Episode 63......... July 30 ............ "The Queen's Justice"
1st off, great episode, and man oh man was that last scene fucking epic, now that is some high quality acting right there let me tell ya!
- Jon Snow and Davos arrive at Dragonstone, Jon finally gets to meet his Aunty Daenerys, the meeting doesn't go so well at first, and nope Jon won't kneel, he says fuck this shit I ain't kneeling! Jon is mighty impressed by the Dragons though, yep he's a fan. Jon goes on and on about the White Walkers and the army of the dead and Daenerys ain't buying. Aunty Daenerys eventually let's Jon mine the mountain of dragon glass beneath Dragonstone, so all and all a good trip for Jon.
- Melisandre hides like a little bitch and then takes off, fuck her. She says she will be leaving Dragonstone and heading to Volantis. Before departing, she says that she will return to Westeros at some point in the future, where she expects to die, well fuck I sure hope so, this bitch needs to die. Of course she'll probably come up with some "Lord of Light bullshit" that says she gets to live forever and retire with a nice Time Share in Tahiti or some shit. Melisandre must die, we must never forget Shireen, nope never forget.
- Theon Greyjoy survives and is plucked out of the water by one of the few remaining ships of Yara Greyjoy's fleet. The Ironborn demand to know what became of their commander, and gee what a shocker, Theon lies and claims that he tried in vain to rescue her from Euron. The Ironborn should have just thrown him back in the water. Theon/Reek lives, that ain't right.
- Euron Greyjoy returns to King's Landing bearing his gift to Cersei, and it ain't a Gift Card from Best Buy. Yep he has Ellaria Sand and Tyene Sand all gift wrapped for Cersei. Euron presents his gifts to Cersei and he even finds time to ask Jamie if Cersei likes a finger up the butt, the man isn't afraid to ask the tough questions.
- Cersei takes the Sands to the dungeons, Cersei taunts Ellaria, and kisses Tyene with the same poison used to kill her own daughter. Cersei is in vintage cunt mode, she is going to torture those Sands bad, nope not looking good for Ellaria and Tyene, nope not at all. #poorsands
- The Iron Bank wants Cersei to pay up, Cersei goes and gets a PayDay loan to buy some time, it works.
- The Unsullied army take over Casterly Rock, it was an easy victory. Just before Grey Worm breaks into his happy dance he sees Euron Greyjoy arrive with his Iron Fleet, destroying Daenerys' ships and stranding Grey Worm and his remaining forces. Well fuck me, it was a trap!
- Jaime Lannister leads the Lannister army and the Tarly's army from King's Landing to take Highgarden, the seat of House Tyrell, in retribution for Daenerys taking Casterly Rock. And yes that's right I said Tarly's army, Sam's father turned against the Tyrell's, Sam ain't going to be happy when he finds that out. Remember his Dad yelling at dinner table about loyalty, well look what mighty Dad did, he turned on his oath.
- Olenna Tyrell knows she's about to get killed by Jamie but the old lady gives no fucks. Jamie being all nice and shit gives Olenna poison so she won't suffer, bad mistake! After drinking the poison, Olenna reveals to Jaime that she was responsible for Joffrey's own poisoning. Yep she just gives it to Jamie, just sticks it right to him. And then right before she goes out she says "make sure you tell Cersei it was me". Bad ass I tell ya, bad ass.
- Samwell Tarly saves Jorah Mormont from that terrible case of Athlete's Foot, thatta boy Sam! Mr. Friend-zone himself is back, yep he's back! He's on the first flight out of Oldtown and will be getting a hug from Daenerys in no time, Jorah is pumped up!
- Sansa begins her command at Winterfell, and is doing her best Donald Trump impression by making Winterfell great again, yep she is on it. She's all about the grain, gotta make sure the North is fed, you go girl! Sansa is alerted of an arrival at the gates, and finds her brother Bran, Starks unite, woo hoo! Of course a short time later Sansa realizes Bran is a wack job but hey Bran is back so all good.