Episode 71 ......... May 5th ............ "The Last of the Starks"
Well fuck shit fuck, Missandei is beheaded, that ain't cool, nope that ain't cool at all! On the plus side Ghost is ok, but damn, why did innocent Missandei have to die like that, not cool man, not cool!
- The North burn the dead that died in the battle of all battles (gotta be on the safe side, you don't want em coming back, ya just never know). Jon then gives a speech about how they must keep the dead alive in their memories, yep yet again Jon shows why he is a true leader. I love the part where Jon is the one that burns Lyanna Mormont, she deserved Jon to do the deed and she got it!
- Daenerys mentions that Gendry is the true son of Robert Baratheon, and makes him Lord of Storms End. But all Gendry really cares about is some Arya action. Well it doesn't go so well for poor Gendry, Arya shoots him down, poor Gendry! Arya ain't the marrying type, she's got other things on her mind, yep Arya gotta finish that list!
- Jaime, Brienne, Tormund, Tyrion and Podrick play a drinking game, which results in Brienne leaving after Tyrion asks if Brienne if she is a virgin. It would have been nice if Tormund took her virginity, but nope Mr. golden hand Jamie decided to ride the Knight and give Brienne some lovin'
- Daenerys confronts Jon and tells him not to tell anyone about his parentage, she's begging hard, but Jon ain't going for it. Danny is not, I repeat NOT liking this whole "Jon is the rightful ruler" thing, nope she is not a fan of it at all!
- Daenerys wants to storm Kings Landing, but Sansa disagrees. And we are not talking about a minor disagreement here, we are talking a hardcore disagreement. Sansa gives Ms Dragon lady a cold hard stare, like when you tell your girlfriend/wife she looks fat, like that kind of stare! They decide that Jon and Ser Davos will take the Kings Road, while Daenerys and her fleet will sail to Dragonstone with Jaime remaining in Winterfell.
- Arya and Sansa tell Jon about their mistrust of Ms Dragon Lady. Bran then gets in his DeLorean time machine and lets the sisters in on the big secret.
- Bronn turns up to kill Jaime and Tyrion but they offer him Highgarden in exchange for their lives. Not sure how the fuck that is going to work out, but I guess we shall see. No way all three of those dudes live at the end, one of them will die.
- Arya joins The Hound on the way to Kings Landing, the two BFF's are back together, awesome, simply awesome!
- Brienne tells Jaime about what Cersei did and that night Jaime sneaks out to go to King's Landing despite Brienne begging him to stay. You just knew Jamie was going to head back, it was just a question of when.
- As Dany, her dragons and her fleet approach Dragonstone, they are attacked by Euron's ships, killing Rhaegal and capturing Missandei. Yep safe to say that little ride on the dragons went poorly. Dany now down to one dragon and super nice Missandei is captured.
- Varys tells Daenerys to not burn King's Landing and Tyrion convinces her to talk to Cersei first. Later, Varys admits to Tyrion he thinks Jon would be a better leader, but Tyrion remains loyal to Daenerys. Or to put it another way Dany is all power hungry and wants to fuck shit up, and Dany ain't listening to reason.
- Euron returns and reports of the death of Rhaegal and capture of Missandei. Cersei orders the gates of King's Landing remain open, intent on using the citizens as hostages to deter an all out assault on the city. Yep, vintage Cersei cunt bitch action, she's at it again. Oh and speaking of Euron, he thinks he got Cersei pregnant, whoops! I guess King's Landing doesn't have access to Maury Povich because that boy needs to hear "You Are Not The Father"!
- Daenerys, Tyrion and Grey Worm arrive at The Red Keep and both Cersei and Daenerys demand the other surrender, you know that ain't happening.
- Tyrion attempts to appeal to Cersei's humanity (good luck with that plan) and asks her to surrender for the sake of her child. However, Cersei refuses to back down and has Missandei beheaded in front of Dany and Grey Worm. Poor Missandei, one of the worst deaths in the shows history, top 10 for sure (Shireen number1), so sad, so very sad!
Note 1: Watch out for Grey Worm, he is going to go on a rampage. I know everybody is waiting for the big fight between The Hound and his brother. But now that Gregor Clegane cut Missandei's head off I hope we see Grey Worm take him out.
Note 2: I said way back in Season 4 that Arya was going to be the one to kill Cersei and I am sticking to that prediction. Jamie is going to play a role in that, but I think Arya will be the one to makes the kill.
And oh yeah glad to see Ghost will be ok, yes it sucked he had to leave Jon, but he'll live out his final days getting belly rubs from Tormund so it will be a good life for him! I would have liked if Ghost picked up his sister Nymeria before he took off with Tormund, but oh well. At least two of the direwolves survived so that's good! I will say this though, why the hell didn't Jon give Ghost a good hug before he left? I mean come on dude! Ghost has been with you since the beginning, have a nice "shake a paw" before you leave for fucks sake!