Episode 59 "Battle of the Bastards" June 19th
Episode 59 was an awesome episode, one of the Top 5 ever for sure, holy hell:scared
Nice to see the good guys win:0058
- Things don't look to be going very well in Meereen, but Daenerys doesn't seem that upset. Daenerys, Tyrion, Missandei and Grey Worm meet with the masters, who tell Ms. Dragon that they will let her and Tyrion leave the city if they hand over the Unsullied, Missandei and her dragons. She just stands there like the super diva she is and says "really huh, watch this motherfuckers!" Drogon flies in, Ms. Dragon jumps on for a ride and wew baby it is on like Donkey Kong. She rides Drogon into the bay as her other two misbehaving dragons Rhaegal and Viserion break out of the catacombs and join them, and they begin to burn the fleet. Not the entire fleet, after all she needs some ships, Daenerys is always thinking, yep always thinking ahead, the chick as brains and a body, total package. She really needs to try out for The Bachelorette on ABC, I think she'd be a great Bachelorette, just my two cents.
- Tyrion tells the masters that Daenerys has ordered one of them die as punishment for their crimes. They offer Yezzan, as he is lowborn, but Grey Worm kills the other two masters "Pulp Fiction style" instead, and Tyrion orders Yezzan to tell the other masters back home of Daenerys' mercy. In other words Tyrion says what I always say "Do not, I repeat do not fuck with Daenerys!" oh and let us not forget about Daenerys man Daario, he leads the Dothraki charge against the Sons of the Harpy, who are seen massacring freedmen outside the city, and slaughters them all. Finally those little fucks with their "Motley Crue Theatre of Pain" (reference that many won't get, go ahead look up Motley Crue Theatre of Pain album, go ahead do it) masks get fucked up. No more of their surprising sneak attacks, the Dothraki took care of them.
- Daenerys and Tyrion meet with Theon (I mean holy shit has Theon had a rough 2 months, sheeesh I'll tell ya) and Yara, who have arrived in the city. They offer Ms. Dragon their fleet of ships if she will help them overthrow Euron and grant independence to the Iron Islands. Tyrion is wary of Theon because of their previous encounter at Winterfell and of his supposed murder of Bran and Rickon Stark, but Theon insists he has paid for what he has done, and proclaiming he did not kill them, the little man seems to buy it. Daenerys agrees to assist them if the Ironborn will cease all reaping, raping, and pillaging going forward, to which Yara reluctantly accepts. Why did Yara accept? Well I'll tell you why? She wants Ms. Dragon bad and it looks like the feeling might be mutual, kind of looks like Yara and Ms. Dragon might be doing some finger banging in the near future, totally flirting going on there. Daario might get some three way action, I think he'll be up for it.
- Jon, Sansa, Tormund and Davos meet with Ramsay, Harald Karstark and Smalljon Umber (the fucker that kidnapped Rickon Stark). Ramsay offers some bullshit terms for surrender, Jon says "let's do it right here dickweed", Ramsay says no. Sansa with the "drop the mic moment" when she tells Ramsay that he will die tomorrow, yeah you go girl. Yep she dropped the mic then rode off on Mr. Ed, bad ass I tell yeah, bad ass. After Jon discusses the battle plan with Tormund and Davos, Sansa criticizes Jon for attacking without gathering more men and warns him to not do what Ramsay wants him to do, Jon is like "what kind of advice is that!", but Sansa was right.
- Jon meets with Fire Bitch and asks her not to bring him back if he should die in battle. Melisandre replies that it is not her gift that has brought Jon back but the Lord of Light's, and that it is the Lord's will that brought him back, I mean seriously bitch enough with the lord of light garbage, I mean come on. How many times can the lord of light get a do over, I mean how many times can he be wrong?
- Ok finally, what I have been waiting for for a year now............Davos and Tormund discuss their time serving Stannis and Mance respectively, with both acknowledging that they may have been serving the wrong king for so long. Davos says he's going for a nice walk, I mean you need to get your cardio in before a big battle, either that or some hot yoga. Anyway he goes on his walk and comes across the pyre where Shireen was burned, also finding the wooden stag he had given her before she died. FINALLY! YES FINALLY! It looks like Davos has figured out Fire Bitch is responsible. I have been saying forever Fire Bitch must die, it will be the most satisfying death on GOT history for me, she must pay for burning a 10 year old girl to death, she's gotta pay. Make her pay Davos, make her pay, put her in an ice bath and drown her, she needs to freeze, the Fire Bitch must die, go get her Davos, go get her.
#feardavos
- Ok it is battle time in the North, oh hell yeah! The armies gather the following morning as Ramsay brings out Rickon. He tells Rickon to run towards Jon's army and, as he does, brings out a bow and fires arrows at him. Jon hastily rides out on a horse to try to save Rickon, but Rickon is struck through the heart by an arrow and killed. Yep we lose another Stark, dammit! Mr. Snow fell for the trap, Ramsay has him right where he wants him. Ramsay orders the Bolton cavalry to ride out to Jon, and Davos is forced to order the Stark cavalry out of position to shield him. Jon has fucked up big time, yep a total fuck up, Sansa warned him about Ramsay and he didn't listen, way to go Jon!
- The Bolton phalanx surrounds the Starks and closes in on them, while Smalljon leads his men over the wall to kill the soldiers trying to escape, in other words it looks real bad for Jon and his boys, real bad, not even the giant can break through the wall. The Starks (and his peeps) are totally surrounded, it ain't looking good. Tormund does manage to engage Smalljon in a fistfight and rips out his throat, so that was a positive, but the Stark forces still appear doomed until a horn sounds out in the distance. And bammo look who it is.......Littlefinger and Sansa arrive with the Knights of the Vale, who swiftly cut down the Bolton soldiers. Well we now know who Sansa wrote that letter to. Sansa saves the day!
- Asshole Ramsay decides to retreat inside Winterfell, and the chase is on. Ramsay tells his remaining men that the Northern rebels are too weak for a siege. However, Wun Wun (Jolly Green Giant) is able to break down Winterfell's gates to allow Wildlings to pour into the castle. Ramsay shoots an arrow into Wun Wun's eye, killing him, he didn't have to that but we are talking about Ramsay. Jon goes all Matrix on Ramsay blocking arrows from close distance. He then ground and pounds Ramsay so bad that the UFC should sign him to a contract. He just lays him out, he's about to kill him when he looks at Sansa, he keeps Ramsay alive. He does the brotherly duty and leaves the kill to Sansa, fuck yeah!
- The Bolton banners on Winterfell are torn down and Stark banners raised in their place, now that is what we are talking about, the Starks are back people the Starks are back! Ned would be so proud, yep so proud. At night, Sansa goes to visit Ramsay in his cell in the kennels, with his hounds, and those hounds are hungry. In what can only be called a total makeover, Sansa gets her revenge. Yep she's no longer the little baby, she's a women now, Ned would be so proud of her. Sansa just sits there and watches the dogs tear Ramsay apart, she walks a way with a grin, yep as I said, Daddy would be so proud. In what is maybe the most satisfying death in the series history we see Ramsay ripped apart. See ya Ramsay, see ya.
And don't forget Arya is coming home, Sanasa will see her sister soonx23::0001
Sad we lost Wun Wun and Rickon, they will be missed
Oh and I'll say this one more time Shireen death must be avenged, Fire Bitch must die.
Top 5 episode for sure, and if you didn't like that episode you suck at life.
