words" that were spoken.

that's all.

you will NEVER convince me that his wife was justified to fuck around on him, period.

she broke the partnership in a serious manner and should be on the street or with her new beau and quit messing with 3 second's mind, by even being there. SHE should have thought this crap out (and she did). SHE knew what the consequenses were, PLAIN AND FUCKING SIMPLE!

Maybe you should read the thread before you make ill-informed judgments based on erroneous preconceived notions.

I've explained my comments (which wouldn't have needed explanation had I been male). Stop reading into things that aren't there.

Carry on...

 

[MadJack]

I think you've already learned a very valuable lesson.There are certain things and low blows that once given, cannot be taken back. They chip away at the foundation, and eventually the foundation crumbles. LEARN FROM THIS.

She definitely should not have cheated. The fact that she did this means she doesn't love you. Period.

It will take time; it always does. Just remember, you are at the worst part right now. It WILL get easier. Take this time to grow as an individual. Take up hobbies you always wanted to, or nourish those you already have.

No matter how enraged you are, try not to be a petty asshole. It's not worth it and secondly, just be a bigger person. You'll feel better about it in the end.

Look back over the relationship and really think about what YOU did wrong, and learn from it. Don't repeat it in the future.

You will eventually find someone else and you will have another chance at true happiness. Though we don't always know why things happen that seem so terrible, there is often a very silver lining behind those clouds.

Good luck.

this is condescending.

sorry, telling it like i see it.

fine, you're supportive of a cheating scank and put all the blame on the husband.

it doesn't matter WTF he did, she shouldn't haven't CHEATED on him.

disclaimer: i had too many beers

 

[MadJack]

Maybe you should read the thread before you make ill-informed judgments based on erroneous preconceived notions.

I've explained my comments (which wouldn't have needed explanation had I been male). Stop reading into things that aren't there.

Carry on...

okay, i read it and you support the cheating wife :shrug:

great.

:mj06:

it's all HIS fault

 

[hedgehog]

i'm not going to go back and read the whole thread, or just your posts, for that matter.

the post i replied to sounded like you condoned her behavior because of "words" that were spoken.

that's all.

you will NEVER convince me that his wife was justified to fuck around on him, period.

she broke the partnership in a serious manner and should be on the street or with her new beau and quit messing with 3 second's mind, by even being there. SHE should have thought this crap out (and she did). SHE knew what the consequenses were, PLAIN AND FUCKING SIMPLE!

you tell her Jackie, i 100% agree with you...

 

[kneifl]

FWIW, this is my opinion from seeing one of my best friends go through this recently. You have got to put it in your head that this is a girl you don't wanna be around right now. The sooner you or her move out the better. She plans on coming at you with everything she can in court, and you should do the same. Forget about her, it's over - she's forgot about you. If you had kids I'd say point out every flaw of hers to the judge and you should do that even if you don't have kids. I know it might be sad for you to comprehend this right now or it might be tough for you to do but treat her as if she has got a target on her head right now and it's you for screwing you over so bad and you've got your guns loaded. Give it to her with everything you got, try to take everything away from her. This is probably some of the best advice you'll get so take it.

kneifl

 

[Livin'tillthEnd]

I'm sure I won't hear the end of this, but I don't think Kelly was being condescending at all. 3 Seconds said he treated her like shit whether this was through verbal abuse or just not trying to communicate with his wife. And then later on he even mentions not wanting to live because of all the pain.
I think Kelly was saying use this as a positive and learning experience, i.e. when you love someone, show them in ways that are important to them, as opposed to waiting until its way too late.
In no way did she condone cheating, she said, "she shouldn't have cheated no matter what."
But also, as bad as it hurts, theres always a light at the end of the tunnel as dark as it may seem. Nothing is so bad that you shouldn't go on living, learning and loving.
I know I don't know you but, I do wish you the best 3 seconds and hopefully you do see that there are people who care about you and want to see you successfully overcome your heartache.

Life is a gift man, take advantage.
Hang in there 3.

this is condescending.

sorry, telling it like i see it.

fine, you're supportive of a cheating scank and put all the blame on the husband.

it doesn't matter WTF he did, she shouldn't haven't CHEATED on him.

disclaimer: i had too many beers

 

[MadJack]

too many beers for me.

sorry for arguing with you kelly.

 

[VaNurse]

3, I'm sorry you're having to go through this. I've been there myself. Interestingly, it was right around the seven year mark for me as well.

My advice is to cut the ties as quickly and cleanly as you can. Try to identify an interest you have and pour yourself into it. Taking a class worked for me and ended up in a career that can carry me through anything and anywhere I go. Stop beating yourself up; it's not healthy. Take some solace in the Serenity Prayer and ask yourself, "What can I do to change this?" If there's nothing you can do, be smart enough to let it go, learn from it and move on.

As far as her turning it around on you, you may have been distant and uncommunicative but SHE made the choice to seek her pleasure outside the marriage. Now she must live with the consequences. It's just possible that she's discovered the love of her life and, in another few years, he'll do the same thing to her!

What goes around comes around but it's not up to you to make it come around.

Note to MJ'ers: I'd be curious to know how many of the self-righteous folks here who have virtually stoned this woman are completely without sin themselves.

 

[gardenweasel]

this crap would never happen in iran...









/

 

[kellyindallas]

Ha ha! That's what I figured. No worries.

Also, thanks to Livin' for reading my posts as they were meant to be read.....

 

[3 Seconds]

Well we are still in the same house & this is making for quite an interesting dynamic.

Last night I went out to the bar & with in 20 mins she calls me & tells me to come home. She doesnt want me out gettin drunk & doing something crazy, so I pick up a 12 pack at the grocery store & head on home. I figured that would actually be the best move.

So I get home & completely & totally act like I dont give a fuck about anything. I have come to terms & am now happily looking forward.

We end up on our back deck & I am drinkin & smoking just watching the sunset over the water & she comes out has a few beers. She almost immediately starting softly crying about how sad this all has gotten. And that its not my problem anymore to be concerned when she is sad, cause I did try & get her to just stop crying. We start just talking about what we are going to do in the future. We are just talking & rehashing what & why things went wrong & out of the blue she asks me if I she can hug me. I say NO.

The evening continues just sitting out on the deck drinkin & listen to music. A few brief moments the convo gets heated & she actually started throwin things out of my packed boxes some clothes some books & I am just laughing at her. Actually enjoyin this a bit at this point, but it settles back down & we are back on the deck & again completely unexpectedly she jumps out of her chair & just grabs & hugs me as she starts balling her eyes out. I just let her get it out. I did not embrace her at all. She did this for about 6-7 mins. She starting mumbling some shit about "you wanted to make it better, you really wanted to & I just fucked up our entire relationship." She did not try & reconcile though at any point.

So after it was over I tell her I am happy for you, happy you got that out. That was the first true remorse she has showed.

Its just funny that whenever I act like I am totally fine with the situation, dont care anymore all of a sudden she cares & gets sad. When I am acting like I care she wants nothing to do with me & tell me all the BS how she is so done etc......

I dont get it.

 

[MadJack]

Well we are still in the same house & this is making for quite an interesting dynamic.

Last night I went out to the bar & with in 20 mins she calls me & tells me to come home. She doesnt want me out gettin drunk & doing something crazy, so I pick up a 12 pack at the grocery store & head on home. I figured that would actually be the best move.

So I get home & completely & totally act like I dont give a fuck about anything. I have come to terms & am now happily looking forward.

We end up on our back deck & I am drinkin & smoking just watching the sunset over the water & she comes out has a few beers. She almost immediately starting softly crying about how sad this all has gotten. And that its not my problem anymore to be concerned when she is sad, cause I did try & get her to just stop crying. We start just talking about what we are going to do in the future. We are just talking & rehashing what & why things went wrong & out of the blue she asks me if I she can hug me. I say NO.

The evening continues just sitting out on the deck drinkin & listen to music. A few brief moments the convo gets heated & she actually started throwin things out of my packed boxes some clothes some books & I am just laughing at her. Actually enjoyin this a bit at this point, but it settles back down & we are back on the deck & again completely unexpectedly she jumps out of her chair & just grabs & hugs me as she starts balling her eyes out. I just let her get it out. I did not embrace her at all. She did this for about 6-7 mins. She starting mumbling some shit about "you wanted to make it better, you really wanted to & I just fucked up our entire relationship." She did not try & reconcile though at any point.

So after it was over I tell her I am happy for you, happy you got that out. That was the first true remorse she has showed.

Its just funny that whenever I act like I am totally fine with the situation, dont care anymore all of a sudden she cares & gets sad. When I am acting like I care she wants nothing to do with me & tell me all the BS how she is so done etc......

I dont get it.

interesting. keep us updated.

:0corn

 

[zig]

I doubt that everything was your fault. It takes 2 people to make a relationship work. She most likely has been thinking about getting out of your relationship for some time and is using your last argument as an exuse to do it. The best thing you can do is work on yourself and try and make yourself a better person. I know it's hard to do now, but you will have to let her go and move on. Take care of yourself and you will get through this.

 

[hedgehog]

you will not listen to a thing people are posting on here, she cheated on you...bottom line, get the fuck out, don't answer your cell phone or text messages, once a cheat always a cheat...you are going to go back to her, got to man up and leave, she is just playing games

 

[Cie]

Its just funny that whenever I act like I am totally fine with the situation, dont care anymore all of a sudden she cares & gets sad. When I am acting like I care she wants nothing to do with me & tell me all the BS how she is so done etc......

I dont get it.

Reminds me of high school

 

[3 Seconds]

you will not listen to a thing people are posting on here, she cheated on you...bottom line, get the fuck out, don't answer your cell phone or text messages, once a cheat always a cheat...you are going to go back to her, got to man up and leave, she is just playing games

I am listening, but in SC law the one to leave the marital house first loses out until the divorce papers are filed. I am meeting with my attorney on Tuesday. I can not leave the house before then.

 

[hedgehog]

I am listening, but in SC law the one to leave the marital house first loses out until the divorce papers are filed. I am meeting with my attorney on Tuesday. I can not leave the house before then.

I wouldn't say one word to her, except sign these cheater